I was reading your reply to suhani and felt your sadness.
Do write to us when u r dpressed as venting out your feeling will give u relief. and also some of the suggestions given by people here gives us insight into our problem & we can think of better solutins for them.
I am also repeating my last reply to your post ' help me' few days back. so let' s pick up from there & tell us about reasons of your dpression.
Name: Namita
Subject: thank you
Date: 2007-11-30
gg,
fine, i hve written for u in one msg. tht dnt invite her if u r not comfortable we are happy with each other.
To all,
i have told my hubby to live this house .. the other house which thy told us to go is also in their name ... so it is all in their hand if they allow us to live their and on top of tht the other house they hve given on rent ... i dnt think they vl cancell the agreement for us .... i feel like going to some other place on rent if they dont give ... bt doubt if my hubby agrees ... n money is also a concern, as my hubby say tht still after leaving from here he will give them money so it will be a very financially tight situatin for us .... pls pray for me tht they themselve allow us to go ... i m fed up ... i come home with a fright and tension .... God should do something ... i m very jovial perso and confident bt all this IL' s prob. i m not able to handle ... i m broken now .. evn in office people ask me if i m not well, they say it looks as if i have lots of strain ... pls. pray for me ... thts y i said that gg u r gr8 as i m nt at all able to handle more stress .. i thank u all for sharing my feelings, i thank this board
Name: Dd
Subject: hi
Date: 2007-12-01
Hi,
I am glad to know that u have made that decision to move out.
I am again adivcing u not to go and live in their apartment as they will consider as an obligation they r doing to u. so rent a place. take a place where it is convinient for u both to go to work that way u can reduce travel expense to work. You can not stop him from giving money at home but can control the amount. initial few months u will have to strugle to manage but afterwards with experience u can make him understand how much money u need to keep for yourself & how much he can give it to them. when u will move out, u will have piece of mind & u will have lot of extra time & energy bcs of less mental sress. so u will be able to think about better solutions to improve your finanacial situation.
Subscribe to this conversation
Reply Anonymously
I was reading your reply to suhani and felt your sadness.
Do write to us when u r dpressed as venting out your feeling will give u relief. and also some of the suggestions given by people here gives us insight into our problem & we can think of better solutins for them.
I am also repeating my last reply to your post ' help me' few days back. so let' s pick up from there & tell us about reasons of your dpression.
Name: Namita
Subject: thank you
Date: 2007-11-30
gg,
fine, i hve written for u in one msg. tht dnt invite her if u r not comfortable we are happy with each other.
To all,
i have told my hubby to live this house .. the other house which thy told us to go is also in their name ... so it is all in their hand if they allow us to live their and on top of tht the other house they hve given on rent ... i dnt think they vl cancell the agreement for us .... i feel like going to some other place on rent if they dont give ... bt doubt if my hubby agrees ... n money is also a concern, as my hubby say tht still after leaving from here he will give them money so it will be a very financially tight situatin for us .... pls pray for me tht they themselve allow us to go ... i m fed up ... i come home with a fright and tension .... God should do something ... i m very jovial perso and confident bt all this IL' s prob. i m not able to handle ... i m broken now .. evn in office people ask me if i m not well, they say it looks as if i have lots of strain ... pls. pray for me ... thts y i said that gg u r gr8 as i m nt at all able to handle more stress .. i thank u all for sharing my feelings, i thank this board
Name: Dd
Subject: hi
Date: 2007-12-01
Hi,
I am glad to know that u have made that decision to move out.
I am again adivcing u not to go and live in their apartment as they will consider as an obligation they r doing to u. so rent a place. take a place where it is convinient for u both to go to work that way u can reduce travel expense to work. You can not stop him from giving money at home but can control the amount. initial few months u will have to strugle to manage but afterwards with experience u can make him understand how much money u need to keep for yourself & how much he can give it to them. when u will move out, u will have piece of mind & u will have lot of extra time & energy bcs of less mental sress. so u will be able to think about better solutions to improve your finanacial situation.
Sr replied. Why do all MILs become lazy once a DIL comes into the house?
