Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi
we both r very happily married couple. there is full support of my hubby for me.
we were living alone after marriage for couple of years.bt we both knew that after the retirement my in laws would b shifting to our place.but it took almost 2 and a half years for them to come here.
i shared a very good relationship with my mil till 5 months of my marriage.once she came over to my place for 1 month and she started sleeping with us i tolerated it.inspite of having 2 more rooms she continued sleeping with us just for the A.C
i did not say anything but it made both of us irritatd becoz all the relation between him and me was finished.she even objected on our sleeping in another room.this led to regular fights between me and my hubby.my hubby is very nderstanding bt he was feeling helpless.
after that she went back bt my relation with her worsened.inspite of that i used to rang her up everday as when ever i did nt call she created a huge issue.
this continued till last month.they dont value their son and me bt r overprotected abt their daughter due to this my hubby is also very pset with their behavior.
now they have shifted th my place but its very difficult to adjust with them. i am pregnant but then also she expects me to do all the work.every other ther r saying some bad words to their son which i cant tolerate my hubby is very down to earth and a simple man.he tries to do everthing for them bt they dont understand.
i dont know what to do. i am worried that this will affect my baby which is de next month
plz help me
sorry for writing so long.
gia
gia replied. hi thanx for ur concern.
i am trying to ignore but then also she is intolerable.
namita. i cant go to my parents house as thet live far and i cant travel at this stage.
ignorance is the the best method but what to do sometimes it get out of our control.she never praises my efforts but is always there to criticise.
i dont know y they shifted here at this stage of my pregnancy when there should b no stress.when i work in the kitchen she always interferes but when i dont she complains that i am sitting in my room.i dont know wht to do. she appreciates the worst food cooked by her daughter but always criticises mine.y she dont understand that i am due and no stress should b given.
but i am trying to ignore her now.
lol
gia Namita replied. i undrstnd how it feels when IL behave differently with there own children (like protective abt daughter n selfish in terms of son) ... myself going thru same, my IL' s infact do this with food, they keep aside few eatable that they get n give it to daughter n when son asks they straight away say we have not got anything ... he have pointed out but they are always ready to fight ... so we have started ignoring ... from beginig itself when i came to know abt their nature i have kept distane .. i told my hubby i cant b goodie goodie just of sake of it ... they dnt deserve ...

y didnt u go at ur parents place as soon as they wer with u ... as u r pregnant n during this time u r suppose to go ... working is the best option to ignore this issues otherwise life becomes miserable ....

from now itself u stop doing things slowly .. tell her u r tired .. if she complains, let her, bt u dnt do anything slowly she vl get involved ... after delivery keep urself busy with baby only n only she vl do things, ofcourse she vl crib a lot bt can always ignore ... can ignore her taunts when u really dnt do any work but to listen to those taunts without our fault is not possible ... so better start working or frm next mnth b very very busy with baby

if she wants ask her to search n keep a maid ... dnt involve in anything .. i always felt bad and use to help my MIL in every work bt very smartly this lady ended up dumpin everything on me n top of tht complains ... rediculous people

right you can just ignore her .. n think abt baby ... dnt ever spoil ur relation with husband bcoz IL are just waiting for one single change to create such misunderstnding .... they vl never help u to solve any prob. bet u n ur husband .. so never complain him abt his parents, husband also knows what they are , but they are really helpless (i dnt undrstnd y) .. they dnt say much or at times nothing ... at times shout at us so tht their parents feel good

last but not least ... never spoil ur realtion with husband bcoz he is the only one who will support u ... n once u start complaining to him, very soon he vl start believing his parents .. better talk less abt his parents, if you wnt inform him things happened, which hurts u, after a week

right now relax and good luck for healthy delivery Gauri replied. Hello!

i am sorry but i don' t have to say about the problem you are facing as of right now. I was wondering how do i post a topic in the message boards? Every time i try to, it says i am not logged in and i need to register. It does not make any sense to me cause i am registered. kk replied. If you do not know the art of ignoring, start learning it now and keep doing it all the time. There are 2 things - either take up a job and try to stay away from them as long as possible - after your delivery you can continue your job if your inlaws would take care of the baby. Else if you are planning to take care of the baby, just just ignore her. yes.. it will affect your yet-to-be-born-baby if you are not happy at this time. so just do what is possible for you and take rest, read good books, listen to music, watch good things, go for long walks, go to nearby park, go to friend' s places, talk to your parents/friends and stay happy. keep away from them, and the time you have to be at home, either keep working on something or go to sleep. if you are just married, it takes time to understand and get used to all this. but ppl in this forum must hv been doing this for quite sometime. Dont worry about anything - you are living for ppl who love you - not for ppl who don' t care for you. All the best !