Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Name: sonu

sorry A,
let me be frank! In some angles, I could see from ur brother' s wife angle.

Manycases, daughter feel mom is entirely perfect and problem is from brothe' s wife in any saas-bahu story. Because daughter can see to one angle that her mother shows up. Until that, there lies no problem. But If son believes mother is good eough from her part and wife is wrong ...then absolutely there must be a problem to any wife.

So, U must have read many posts related to saas-bahu /hubby-wife problms ...and If u think from her view , u can even identify her in any of these problems from DIL' s view.

U said, ur brother complains she doenst cook/clean... Even u complained same. Any DIL would try best to take part in kitchen ...and may be she noticed u r undermining her work...so developed inferiority complex and might be in distant to kitchen.
Also, when they r given privacy and own home, she muct have did her best but could have got rejection from ur hubby (u said he is short tempered and toomuch attached to u). Also, u mentioned ur mom and bro talk more than ur bro&Sil , Its quite nasty situation for any girl in joint family...Read out many problems posted in this view.
Also, she complained...he only play with child and not her..??? what does it mean??? He is not intrested in her...He is only attached to his own blood.
Though u and ur mom were not directly involved in their tiff, she must have have felt ur talks in every of her hubby' s words. He is more attached to all than to her. This is unbearable to any girl.

Sorry, Iam not saying u and ur mom must have created problems.But ur bro involved both of u. I feel, ...problem lies in even him....not only her. So, both of them should consult marriage councellor.

Sorry A, If I was harsh. ButI experienced tough situations in my earlier days. He was too attached to mom and sis..so used to take their words as standards to evaluate my work/my existence.He was always keen what thye might be thinking of me.
my SIl being very innocent of her mom acts .MIL is pocessive and obcessive. As a daughter she doesnt feel her acts ODD but I see them. If they do something annoying ,I tried hard ignoring...But when they interfered my life totally thru him...I fought with him to get my way. They never said me anything in front of me...but said alot to him against me and parents .He used to repeat them in expressing his dissaatisfaction at me...They treat him as their son/brother but never as married man with his own family.They always try to show up attachment.

After 4.5yrs of marriage, he could see my side...and he could understand his wife and got point y I' m saying not to listen them or take their opinions on me or parents.I was in other countries ,still they monitored his thoughts .So, even this might not have happned in her life..so, went distant. If any person verbally abusive to wife and talking pyara pyara to mommy...how can she develop anthing for him???

So A, try to see it in total different version. I see my close aunty telling about her DIL and how she suffer. Even her DIL say me things in her absence.
so ,I know how my aunty mistakens herself thinking she did evrything to DIL though DIL is not worth for it..



Anyways, A, I appreciate ur efforts to unite them. That is really nice to see u working out to find cause. But u can do only one thing...being less attached to hubby so that he can unite her. U complained ..\" she is living happy with her parents and if they wouldnt have supported her, she must have been with ur brother\" . I too say the same...U dont give ur brother that kinda support..soon, he' ll be realising he need her too.Try for it.All the best!

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