Namita replied. hi friends, wht type of ladies are they? nyways .. we cant sit and think abt. them all the time ... lets go on with our life
abt. staying seperate, we have already decided but still to get a place in our budget ... once it is finalised v vl move out .. rt. now praying for such place ... hope we get soon ... bcoz it is very very difficult to stay with this people
even now i m writing from home .. bcoz in office in evening wheni tried opening this link it didnt get opend .. now when i m on my PC she is at kitchen ... bt since 6 when i got up, i made tiffin, cleaning floor, swepping, washing utencils, till then where was she ... now again i have to pretend to do some work ... now i vl take 1/2 hr for ironing my cloths for office :) .... i hate to live such life ... n i dnt want to help her bcoz as Swapna said my MIL will ask me to cut veg., grate coconut, put the vessel on stove and oil in that ... then wht is left for her? only puting masala and ready made things in that .. n after this she vl boost that she have done all and like Swapna' s Mil she vll ask her son how was the food, she was tired making that
IRRRRRRRIIIITAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIINGGGGG!!!!! I JUST HATE ... so better i spend time making my things for hrs.
Namita replied. The whole and sole prob. for me is that my MIL only and only wants to pretend that she is busy doing household chores the whole day n her Dil thats me dnt have much work ... n ofcourse my husabnd knows abt. it, i think even my FIL may b knowing that she pretends to do .... actually speaking we dont have so much of work at home... she only have to cook food .. we keep the same food for dinner .... cleaning is done by me in the morning ... in evenignn after i reach home everthing is done my me, we dont have maid
now in the morning till 10 she is readin newspaper ... that means she is working from 10 - max 3 .... by 1 she finishes cooking, she have to , as her husband wants food by 1 -1.30 then for cleaning utensils of just 2 of them it takes her 2 hrs.... then she is free .. she sleeps in afternoon ... then no work at all ... when i m back from office she is watching TV(she put TV on only when her husband leave i.e. by 6.00 otherwise she vl sit and fold newspaper, fold cloths for hours... then her watching TV goes on till 11 in night ... after i come home whtever have to b done i do it ... rice, roti, washing utensils of evenign tea and then of dinner n if anything else
bt even then she vl crib n crib that she is busy whole day ... the prob. is she wants to show her husabnd tht she never sits ideal (this is cheating) ... even yest. she was laying down in the evening while i was making roti ... as soon as her husabnd opened door with keys she got up and pretended as if she was doing some work... even when her husabnd or my husabnd knocks or opens door with keys, she n her daughter vl switch of the TV with remote and duather will start studying n she vl do something ... to show that she is working
now the prob. is .... i cant do such time pass ... she can take 2 hrs. to clean Rs. 2 corriender leaves .... they are expert in doing this ... i hate to do all this show off, so i finsih my work fast n sit for net surfing or reading books .... here she gets jeolous i think, bcoz she never got to sit ideal as her husannd was alwys dominating .... he taunts when she is reading newspaper or watchng TV ... so she pretends n now after so many years it has become habbit for her
initially i tried to b good with her .. i helped her to do wht she wants, like i use to support her if she wants to watch TV or do anythign .. bt this lady smartly use to tell her husband in front of me \" i dont know who have put on the TV, i dont like watching i have lots of work, i m not sitting ideal\" after few months with few experiences i understood all her dramas and kept distance with her ... as it is i hate to watch all those saas bahu and extra marital affairs serials and movies
bt this behaviour was never at my home ... we never cheated my dad .. i even told my husband that ur mother does this n he was not shocked, he accepted n said she have that habbit since begining .. bt for him it was ok .. i told him clearly that i cant b like her, pretending thru out the day ... if i start cheating on u, it vl b difficult for u and there will b no meaning to our realtion ... he agreed
