Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello!

I live in USA(7 yr)When i came after marriage i had good relation with hub family- relatives. we were talking on phone regularly. it created impression i am really very good and i care for them too much and i kind of love them all......

my in-laws visited after 8 monthand stayed with me (west coast) as my hus got job in another east coast.. .. but first time stying with in-laws wasn' t good healthy relation with them .. kind of sasu-bahu- kach-kach......differnt style of living, cooking,clothings and staying.

from india .. each and every phone call they started asking and inquiry abt when will have baby...bla...bla...(i had baby after 5 yr) so i have stop talking ( say avoided ) with all of them .. even she asked my relatives to ask why i dont have baby and when we are planning and kind of ......it created problem win our marriage life....and i reduced talking ...occasionally with in-laws on festival and b-day...kind of..

now issue started i had baby after 5 yr of marriage and when i had baby i insisted my mother to come for delivery. well, as you all know this situation hurt my husbands family more. My paretns have GC so they visit USA every other year and stay at my home just wk or 15 days. This gives jealousy to in-laws. My parents know and they don’t want to visit us. Even they understand that no body likes in-laws i have two brothers.

well, to be very frank I don' t have good relations with my in-laws or husb' s family. Now we hardly talk on phone sometimes very very rarely on phone ...only hi- hello. .. I don’t like lots of interference in my life.. .. call your uncles son’s wife ( cousin sister in-laws birthday) .. go and visit in-lawsfriends home( 60 yrs old) … now it is difficult with baby as she loves to take care of baby and tells to do lots of things we say yes yes ( which right now we don’t follow as we live in USA) I appreciate but I would like to take care of my baby. I know for some of you its not big deal.

I don’t have good relation with husband’s family but now I want some change in that.

i don' t know how to re-solve my relation with in-laws and family and also don' t want them to think that \" i love them\" you know what i mean... i want good relation but not that good so they have misunderstandings.....

the problem is if they comes all issues starts again….. I am kind of stresed out to think about they staying with us…… but still I want them to visit 2-3 month and stay with us. ( my hus is very busy he hardly stays home ) so its difficult to entertain in-laws and stay alone with them i stayed first time. So how to minimize there visit and make it short ( as they want to stay here 6-8 months)

After few year we may do there GC so they can come –stay ...I don’t want them to stay here for ever….. what should I do …. how to convince my husband too I am thinking for second baby what should I do as I want my mom to visit again.

Its long mail but Please advice me what should I do? ( I want you to understand the situation)

thank you in advance. sss replied. Dear Anna,
i read your whole mail and i see that you want others to behave exactly as you want.though your thoughts are not wrong,you cannot make it practical.people are not robots to behave exactly the way you want them to.adjustment is to be from all sides.i too make the same mistake of expecting others to do things according to me.so dont take this as a personal criticism.
sss