Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Name: Arch

Hi Friends,
I am married for 3.5 yrs and now 3 months pregnant. My husband is a very nice person when he is away from family, but when his family is around him, I dont know what happens to him, he takes me for granted and he gets influenced very easily with them. I know this was true earlier also but I thought that because of my pregnancy he might get changed. There are very small-2 things, I cant underrstand how he can forget. Currently his brother (who was married for a yr but his wife got expired, they were also having the same problems) and his sister is staying with us. His sister is very much pampered and very much possessive about his brother. She cant see both of us happy. These days I am going through very much stress , although doctor has advised me to be happy, peaceful and calm for the benefit for my baby. But as soon as I enter the house, I get tensed and whenever I feel the presence of my SIL' s around me, I just cant keep my peace of mind. I had gone through lots of suffering and pain in my marriage, and I am not able to forgive her. My husband keeps on pushing me to have a good relationship with her, I tried at times but that never got succeded. When she is away I always think that let me leave the past and have good relationship with her but as soon as she is in front of me , I forget all things and all my old feelings come back. The situation is that my whole body chemistry changes whenever I feel a presence of her and the irony is that we are living under one roof.

My husband also doesnt understand certain things, I really cant understand how I can make him understand. He is on the same tune from the last 4 years that my family is very nice, you should adjust with everyone. He only belives in giving but unfortuantely, I dont. I want things for myself too. I am a human being and want to live a humanly life. He never asks me for going out for dinner or shopping. We always go with everybody, and there also he never asks me to buy anything for me and if I get something for myself, he make me feel guilty like anything irrespective of the fact that I am working and earning a handsome money. I am really frustrated and worried what should I do, especially in the situation when I know that it is impacting my baby.

Certain things which I never understand about his behaviour.

1) Doctor has specifically asked me not to have junk food (pizza, burger etc), one day my brother was here and his brother & sis were making plans for the pizza, he couldnt have said, that doctor has advised her not to have pizza. lets go somewhere.

2) From the last 6 months it is happening that all of them do breakfast together. not a single time he said, u guys carry on I will have with my wife. They left me and carry on with their offices.

I feel I am an unwanted element in their lives, sometime I really think that I should run away from here and get somewhere where I dont need to deal with all these politics. but then I make myself understand maybe with time things will get better.

I am very much tensed and stressed out , I really cant understand what to do. Moreover I have one more life with me, I want that my baby should be fun loving kid. Please suggest me how I can be happy in this situations.

Thanks a lot in advance,
-Archna

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