wht she does is everytime whenever i sit with my husabnd or when i finsih my work and sit she will get up and start doing something new .... jsut to show tht she is doing n i m siting ... even in the evening when i use to reach home early ... (i can reach home by 6.15 - 6.30 bt i purposely reach late now ) ... that time she use to purposely start some work as soon as i enter home ... like making ladoos, masala or cleaning cupboard or clening vegetables n when she starts this at 6.30 she can go on wiht the same core till 9.00 just to show that she is working .... for folding the washed clothes how muc time u take ? max. 1/2 hr. bt she can spend 3 hrs for that ... n then even if i m helping she vl crib that since mornig she is working .. she dnt get rest ... she is tired etc.etc. ... I DONT UDNERSNTND THEN WHO SLEEPS IN AFTERNOON, MY MOTHER!!!!!! ..... so to avoid her i reach office by 7.00 - 7.30 .. 1/2 hr. i spend in my prayers ... then i start making roti and rice ... now even i have to follow her behaviour, as i try to stretch this work till 9.00 till her husband comes home(he is retired bt goes out everyday) .... so tht she shud not tell him that she ws working n i m sitting ideal .. my husband knows everything
this is the major issue she have .... n this is the reason y she never allows anyone to say good abt. my food .. she wants my husabnd to hit me, abuse me ... she wants to take control of my money ... that is the reason she was provoking my husband in last fight that \" ASK HER TO LEAVE HER JOB, THIS LADY WILL LEAVE U BUT NOT HER JOB\" .. she tries her best to create differences bet us ... this is not new bcoz she is expert in breaking relations
then since begining they hve made difference in everything bet. her daughter n me ... even when they use get something to eat in the evening then they use to get it for themselves jus 3 of them my MIL, FIL and SIL ... n eat in front of me bt never asked me ... there are lots such things which have hurted me so i try to reach late in evening to avoid them .. she have prob. even with my going late home i.e. 7.00 p.m
she have major prob. that her son is good with me .... she had no complains about me in my early married life as my DH use to abuse me a lot we had lots of fights, my life was miserable ... her cribbing had made him believe everything she pretends to exist ... like she is doing more work, i m not able to cook, i dnt get up early whereas i get up at 6.00 a.m et.c etc. ... then one day i told him, wht his mother is doing .. then i told him to keep a close watch n then open mouth ... after that he understood, she spends time unncesarrily and then cribs
she is very smart in poisioning relations ... just bato bato mai bol deti hai, magar aisa bolti hai aur aise time pe bolti hai ki samne wala uski chungul mai aata hai .... now she is frustrated bcoz she cant feed bad things abt me to her son .. she knows that he tells me everything and listens to me more ... she once told him that u have become henpecked why do u give so much importance to ur wife, dont tell her anything ... when i was not well she told me to go at my mothers place as here we have work to do, no time to take rest, if u want to take rest go at ur home ... i vl never forget this .. .. wht does she mean, i m here to work .. y cant she provide me comfort when i m unwell, i m not her maid
recently i told my husband, \" i get scared bocz her constant taunts and talks will change u again and i dont have strength to face wht i had faced earlier and bring u to this stage back\" he said \" have i changed after that, have i ever hurt u\" but i told him \" that is bcoz they dont directly feed u things bcoz they know u vl ans. back, but once u start listioning to them, everything can turn worst\" . although he promised me but my MIL, FIL and SIL are very cunning and miser(even though they are financially stable muc more than us)
my MIL had also created differences bet. all uncles like my FIL' s brother have never come to our home ... she have maintained good realtions only and only with her brothers and sister ... my husabnd use to hate his uncles(FIL' s brothers and their wifes) bcoz my MIL have poisioned so many things abt. them and my FIL use to do the same so that everyone in village and here (other realtives) shud praise this people n not the other uncles ... bt after my marriage i told my husabnd not to spoil his relations with uncle ... i showed him that how his parents are using him ... they use to say bad things in front of my husabdn and in front of his uncle they use to b nice whereas my husabdn use to burst out all anger in front of everyone .. so my FIL side realtives always felt that my husand is arrogant and bad ... now after marriage when i m good with his auntys i told them y my DH use to behave in such manner n they understood ... now they have very good relation with us .. so my FIL n MIL try' s to visit uncles place to b good otherwise they have always made them felt bad abt their dressing, their things at home etc.(as told to me by my DH aunt)
