Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

after reading priya' s prob i felt like discussing htis with u all...
i dont hv any prob with my in laws ...n husband...except for mil..n my husbands love for his family ..i too love them...but he loves spending time with them ..n this is all the time...
we had fight this weekend ..my husband is alwyas busy with his work he hardly gets any time during weekdays...only time we get is sat n sun..n weekdays even i am busy or say tired to even make love...or even talk to him...( i cant help discussing my prob so deeply with u all)...
i can understand he too misses his famly but he should try to gv equal importance to mee too...
i am also his wife...i am his family...
i do everything for his family ...i hv never done it for my parents so much..
suppose we plan for movie ..u know jsut b4 going to bookk tickets he will say he is buying tickets for entier 14 people...otherwise b4 that plan will be btwn us..only we too going 2gether..but last moment he will drag eveyr1..same fro lunch...or dinner...imagine taking everybody ..ofr lunch...its been such a long time we hv not gone anywhr...only option leaves with me is go out of town on weekends...after march i went out with my husband last month...out of bambay ..for weekend...but all the tiem i cant afford to take him out...
not possible everyweek end..
i hv tried to speak to him ..make him understand..he gv me big huge lecture...my parents hv done so much for me...whn they went out they always took me out with them they never left me n my brothers..home ...how can i leave themn n take my wife out in front of them?
this is the lecture my mil too gvs whn we leave the house to go out...look at children ...in 2 dAYs mrrg they hav e 4 gotten their parents ....bla bla....
every parents take their chidlren out..even whn i go twith my husband i never leave my dauhgter at home...what a big deal?
but after my daughter gets mrrd i cant telll her to take my husband n me for lunch with her boyfriend for husband???
is there any way out?
can any1 help me?
i miss the time we spent all the time...i think about past...i don tknwo how to explain my hsuband...
Namita replied. ur DH gve u this lecture bcoz he is been brought up in this manner, he have definately heard this lecture from his mother since childhood ... the only way is 2 make ur DH undrstnd the imp. of privacy ... i m sure u hve tried all this wht i m going to say bt still let me give some ideas

1) this weekend book tickets for movie for entire family by urself, ofcourse after informing ur DH then in Dec. ask him whthr this weekend can u both go alone for movie.

2) same way do with dinner

3) if u hve close friend who can invite u both for dinner or if u can suggest ur friend 2 invite u both(ofcourse he/she shud b staying alone not with IL' s) ... then after dinner u can step out for night walk at some beach etc.

3) After dinner on weekends for 2 - 4 times u can suggest to go to some nearby temple with family and thereafter may be for one weekend ask u DH if v can go alone (request him as if u r begging, bt carefully he shud nt feel tht u dnt like his family' s company, and mention tht this is for only today)

4) if u can plan for lucnh or dinner outside with all friends and their spouse, (bt dnt tell ur DH that u hve planned this tell him that they hve invited us) this way ofcourse he hve to come alone with u as others are with their spouse and not with parents

hope atleast one of them will help u