Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi,
hi,
need ur urgent help...
i am getting mad due to my tensions...in married ife....
i will tell u everything in nutshall...
i and my husband have been married since 2 years and we had alove marriage...it took me a lot to convince my parents for that as it was an intercaste marriage.i met my husband in our college,we both are engineers...
when i got married i was hsocked to see his family atmosphere,his mother is a very dominating lady and wants everything to be done according to her wishes...and she did like my going to my parents place or having much interaction with them,and she used to convince his son that the daughter in laws of good families dont keep much interaction with their parents and my husband follows what she says like a puppet...he forgot how much pains i had taken for him in my college time and at my home...my parents had given me best education even when their financial condition was not good as their bussiness had gone to worst...i was shocked to see the differentiation done between the girls and boys in their home as i had never even seen it in my life.i was wanted to do something for my parents but i was not allowed ,neither i was allowed too visit them and my husband didnt support me ...i was very much tensed...i was working in a software company and lost my job also at that time,....then suddenly my husband wished to enter a new carrer that is serials and movies...and that time without knowing much about this line i agreed to it as i thought we will stay away from his parents and we came to bombay....when we came here he tried his struggle...but didint get much work...
he has done 2 small albums and 2 small serials and the scenec he did in them made me mad like anything...there was lot of hugging and kissing scenes with girls and i couldnt tolerate seeing him with other females...i told him i cant tolerate it but he told me that i have to tolerate it...but the fact is that i cant tolerate it...
he has earned around 10,000 since 1 and a half year and is not at all bothered about future,he takes me still as a girl friend and doesnt feel responsible towards me...my job is nice, but all the money goes to buying gifts for his parents and his frequent trips to his mothers place and when i send few money to my parents sometimes,he doesnt like it because it has been feeded in his mind that doing that is wrong and he who listens to his wife is a 'joru ka gulam',so he doesnt listen to me at all...
my friends in my office always tell me that u should nt tolerate so much,u should support him monetariry and emotinally for what u dont like,i really go mad after seeing his scenes with other girls...
he has changed completely and i am getting mad due to my frustrations...
he avoids me taking to his friends or to his parties because he will have to say that i am his wife,this realy hurts me a lot...when even sometimes he takes me along with him,he tells me that i wont introduce u as my wife...then i feel i am doing so much for him and what he is doing to me...
last year i had undergone an abortion as well and it effected me both emotionally and physically...i had continuous bleeding for 5 months and i had to go to office in that condition to earn and no one in his family bothered to see me..
he used to have frequent visits to a friend who is a gay and is not good and when i told him that u shouldnt go there,he slapped me and my lower lip became red and it took around 25-30 days to get it ok...
i feel i love him that's why i am tolerating it but now things and changing as i cant tolerate it more..i feel he also loves me but he is very imature to understand his responsibilities and there is no one who can make him understand and i am suffering like anything....
i am alive till date just because i believe a lot in GOD ,i pray daily but dont know why GOD is not listening to my prayers...
could u plz help me and become my GOD...
kriti xyz replied. why are you tolerating so much. just take a stand and draw a line. tell him i will not tolerate beyond this. stop worrying and find something to engage yourself so that you have a life beyond your house and husband . that will help you./ all the best. diva replied. hi kriti,
i understand what u are going through. u are in a real fix. neither can u get out of the relationship nor can u go on. i think it is about time that u start showing ur husband the right way. it is really not fair on his part to be treating u like an outsider. nothing much the glamour world has changed him and he just sees you as an item or a commodity and not as a person he loved so dearly at one time. stop helping him for sometime, go back to your parents place and let him face the situation. he will defintely understand ur importance. if no money comes into the family ur mother-in-law will also come on the right track..
sorry for being so harsh..but there is always a limit till which a person can take..and u have to find out when that limit has been reached..if u continue this way it will always be this way. if u put up a point atleast u will be heard..try being a little stronger. i am sure things will turn to be better for you. Monu replied. Hi Kriti,
Hope u r feeling better now. Take care and keep writing. It helps !!!

Good Luck !!