now his uncle messages my DH for diwali or anniversary ... which my husaband also respects and reciprocate ... DH also feels good to have clean relation with other relatives n he have understood his parents mistake
so this is my story all about complains :) .... still life has to go on ... at times i m hurt with their behaviour... at times i m able to ignore them n b happy with my life
bt. this people are pathetic ... i have given a glimpse of their behaviour their is lot more
anyways i thank all of you to be with each other .. i have prob. opening few links in office .. n at home as soon as i m at my PC she vl start doing work(even if there is nothing, she have newspapers to fold or dusting when there is no dust) so can only write from office in whtever link i can open
Girls i can give u idea to do TP at home jsut to show that u r busy -
Folding Newspaper - Time taken 2 hrs. for 2 sets of newspaper
take newpaper fold it from corner to corner, u have to concentrate take 10-15 min. one fold like this fold all supplements. 1/2 hour is over. Then repeat with another newspaper with supplements another 1/2 hr. Then u vl somehow feel that the 2nd newspaper is folded in better way then 1st one .. so open the 1st newspaper, repeat the process edge to edge, corner to corner shud b joined .... if some one pin points tell him/her that u r perfectionist and u dnt like things to b done in haphazard way .... and another 1 hr. is gone with just 2 newspaper .... i think this eg. gives a better idea abt. my MIL
2007-12-13
#1
Name: Sr Subject: Why????
Why do all MILs become lazy once a DIL comes into the house?
2007-12-12
#2
Name: Namita Subject: same story everywhere
hi friends, wht type of ladies are they? nyways .. we cant sit and think abt. them all the time ... lets go on with our life
abt. staying seperate, we have already decided but still to get a place in our budget ... once it is finalised v vl move out .. rt. now praying for such place ... hope we get soon ... bcoz it is very very difficult to stay with this people
even now i m writing from home .. bcoz in office in evening wheni tried opening this link it didnt get opend .. now when i m on my PC she is at kitchen ... bt since 6 when i got up, i made tiffin, cleaning floor, swepping, washing utencils, till then where was she ... now again i have to pretend to do some work ... now i vl take 1/2 hr for ironing my cloths for office :) .... i hate to live such life ... n i dnt want to help her bcoz as Swapna said my MIL will ask me to cut veg., grate coconut, put the vessel on stove and oil in that ... then wht is left for her? only puting masala and ready made things in that .. n after this she vl boost that she have done all and like Swapna' s Mil she vll ask her son how was the food, she was tired making that
IRRRRRRRIIIITAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIINGGGGG!!!!! I JUST HATE ... so better i spend time making my things for hrs.
2007-12-12
#3
Name: Dd Subject: Hi Namita
its good that u r taking steps in moving out. your story was realy hilarious(lol). soory u have to go thru this in your dailylife. u know what if your mil stays few days with my mil she will go mad. she is axactly apposit of your mil. she is very fast in doing chores & even though i am fastaest in my family(mom, sis, bhabhi) still i am slow for her. but still i can cope up with her & she was not main problem for my moving out anyways.
best of luck for house hunting. just go around in the neoghbourhood where u r trying to rent. just go to few shops, i mean grocery shop or ironing shop or chai ke lari or temple. and talk to people that u r searching for a place. i know it could be hard to talk to starngers like that, but when we left house, i was desparate bcs we were leaving in office tempororily (i had to get ready by 6.30 bcs my dh´ s office starts at 7.00 am & we were eating all the meals from outside.)
so i went into this neighbourhood & talked to few people like this & really got to see some property. but we took it up in another neighbourhood later on. that is not the point
what i am saying is if u talk to locals in that area u will find local agents who do not advertise much but can get u cheaper properties.
