Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

swati is having a very good husband sandeep whoes love has not changed in 10years.but her in laws are bad enough to create problems in her life which disturbs her relation with her sandeep.but
in every problem he stands beside her to guide and solves the problem intelligently and patiently.
on the other hand ritu is having very good in-laws but her husband is person of own means who is concerned with himself more because of which ritu is favoured more by her in laws in every aspect as they dont like the attitude of there arrogant son .according to me ritu is a great sufferer than swati as husband is important than in laws.want to know your views?
shefali kanta replied. swati is much much more blessed than ritu anyday. Namita replied. i agree with you, if husband is supportive any women can swallow the pains from her IL' s ... bt it can never be vice-versa Tanu replied. Shefali,

I agree with you completely on this being an example of Ritu myself. My husband was an abusive, arrogant, alcoholic, controlling, self-centered, selfish, spine-less etc. etc. man. My in-laws were very nice to me. I had father like father-in-law, a loving devar, a respectful jeth and a friends like jethani. My jeth-jethani’s kids loved me more than their own chachu. My mil was alright too although we had a few minor conflicts here and there. Overall I maintained an average relation with her. Whenever there were issues between me and my husband, they all agreed to me and supported me including mil. I had an impression that they will support me if I had to take a stand especially because they appeared to whole-heartedly support me and sympathies with me when ever there were issues because of my husband’s abusive nature or because of him being an alcoholic.

Well, it came to me as a shock when they all changed their faces and talks when I decided to take a stand against their son. I was confident that they will abandon their son and will maintain relation with me like a daughter to the family. Life had become a living hell for me with their son. After giving 7 years to my marriage, I decided to leave their son.

Once favorite daughter-in-law of the family had become a bad person over-night and they all (whom I considered my own family) started talking bad about me to their family and friends. It bothered me a lot in the beginning and I approached them to tell them about how I felt. They sympathized with me on my face and asked for forgiveness with tears in their eyes but went back to continue talking bad about me to give their son a clean exit. Now I have realized that my expectations from my in-laws were unusual. They couldn’t desert their son because they couldn’t afford to ruin their reputation in so-called society. I have now no expectations from them anymore. I only wish good to them and will continue to do that for the rest of my life. At the same time I am hurt because of their behavior and will never trust them ever again in my life.

Well, moral of my story is that having good in-laws means nothing to you. If you decide to stand against their bad son they will not support you. You have no win situation here: either you spend rest of your life crying while staying with a bad husband and receiving sympathies of good in-laws or you stand against their son and loose them too.

I would have any day traded my life with Swati.

Tanu