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Role of in-laws:expectations-naming my child-need help

2004-06-29

Name: damini hi,
was going thru many of the messages and found that most of the girls have given the suggestion to not to care about the in-laws.but sometimes when they r interfering u cant do anything for ex. my MIl doesnt like that i should go to my parents place for more than 3-4 hrs.then she has told my husband that --- will be the name of our child.and my husband listens to her that time i dont know what to do...
like my mil has told my husband that my child's name should start with 'r' as all of the males in the family have their names with 'r'.this is too strange that i cant even decide the name of my child.i am sure when i will deliver after few months, the whole happeniness will be gone with this issue.though they dont care about me these days,but will try to show their hold on my child specially if its a boy.
i dont know how to deal with this situation.i have told my husband that i would like to have my childs name on any of the gods or goddesses, but on this he said that its because my parents want our childs name with 'r' u r saying this...
honestly speaking i dont want my child's name to be kept with 'r', it should be anything else than that.
plz give me any suggestion
damini

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2004-07-07

Name: Ronhitha's mother
Subject:

I think this is a good solution.

Perhaps you can keep the formal name with a letter R and the nickname of your choosing. Perhaps a middle name can be of your choosing also. If it's a girl, make sure they have no say.

2004-07-21

Name: damini
Subject:

hi sonia

hi sonia,
it doesnt make a difference for us if it is a boy or a girl but it makes a big difference for them if its a boy...
i dont know how to handle this situation as i dont want them to interfere in naming my child...and my husband doesnt understand my feeling...i have to fool him to get things done but this time he know that i am not liking that his parents want to name my child...
how to deal with it...
contact me at booxer999 at yahoo.co.in

2004-07-20

Name: sonia
Subject:

Question

Can you tell me what difference it makes in naming the baby whether its a boy or a girl...I do not understand this about Indian culture...it was also true for me...when my daughter was born 3 yrs ago my husband and I named her...no-one else in my in-laws family interfered, but in this pregnancy coz its a boy my in-laws want to have a choice in the name.

I've told my husband it should be our choice.....he agrees.
My in-laws have also become sooo possessive of my son...the son I am carrying right now...they never ask how I'm feeling but what we think of this name and that name...I'm sick of it.

HE IS MY SON NOT THEIRS...I AM CARRYING HIM....I'M HIS MOTHER. I FEEL SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE DON'T EVEN WANT THEM TO TOUCH HIM.
THEY WILL HAVE NO INFLUENCE OVER MY KIDS.

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