2007-12-11
#4
Name: Namita Subject: boring story
The whole and sole prob. for me is that my MIL only and only wants to pretend that she is busy doing household chores the whole day n her Dil thats me dnt have much work ... n ofcourse my husabnd knows abt. it, i think even my FIL may b knowing that she pretends to do .... actually speaking we dont have so much of work at home... she only have to cook food .. we keep the same food for dinner .... cleaning is done by me in the morning ... in evenignn after i reach home everthing is done my me, we dont have maid
now in the morning till 10 she is readin newspaper ... that means she is working from 10 - max 3 .... by 1 she finishes cooking, she have to , as her husband wants food by 1 -1.30 then for cleaning utensils of just 2 of them it takes her 2 hrs.... then she is free .. she sleeps in afternoon ... then no work at all ... when i m back from office she is watching TV(she put TV on only when her husband leave i.e. by 6.00 otherwise she vl sit and fold newspaper, fold cloths for hours... then her watching TV goes on till 11 in night ... after i come home whtever have to b done i do it ... rice, roti, washing utensils of evenign tea and then of dinner n if anything else
bt even then she vl crib n crib that she is busy whole day ... the prob. is she wants to show her husabnd tht she never sits ideal (this is cheating) ... even yest. she was laying down in the evening while i was making roti ... as soon as her husabnd opened door with keys she got up and pretended as if she was doing some work... even when her husabnd or my husabnd knocks or opens door with keys, she n her daughter vl switch of the TV with remote and duather will start studying n she vl do something ... to show that she is working
now the prob. is .... i cant do such time pass ... she can take 2 hrs. to clean Rs. 2 corriender leaves .... they are expert in doing this ... i hate to do all this show off, so i finsih my work fast n sit for net surfing or reading books .... here she gets jeolous i think, bcoz she never got to sit ideal as her husannd was alwys dominating .... he taunts when she is reading newspaper or watchng TV ... so she pretends n now after so many years it has become habbit for her
initially i tried to b good with her .. i helped her to do wht she wants, like i use to support her if she wants to watch TV or do anythign .. bt this lady smartly use to tell her husband in front of me \" i dont know who have put on the TV, i dont like watching i have lots of work, i m not sitting ideal\" after few months with few experiences i understood all her dramas and kept distance with her ... as it is i hate to watch all those saas bahu and extra marital affairs serials and movies
bt this behaviour was never at my home ... we never cheated my dad .. i even told my husband that ur mother does this n he was not shocked, he accepted n said she have that habbit since begining .. bt for him it was ok .. i told him clearly that i cant b like her, pretending thru out the day ... if i start cheating on u, it vl b difficult for u and there will b no meaning to our realtion ... he agreed
wht she does is everytime whenever i sit with my husabnd or when i finsih my work and sit she will get up and start doing something new .... jsut to show tht she is doing n i m siting ... even in the evening when i use to reach home early ... (i can reach home by 6.15 - 6.30 bt i purposely reach late now ) ... that time she use to purposely start some work as soon as i enter home ... like making ladoos, masala or cleaning cupboard or clening vegetables n when she starts this at 6.30 she can go on wiht the same core till 9.00 just to show that she is working .... for folding the washed clothes how muc time u take ? max. 1/2 hr. bt she can spend 3 hrs for that ... n then even if i m helping she vl crib that since mornig she is working .. she dnt get rest ... she is tired etc.etc. ... I DONT UDNERSNTND THEN WHO SLEEPS IN AFTERNOON, MY MOTHER!!!!!! ..... so to avoid her i reach office by 7.00 - 7.30 .. 1/2 hr. i spend in my prayers ... then i start making roti and rice ... now even i have to follow her behaviour, as i try to stretch this work till 9.00 till her husband comes home(he is retired bt goes out everyday) .... so tht she shud not tell him that she ws working n i m sitting ideal .. my husband knows everything
this is the major issue she have .... n this is the reason y she never allows anyone to say good abt. my food .. she wants my husabnd to hit me, abuse me ... she wants to take control of my money ... that is the reason she was provoking my husband in last fight that \" ASK HER TO LEAVE HER JOB, THIS LADY WILL LEAVE U BUT NOT HER JOB\" .. she tries her best to create differences bet us ... this is not new bcoz she is expert in breaking relations
