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Role of in-laws:DIL is Daughter-like??

2008-05-20

Name: vv Friends..
No matter... how well you take care of your inlaws, how much you spend on them, how much you let your hubb spend on them, how much you take care of them when your hubb is out touring, how many times you take your MIL along with you to the beauty parlour, how often your praise them for taking care of kids while you are out working (for you are working only becos your hubb has to support FULLY for their maintenance also)... all these with no words out of your mouth... can any DIL in any family be daughter-like to them? In laws always seem to be ungratefu !! I sometimes think.. will I be a good MIL tomorrow? Share your thoughts pls..

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2008-05-28

Name: pritee
Subject:

DILS are Daughter-like

hi w,

i tell u .... will i get a DIL like u ??? u seem to be too-good-to-be-true DIL.

any luck ? is ur MIL talking to u now ? wats the reason ? hope u r being heartless this time ....

tc
pritee

2008-06-10

Name: vv
Subject:

Yes.. started talking

yes pritee.. started talking.. but this time i was keeping a long face for more time actually. just to make her realize how it feels. then my hubb went out of country. in order to make arrangements for this, she had to talk to me.

actually i m being nice, not coz i want to be like that, but coz i hate problems around me.. i hate not talking to ppl.. i can´ t concentrate on work if i am preoccupied with family issues. but yes, i shd start being heartless.

now i am planning for the second child. dont know how i ll bring up both of them with a compulsion to work for a few more years. life is tuff..

2008-05-26

Name: anamika
Subject:

That´ s so very true.........

Hi w,
at times i think our whole society is on the wrong side when treating girls/women as second class citizens. years have passed by butthe approach towards women remains the same in the core. and add to that MIL n SIL being a woman herself turns out 2b d greatest enemy. n there r so many ironic situations perceived so differently to the same code of action for DIL n SIL.
If a DIl doesn' t speak much (unintentionally, with no hard feelings) to her In-Laws n their extended relatives she is termed a \" SNOB\" ,\" Ghamandi\" but if the Son-In law of the same family doesn' t speak much he is proudly termed as \" a man of few words\" ......

When MIL' s own daughter goes on tour to different cities n places, her husband is praised for keeping her( MIL' s) daughter happy n she takes pride in saying it to all relatives n whole mohallah....But when DIl n son does the same criticism arises...\" u have forgotten ur own parents' , \" shaadi se pehle to aise nahin the\" ...so on n so forth...

DIl' s jwellery r for comparision n worth keeping under control....but wen dear daughter gets the same from Son-in Law that' s again a situation to rejoice....

Dear Daughter n call her mom every day n gossip n share everything that' s happeninng in her life n in her inlaws place...but poor DIL cannot say anything to her parents.....her parents r outsiders n shudn' t anything of her household...

Dear daughter can come n stay with her parents for days...but poor DIL cannot go to watch movies or jus freak out with bubb dear....she is actualyy depriving MIL of enjoyment!

Point is the SAME WOMAN- Mother to her dear daughter n MIL to her DIL reacts differently in the indentical situations... THE LIST IS ENDLESS!.............

2008-06-10

Name: vv
Subject:

very true !

Very true Anamika. All that you have told is so heart-felt. Though i dont hv a SIL to compare against, i can empathize..

2008-05-20

Name: pritee
Subject:

DILS are Daughter-like ALWAYS

hi w,

i hate to agree but DILS are always Daughter-like, no matter watever we do. its always LESS.

try so hard to please them & yet FAIL. maybe thats why its called \" in the law\" .

if we did 1/2 of that for our own parents the reaction would be different :(

take care of them, spend on them, take to the beauty parlour, praise them for taking care of kids while you are out working .... or partying

sadly never done that for my mom :( yet she always smiles wen she sees me.... & does so much for me.

BUT wonder why SIL are always SONS ???? that too without any effort.

sadly we are in a MANs world !!!

2008-05-20

Name: vv
Subject:

Yes

Yes i know.. i have only consciously done so much for them..
1) corrected my hubb whenever he was wrong abt them or hesistant to help them emotionally or financially (they know its me behind the scene)
2) infact i remind my hubb on every birthday of his parents, get a gift and make him give it to them
3) my hubb wont even know when his mom is sick.. i take her to the doc and most times, it goes without his notice also
4) inspite of being a working person, i share 40% of the entire day´ s work load by finishing most of them in the morning itself, no matter how tired i am
5) i hv in fact sacrificed the time with my daughter to achieve point#4

man.. yet.. they are so heartless when it comes to giving me anything back in return. they wont say a word out of their mouth too, but since i know more abt them than their own son, i can find that. my MIL is now not talking to me for the past 4 days, i dont know the reason... this is happenening NOT for the first time. This time i want to be heartless too.. i dint try talking to her again and again (like how i used to do). i said enuff is enuff.. and doing everything without talking to her.

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