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Role of in-laws:Visiting In Laws in India

2009-06-02

Name: Maya Dear Sisters,

I am a singaporean indian. I am married to an indian national for 4 yrs. We have 2 year old son. My hubby belongs to the Brahmin Caste and I am not linked to an caste.There were lots of opposition to our wedding but we overcome it but I clearly feel and can see that my in laws treat me differently from their 2nd DIL because she is a North Indian Brahmin...My MIL always likes to sing the praises of her 2nd DIL but lately lots of disputes have taken place between my in laws and the 2nd DIL..because of irresponsible behaviour of my BIL. He is jobless and simply refuse to find a job which suits his education. He has finished MSC...but he prefers to be in the insurance line but he doesn' t do his job well so he was kicked out...His wife is very furious with him and is not letting him into the house so he is putting up with his mum...My SIL doesn' t talk to me because she is not interested with anyone associate with his family. We only talked 3 - 4 times...

Coming back to my problem, I have never lived in with my in laws in India... We only go 2 weeks every year...Now situations there are not good...I also need to mention that my MIL has made my life miserable when I was there for those 2 weeks.I usually endure it for the sake of my hubby...She cursed me and said I changed my hubby infront of my parents when we all went there together last year... After all these, I am fed up to go there this June...I am very upset but I can' t show this to my hubby...I feel very abandoned there...Now she will simply pull my son to her saying that she misses him...They don' t even care abt me...They behave very differently infront my hubby..as if they love me but when he is not there, they don' t care abt me...My MIL went ahead to tell me my mum so much of false issues about my hubby to my mum...They only want money..If my hubby gives money, they will laugh and talk to him but if he doesn' t.They curse him...=( How to make myself cool when I am there? Nowadays I am just losing my temper easily and I fear if she starts her quarrels with my hubby and she will definitely pull my name and irritate me. I might ending up giving my piece of mind to her....I am just sick and tired of her behaviour and the ignorance of my FIL....So sickening... I am expecting alot of things to happen because of my BIL will be there when we go...Help!

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Dear Sisters,

I am a singaporean indian. I am married to an indian national for 4 yrs. We have 2 year old son. My hubby belongs to the Brahmin Caste and I am not linked to an caste.There were lots of opposition to our wedding but we overcome it but I clearly feel and can see that my in laws treat me differently from their 2nd DIL because she is a North Indian Brahmin...My MIL always likes to sing the praises of her 2nd DIL but lately lots of disputes have taken place between my in laws and the 2nd DIL..because of irresponsible behaviour of my BIL. He is jobless and simply refuse to find a job which suits his education. He has finished MSC...but he prefers to be in the insurance line but he doesn' t do his job well so he was kicked out...His wife is very furious with him and is not letting him into the house so he is putting up with his mum...My SIL doesn' t talk to me because she is not interested with anyone associate with his family. We only talked 3 - 4 times...

Coming back to my problem, I have never lived in with my in laws in India... We only go 2 weeks every year...Now situations there are not good...I also need to mention that my MIL has made my life miserable when I was there for those 2 weeks.I usually endure it for the sake of my hubby...She cursed me and said I changed my hubby infront of my parents when we all went there together last year... After all these, I am fed up to go there this June...I am very upset but I can' t show this to my hubby...I feel very abandoned there...Now she will simply pull my son to her saying that she misses him...They don' t even care abt me...They behave very differently infront my hubby..as if they love me but when he is not there, they don' t care abt me...My MIL went ahead to tell me my mum so much of false issues about my hubby to my mum...They only want money..If my hubby gives money, they will laugh and talk to him but if he doesn' t.They curse him...=( How to make myself cool when I am there? Nowadays I am just losing my temper easily and I fear if she starts her quarrels with my hubby and she will definitely pull my name and irritate me. I might ending up giving my piece of mind to her....I am just sick and tired of her behaviour and the ignorance of my FIL....So sickening... I am expecting alot of things to happen because of my BIL will be there when we go...Help!

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How to deal with this?

I feel that my husbands parents are using their son. My husband is from India and I am from the USA. He obtained his greencard and citizenship through me after coming here. He is a physician and obtained his residency training. I worked to earn for our family for two years until he got his job. Then he applied for his parents to visit us on a visiting visa. We were both wo... - Tina Shah [View Message]

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I agree they have completely double standards as I recently found out. I saw my husbands childhood photos when he was young. His parents claim they sacrificed everything for their kids and lived poor and behave like martyr parents. Got treated as free domestic servant. But the photos showed them dressed like Bollywood stars with watches and jewellery enjoying their life. O... - Tina [View Message]

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