then since begining they hve made difference in everything bet. her daughter n me ... even when they use get something to eat in the evening then they use to get it for themselves jus 3 of them my MIL, FIL and SIL ... n eat in front of me bt never asked me ... there are lots such things which have hurted me so i try to reach late in evening to avoid them .. she have prob. even with my going late home i.e. 7.00 p.m
she have major prob. that her son is good with me .... she had no complains about me in my early married life as my DH use to abuse me a lot we had lots of fights, my life was miserable ... her cribbing had made him believe everything she pretends to exist ... like she is doing more work, i m not able to cook, i dnt get up early whereas i get up at 6.00 a.m et.c etc. ... then one day i told him, wht his mother is doing .. then i told him to keep a close watch n then open mouth ... after that he understood, she spends time unncesarrily and then cribs
she is very smart in poisioning relations ... just bato bato mai bol deti hai, magar aisa bolti hai aur aise time pe bolti hai ki samne wala uski chungul mai aata hai .... now she is frustrated bcoz she cant feed bad things abt me to her son .. she knows that he tells me everything and listens to me more ... she once told him that u have become henpecked why do u give so much importance to ur wife, dont tell her anything ... when i was not well she told me to go at my mothers place as here we have work to do, no time to take rest, if u want to take rest go at ur home ... i vl never forget this .. .. wht does she mean, i m here to work .. y cant she provide me comfort when i m unwell, i m not her maid
recently i told my husband, \" i get scared bocz her constant taunts and talks will change u again and i dont have strength to face wht i had faced earlier and bring u to this stage back\" he said \" have i changed after that, have i ever hurt u\" but i told him \" that is bcoz they dont directly feed u things bcoz they know u vl ans. back, but once u start listioning to them, everything can turn worst\" . although he promised me but my MIL, FIL and SIL are very cunning and miser(even though they are financially stable muc more than us)
my MIL had also created differences bet. all uncles like my FIL' s brother have never come to our home ... she have maintained good realtions only and only with her brothers and sister ... my husabnd use to hate his uncles(FIL' s brothers and their wifes) bcoz my MIL have poisioned so many things abt. them and my FIL use to do the same so that everyone in village and here (other realtives) shud praise this people n not the other uncles ... bt after my marriage i told my husabnd not to spoil his relations with uncle ... i showed him that how his parents are using him ... they use to say bad things in front of my husabdn and in front of his uncle they use to b nice whereas my husabdn use to burst out all anger in front of everyone .. so my FIL side realtives always felt that my husand is arrogant and bad ... now after marriage when i m good with his auntys i told them y my DH use to behave in such manner n they understood ... now they have very good relation with us .. so my FIL n MIL try' s to visit uncles place to b good otherwise they have always made them felt bad abt their dressing, their things at home etc.(as told to me by my DH aunt)
now his uncle messages my DH for diwali or anniversary ... which my husaband also respects and reciprocate ... DH also feels good to have clean relation with other relatives n he have understood his parents mistake
so this is my story all about complains :) .... still life has to go on ... at times i m hurt with their behaviour... at times i m able to ignore them n b happy with my life
bt. this people are pathetic ... i have given a glimpse of their behaviour their is lot more
anyways i thank all of you to be with each other .. i have prob. opening few links in office .. n at home as soon as i m at my PC she vl start doing work(even if there is nothing, she have newspapers to fold or dusting when there is no dust) so can only write from office in whtever link i can open
Girls i can give u idea to do TP at home jsut to show that u r busy -
Folding Newspaper - Time taken 2 hrs. for 2 sets of newspaper
take newpaper fold it from corner to corner, u have to concentrate take 10-15 min. one fold like this fold all supplements. 1/2 hour is over. Then repeat with another newspaper with supplements another 1/2 hr. Then u vl somehow feel that the 2nd newspaper is folded in better way then 1st one .. so open the 1st newspaper, repeat the process edge to edge, corner to corner shud b joined .... if some one pin points tell him/her that u r perfectionist and u dnt like things to b done in haphazard way .... and another 1 hr. is gone with just 2 newspaper .... i think this eg. gives a better idea abt. my MIL
2007-12-12
#5
Name: gg Subject: hi...namita ....no commtn on this
..namita...exactly the same way my mil use to harassme..
