Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi All,
I am also also addition to all the women here in this post.
My story is like Iam a software professional with a 2 year old child.Intailly my mom was looking after the kid when i was off at work
But unlike others my mom is also bit childish and immature and due this she had some issues with my hubby.
My hubby is deeply... attached to his parents.My realtion before were good as they staying separate.last year his father passed away all of sudden in an accident and then u can imagine the situation how he must be feeling.my sister law has reached college there is lot of age gap between them
now mom inlaw has come here to stay with me.But i always preferred my mom to take care of my kid.
Due to constant chikchikkkk at home i have now taken a break form work.
I desperately wanted to go abroad but now since hubby has got so much of responsibilites we cannot go.
My mom inlaw is ok but she plays her own tricks by being very sweet.
I dont like sight of her at my house as i feel privacy is lost and cannot bear the attention my hubby gives to her and his sister.
I dont know how other educated girls who r independant can stay with the inlaws in one small house.
I know it is my own problem as hatred is also one ailment but i dont just like her may bcoz we now have been loaded with responsibiities on us and we cannot go abroad.Sometimes i thought of separation as we have child that is not feasible so i think thats punishment from GOD to me...
Please respond Chandra replied. Its a rotten feeling that you have. You feel like ur husband is being taken away, his attention has divided between you and his mother and sister.

But remember this, what Ritika said, ur mil has just lost her husband. Not that is would have been ' better' if he was ill, but his death was a sudden thing. Probably a very big shock to everyone in the family.

Having a sister, unmarried i suppose, with now only her brother as the man in her life, it isnt easy. I am very close with my dad, and even now, being married, going to have my own baby soon, I don' t know what I would do if somethign was to happen to him.

This is your time to shine. It' s your time to rise above the hate and jealousy that we girls feel when we ' think' our husband isnt paying attention to us, not loving us the way we want. I assure you, your husband will love you MORE when you show him how well you will take care of his family. Yes, you are his family too, but remember, he has many responsibilites now. Going abroad, moving away from your mil and sil, wouldnt be a good idea at this point. Have things settle a bit. Help them out, make them feel content, happy, comfortable in your home. By being a good person now, the person you should be, you will reap the benefits, gain more attention from your husband when you show him how much you love him...and right now, the way to do that is by helping them grieve. Ritika replied. ok. One suggestion - get a bigger house since there are more people in your family now...

Second - about going abroad...maybe try in aanother year or so..till then the grief of losing your FIL would have lessened a bit in everybody' s heart...

If your MIL and SIL' s behavior otherwise is ok towards you, then try to change your attitude a little bit. Your MIL has just lost her husband of so many years in a blink. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you out of the blue (god forbid)?? Wouldn' t you feel lost and want to be with your loved ones??

You can go abroad a year later also...but the ill will that you are creating at home will remain with everybody all their lives.

We show our character in our behavior towards others in their times of need. So try to be a better and bigger person right now.

I don' t think going abroad would have been a priority for me if my dad had died and my mom and sister had needed my presence. Try to put yourself in your husband' s shoes...and your MIL' s. You say she is being tricky by being too sweet!! Are you sure, you are not just imagining things?