Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
i have been married since 3 yrs now. i live in US and also married here in US with an indian boy. it was arrange marriage. after marriage, we all(MIL-FIL AND SIL)and me and my husband live together. my MIL and FIL visited here after we got engaged and they came for marriage and their green card and also for their daughter to get married as she liked one boy.but somehow that boys parents didn't like my SIL and they don't want their son to get married with her. so they broke engagement. My SIL is in US since last 5 yrs and her attitude is like mean to me. in the begnning after we got married, if we all had dinner together and if my husband force me for anything. she won't like it as she was feeling jealous. whenever something happens, she talked to my husband only as she was never counting me as a part of family and i was very polite with her and believe her as my younger sister. but day by day, she felt jealous of me and had fight with her brother a lot. as she was keep contacting that boy which thing my husband don't like. cause his parents won't her to be a daughter in law. and then one day she had big fight with my husband and she left home and stay out in her car whole night. my MIL was worried about her and then next day when she came back for her clothes to pick up, my MIL said to her that i will also come with you and fight started from that day. my FIL is having stable nature but they were telling wrong things to my FIL about us(me and my husband) and he also turned rude to us. then we were not talking to eachtother for 3-4 mths and after that they had to go to india back. we decided to move to other state as i didn't have anybody to support me other than my husband. we moved to the same state where my brother lives. we bought house here. my SIL does not want to stay with us as she does not want to leave that boy. so she stayed by herself. my MIL and FIL came back from india and stayed with us. they were in worry about their daughter as she was not looking for other boy and just wanted to stick with that boy. my in-laws were taking her side everytime when we have an argument. My MIL and SIL never helped me in cooking and cleaning at home. so, i was also feeling frustrated. my husband and my FIL are not get along with eachother since today so, my FIL keep speaking bad word about my husband in front of me which was impossible for me to hear. me and my FIL get along with each other nicely but my MIL keep telling him that he is taking my side always and they had fight because of me which i never wanted. i was taking good care of both of them and also want my SIL to get settled in her life but they never understand me. i was having hard time to get pregnant and then last year i got pregnant with twin boys and we declaired this good news to everybody in family. i want my parents to be with me at the time of delivery but his parents are coming back and forth every six months so, i told my husband that i want my parents this year to be with me for 6 months around the time of delivery so that i can be relaxed and my mom can handle kids and me. he was agreed and he told my FIL and he feels bad about it. we told them that this time when they come from india, they can stay with their daughter so, she also not felt alone and they can watch her activities and try to understand her to get married and settled in her life. and my parents will stay with us for sometime. but he didn't like it and started arugment with us. which i felt so bad. so, i got angry and so do my husband. i told him that since now i have taken very good care of all of you and now when i need my parents to take care of me, you are not able to understand eventhough you knew that MIL is not not helping at all. and i also told them that you both are living with us and taking side of your daughter eventhough you both knew very well that she is wrong and spoiled and have no sense about any relationship. my husband was so mad on him as they were not talking to eachother since long as my FIL keep blaming on my husband that you had spoiled my daughter's life and you had taken money from me and etc...which my husband said wrong. i knew that he had done so many things to get his family settled and his sister get married. but his sister just wanted to get married with that boy only which we all knew that it won't be possible and eventhough it will happen, she never lives her life happily. so, my husband was so angry on my FIL and he was even ready to raise his hand against him as my FIL were keep blaming on him about his character and his spoiled daughter. and after all that he went to india and at that time my MIl was in india too and i was pregnant. they came this year in march and stayed with their daughter as she rent an apartment. now my problem is, this year we want to go to india but the quest. is where do we live as i don't want to go to his house at all and my husband is saying that we have to fulfil our duty and go to their house and if they start something, we would move to other's house as he is saying that after long time he is going to country back and if he will live to other's house, how it will effect to relatives? i also understand but i don't want to go to his parent's house with my kids as they haven't come to my babyshower and not even called me after the birth of my twin boys.

pl. advise what should i do? i do have to go with my husband at his parents house with kids when i go to india.

Thanks for listening my long story and have patience. dil replied. As long as you have your husband's support and care, why bother about your spoilt SIL or FIL and MIL. I think your husband knows what is right. You need to concentrate on your husband and kids more. Go to your ILs place just for the heck of it. Your ILs already might be having a problem dealing with your SIL, and hence might be showing extra care towards her. Better ignore them and let them handle their daughter.