inspite of doing all ht work..incl..cooking...cleaning house...washing clothes(we ddnt hv maid till my sil got mrrd) my mil wud neve r let us hire maid....let me tell u wehv washing machine at home which we never use coz my mil doesnt believe in that...she use to do work in front of my husband n hsuband..(fil) jsut to show she did everything...
we hv a stove at home...but we never use it ...in our life..its a kerosene stove...we hv never seen kerosne n there is no question of using that .......she wudnt tell me to do something eg, i hv a habit of cleaning kitchen very well...i can keep entire house in mess but mot kitchen ..so much that i take one hour everyday...for cleaing kitchen floor..i will put detergent powder...n with brush i will clean floor...till u can see ur face..this is psyco prob i hv...i cant cook in mess...
she never praised me for that ...but the moment she wud see me coming out of kitchen inspite of being so clean ..she use to enter kitchen saying cccccccchhhhhhheee this is what she has cleaned...she wud take lemon n start cleaning that stove...which very old one..now u dont expect me to do all this daily...then she wud take rack in which we keep onions n potatoes.she use to empty that n start cleaning...i use to get so irrtated...then she wud complain i am dirty ...i can tkeep house clean...
now she has become cold like ice...likea soda bottle loses all its power after soemtime...n becomes tasteless...couple of days b4 my mil told my sil to keep the kitchen clean after u finish work..she told my sil 4 times in front of enitre family but she ddnt do ..ultimately i did....my sil at first ...its 7 months she must hv cooked soemthing for family only 2ce or 3rc...if she goes in kitchen she will leave whn she finishs her cooking all the utensils in th e sink n kitchen dirty...she will create such a mess that after soemtime u will see 1 lac ants crawling ...we run to clean the kitchen...
my mil has changed so much now that u cant believe it...she has got whtever she did to me...i shdnt be saying that but my mil herslef admits now..that this is her karma s fal...that she is facing now...for harassing me ...she said this in front of me...
2007-12-12
#6
Name: Swapna Subject: Hi Namita
((((((Hugs ))))))) to you.
I sooo well understand what yo are going thru. My MIL is just so the same. Although I dont live with her ,I know what she was like. When she was here ,she´ d only cook and nothing more. I did the laundry,ironing,trash,cleaning and my baby stuff and she´ d doze for 2 hrs in the anoon. As soon as my dh calls from work that he´ s leaving,she´ d get into the kitchen and start making dinner. And after every meal she has cooked ,she´ d ask my dh ,how was it ,dear? She loves to put down my cooking. My dh loves my cooking and once she said that he never knows the difference between good and bad food (meaning my food is bad and he still likes it) .I stopped cooking when she was here ,but I´ d do all the round work ,like chopping veggies,blending spices,grating coconut,making roti etc. She´ d only throw them on the pots on the stove and brags about her own cooking. My foot.
MY BIL and his wife were living with them and MIL controlled them like h*ll. She´ d do all the work at home and SIL was getting bugged at home. Imagine ,she was not let to cook,clean or do anything ,poor thing what she´ d do 24/7? She wanted to work ,but ILs were dead against it ,they simply wnated to ruin her life. She fought with them and left the house and lived her parents. BIL came out and they lived for a couple of months together ,but ILs poisoned BIL and he almost divorced his wife. Now they are staying in the same house but on diferent floors. MIL and FIL say such awful things about SIL ,I can´ t imagine how such old mature people can use such language. It would make me curl. My dh too thinnks SIL is a monster and a curse to the family.MIL bought a ton of gifts for everybody (incl the maid in her bro´ s house) but nothing for SIL.
Even when she was here ,once Im done with work and baby is napping, I´ d get onto the internet. the moment I´ d opne the laptop ,she´ d head to the kitchen and make me feel guilty. coz of her I never spoke to friends ,family or anybody on the fone and on chat.
