Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

This is a strange problem and I' m seeking solution for this from you friends.

My hubby is more of social person. He is very emapathetic to others problems. He goes overborad in helping others and I feel he neglects his own family. I' m working woman with 2 year old baby.His helping others is becoming nuisance to us. Now he has a close cousin(who is married and having 2 kids) who got a job in NJ, moved to our house from Virginia. Initially she said 2 months, now without even asking us anything she is cooly saying it is extended to 6 months. I feel like that she is taking advantage of us being nice. I told my hubby that 2 months is all she can stay and not more than that and he refuses to listen and gets very angry and yesterday he almost hit me for talking regarding that and also told that if I tell anything to her then we will not be staying together. For some third person he is behaving so rudley to me. We both have IT jobs and have busy schedule and weekends we get to spend time with my family and that I' m missing.Earlier also there were situation where in he wanted to bring couple of his cousins to our house and support them but that time also I strongly opposed as I was pregnent that time. Also, if someone loses job he will sit and train them hrs together during weekends. After all week work I have no peace during weekends. We have a townhouse and I wanted to setup the room for my 2 year old daughter and I cannot do that as this cousin of his is staying in that room. Please let me know your opinions what should I tackle this situtation.

M replied. It' s too late for you to talk to your husband on this topic now. But once your sis-in-law moves out, start talking to your hubby. You can tell him whatever you feel (you are getting away from each other because of a third person......who is more important in his life? etc).
Some people are addicted to get a good name from others. Your hubby seems to be such person.

For your sis-in-law you yourself can start looking for a house and give all possible hints that you would like her to move out. Dont make it too obvious in front of your husband. If you feel that she is taking advantage of you, do the following things.....Make her pay for certain things (ask her to pay for groceries), cook whatever she dislikes, turn off the heater when she goes to take bath, throw water on her bed and tell her that your daughter did it, make her lose her freedom in your house. Hopefully she herself will get out of the house. Fortunately I have not gone through such situation. I have never given such advice to anyone. To tell you the truth I' m feeling ashamed of giving such advice to you. So be prepared to feel guilty after doing all these things!
sss replied. hi dear,
sorry,i have no advice for you.i am in a similar situation.married for 3 yrs and have a 2 yr old baby.my bil is staying with us for the past 21/2 yrs.we adjusted well.but now he is marrying shortly.initially he thought of separate accomodation and now he has cancelled the plan and is continuing to stay with us.though i have no issues with him,i am not very happy about this.what if i cant adjust with that girl?what about our freedom?now its another family staying with us where as earlier it was more easy to adjust as he was single then.my hubby is very supportive of his staying with us and dont want to hear anything from my side.my hubby is a very nice person and i know he cannot be rude to his brother.but i think it was my bil' s duty to opt for a separate accomodation rather than depending on us.i have no choice but to adjust with them.