Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi,
I wrote about my situation before in reply to your massage. My dh is very emotional person & i could convinced him to ask my fil to come to our house on this sunday when we were moving our personal furniture. so my fil came along tosuperwise & was vey happy to see our house. and father & son r talking to eachother nicely without discussing past. we never had big problem with him. he was not even present at home when we had left home after a fight but he is silent bcs feels halpless himself infront of mil & sil.
I made my dh understand not to hurt them anymore emotionally if he wants them to come & stay with us in future(which he really wants). Now my dh want' s to invite his parents for lunch this sunday but i refused bcs i don' t mind havng them over but i will have to invite sil also though she will not come but i don' t want to do formality also of inviting her. we r not on talking terms with my sil. she also created another big drama on sunday which upseted everyone a lot. so i don' t want to have relationship with her. my dh is very understanding & didn' t mind when i said not to invite them now. i told him we will invite them during diwali or when if my sil goes out of station which is not likely in near future.
so i am not sure if i am doing right thing.

Neesha, u or anyother girl if want to comment on my decision or has any advice for me r welcome.
i have writeen about myself before under the subject \" just need to share my feelings\" also. Neesha replied. Nice to hear from you again. I tell you one thing dont make the mistake we always made. When we started to talk to inlaws after an argument we started to go down alot, well i did my dh never went. Which that causes problems the advice i give you is keep it to a limit, just keep it to special occasions. Your a bright women you got ur head screwed on. Good luck. Sana replied. Just invite them at dewali, everyone is in a good mood during dewali and when mil ask why didn' t you invited my daughter tell her i tried and tried to explain it your beta but he said no mummy why don' t you talk to him and let you dh deal with it ...all the lectures and threats will be toward him not you. This way you look good ..
as for you devarni..i don' t know how to deal with her i am a new jatanii .. Namita replied. good that ur DH can manage .. then go fwd... invite ur IL' s give them some gift for visiting first time on auspicious day like Diwali ... they vl b happy, ofcourse not ur MIL i can understnd that, but if she points out something abt. not calling her daughter, at that moment itself point out firmly but in a calm manner tht during the opening of ur house she created tamasha so u thought that atlest the 1st diwali should go inpeace .. let her feel bad .... bt at times it is necessary to be firm ... dnt think much ... invite ur IL' s alone ... Y should u spoil ur realtions with IL' s for ur cunning SIL? Let her b alone only then ur MIL and SIL will realise and will know to respect others ... as it is ur Devrani dnt respect them and is not in good terms with ur SIL, so if u point the reason as i gave u atlest they will realise there daughters mistake (i m sure they will not say tht in frnt of u but it vl help in near future) ... think and try this .. Njoy ur Diwali gg replied. good decsion ..u too can have a good time wth ur fil n mil...otherwise as u say u dont get along with sil..if she creastes some scene u will end up hurting ur fil n mil too... Namita replied. during diwali if u can invite ur inlaws only for dinner or lunch, dnt mention abt. ur SIL, jst say tht if she is free she can also join .. so tht they will get message that u r nt inviitng her by heart SG replied. I think u hv taken a wise decision. Diwali is cmg soon...u all can celebrate together to make the environment light.
Also gv gap in ur meetings so they can realise ur value or else they will not feel that u r away from them.Let them realize ur imp.
And when hubby is on ur side ..it will not be difficult for u mk him understand so.
Regd sil..dont keep relation with her if she always create drama...