Even she has cut off all the relations on my Fil´ s side. She´ s only in touch with her sisters and brother. It´ s so pathetic that my dh does not even know his aunt and gma(Fil´ s sister and mom) has been dead for years now. I had to tell him that. MIL never invited her BIL and his family and her SIL´ s children for our wedding. And the other day she was giving me a big lecture about how I must invite dh´ s sister and her family to my home,give her gifts and such things even after my ILs die. Like the heck I will. Dh´ s sister doesn´ t even mail me , never wishes me for bdays,wedding anniversaries ,never asks about my baby and never even congratulated me on my baby´ s birth.She did not get me and dh a present for our wedding. She was earning so well and she´ s the world´ s biggest miser. Now I totally stopped talking to her ,but she gives advice to dh about how I should raise my daughter and has no shame in telling that she´ s the world´ s best mom and her daughter is the model for the whole world about how a child should be.
Im sorry to go off on a tangent ,but Im just letting you know that you are not alone. A lot of us are " blessed" with such ILs. I can go on a lot ,but I´ ll stop here. Vent here as much as you can and get it off your chest. We are all here to listen to you and make you feel better and help you out in any way we can. That´ s why I said we´ ll have a group for us.
Try to get out of the house if your dh is behind you. Even if $$ is tight ,you can still manage it. Like dd said ,your mental peace and happiness is worth so much more. We all have only one life and it´ s too precious to be stressing over ILs. I can share some experience on this living separately and supporting ILs - my mom has and is still living thru it. Ive seen it all first hand and I´ ll be happy to share them with you.
Take care,cheer up and have a nice day.
2007-12-11
#7
Name: Friend Subject: HI
LOL Namita for giving us instruction how to fold newspaper..... MY MIL is same, she just pretend she is doing more work. JUst to show her husband and my husband. she use to massage my daughter as soon my husband open the door and always make sure to tell them I don´ t do in right way that´ s why she has to do. she helps me in cooking but I have to do allcleaning and cutting (preparation) and she put on stove and ask thousand time to my husband that how it is made, and the funny part is he tells her thousand time that it is good very delicious and also tells me that see my mother is such a good cook whatever she makes turns out very good. and she praise praise and praise her son my husband her daughter and herself that i use to do that i use to do that all the time as long you are sitting in front of her.and not to forget Comment and Taunt on me.
All tips on Parents of Schoolgoers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : Hi Namita
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Parents of Schoolgoers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : Hi Namita
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Parents of Schoolgoers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
I feel that my husbands parents are using their son. My husband is from India and I am from the USA. He obtained his greencard and citizenship through me after coming here. He is a physician and obtained his residency training. I worked to earn for our family for two years until he got his job. Then he applied for his parents to visit us on a visiting visa. We were both wo... - Tina Shah [View Message]
RE:self centered inlaws
I agree they have completely double standards as I recently found out. I saw my husbands childhood photos when he was young. His parents claim they sacrificed everything for their kids and lived poor and behave like martyr parents. Got treated as free domestic servant. But the photos showed them dressed like Bollywood stars with watches and jewellery enjoying their life. O... - Tina [View Message]
RE:self centered inlaws
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve. ... - Tina [View Message]
RE:Jadu on food?
Hi , I am facing the same thing.. I married my husband and we are not only from different caste but also different country. My in-laws are so nice to me on face but I can sense the jealousy and that inferiority majorly in my mother in law and my sister in law.. I never had such doubts but I experienced pain sadness , depression while they use to be nice .. and it was confu... - Noname [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
if you are rudely talking with her, then this is not way to talking with your mother in law, you tell her in polite way, your son is her grand son, so she never think about his bad effects.... - ruchita [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
stop your negative thinking towards your mother in law, she is your son grand mother too, so if she gave some sweet like sugar to him its just because of her love towards him.... - reshma [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
if you are dont like your mother in law behaviour then tell her on face, that you dont whenever she gave sugar to her son, so she may be stop giving sugar to him, and your porblem will be sort out.... - kamna [View Message]
Why????
same story everywhere
Name: Dd
Hi Namita
boring story
hi...namita ....no commtn on this
Hi Namita
HI
Family Planning
Pregnancy
Babies
Kids
Teens
Discuss
Community
Find Listing
Videos
More
