Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Name: Dd
Date: 2007-09-26
Hi Everyone,

as a DIL i should be on top of the world today because yesturday we finalsied a rented place for ourself, saperate from Ils, & will be moving in soon & start a new life after 10yrs of our relatioship. But i don' t feel quit myself & i can not understand what' s hapenning.
I had experince of leaving with DH as just 2 of us but in diff cities as a pert of job. but this will be my first separete house in SAME CITY.
Though it could be anxity from having to start from scratch, we both r not afraid of that BCS we both have experince of doing it in new cities & more than once. But somehow we bOth r not able to accept this situation as we had never dremt of leaving paernts alone at old age. We even had selected a nice big flat to buy for all of us to stay together a month back & were trying to work on a deal. And one sunday before 15 days bcs of some fight between my elder sil-(unmarried & leaving with us) & my DH, we left house. we packed luggage in 2 hrs. & are managing in temporary arrngemnts. Though my MIL & FIL tried their very best to patch up but this time myself & DH r not ready to give in as they don' t say anything to SIL & house runs according to her rules mainly, which we r fed up of now. A deal for that flat got cancelled 2-3 days back & we rented a place yesturday to leave till we find new place to buy. Which will take time as my DH still wantS to buy big flat to accomodate everyone if need arises in future. And i am also comfertable with making small adjustments for my FIL & MIL but not for SIL Who cause so much trouble for me. Everytime she blamed me whenever she had a fight with her brother-my DH eventhough i was not in picture, but this time we couldn' t keep quite & we also lashed out at her & my MIL badly for supporting her. we both felt very bad & cried a lot but we don' t want to go back to that miserable life, so we took decision & rented a plce. I hope we r doing right thing & god guides us in future & forgive us for causing grief to my MIL & FIL.

i am new on this board & survivied ordeal of last few days reading previous massages on these board. and today finally could let my feelings out. Sorry for the long mail.
I really admire the wisdom & advise of some of the members & hey girlfriends, KEEP IT UP. Namita replied. u have given ur share of hardwork, adjustment everything for them but they never realised and finally u had to take this decison ... dnt blame urself for leaving them at this age it is all bcoz of their Karma, they are suffering ... if thy would hve showed there daughter a right way, taught her to respect others ths would have never happened, so always remember u r right never mention this in front of ur hubby then he will feel bad abt parents gg replied. my dear sss..first of all that was just a joke..i am not n illiterate to produce babies for my mil...i am happy with my only daughter...n mil doesnt take care of her i have a maid..alright...n .i have cleaned my mil' s potty with my own hands whn she was not well 4 soemitme...n do u know what i got in return she said in front of every1 that i dont do anywork at home and i went against my parents wishes to get mrrd , a girl who ddnt respect her parents what respect she will gv to us...? n what such girl will take care of us in our old age...
my mil is pretty young not only in looks but also health wise
dont take tension i will produce 100 babies just 4 mils...
n i am frustrated n angry that s y i discuss things on this board. other wise its only me who is taking care of them all alone no one else...n one else will ever do in this world taking care of 15 members...ok.. sss replied. sorry gg,
i never thought you could write like this.what a nasty thought!!!!you think your mil is not a human being!she is old,and whatever she has done to you,you are also not acting any different.how can some one think that mil should be there to clear your baby' s and other babies' potty!if she is ready to do that every time without any fuss,i dont think she is bad at all.
and this advice doesnot suit Dd in anyway as she is still waiting for her first baby.so what is the use writing all these thoughts here!i dont understand.
Dd,all the best in whatever you do.may god bless you.
Saheli replied. At times when things to a level of extreme emotions like that and we dont know what is right or wromg, it is better to take things as they are going, trust God and let time heal the wounds. Dont feel bad about the step you two took at the heat of the moment.

Think positive. Your hubby and you are together and you guys are trying to find out solution to the problem. Another positive point that has emergeged out of this .. as I see is ... I think your hubby and you needed some quiet time to think about situation, some tme alone but together to validate things. Being at same place and in same env sometimes blocks the mind.

Also, being away from family and at a rented place will give you idea of how things are outside the house and help u take a decision.

Moreover, u seem to know what is valid and invalid .. u r accepting inlaws but not SIL. Keep in touch with them and let them know u care fot them. I think they are worried abt the daughter as she is unmarried.
Give it some time and you willl see situation emerging with answers by itself.

Good luck and keep us posted. Dont worry as it will not give u solutions. gg replied. i am not telling you to not to see them or meet..them personally, i am telling you to not take tension or think about anyhting they say or do worng with you ..just ignore it...think htat you hv had a bad day in off ur boss shouted at you once u r at home u are realxed with ur family ...same way treat them .
i am very supertitious ..other words strong faith in god..pray to god ..u will def get a baby...u both hsuband n wife dwell on ur problmes coz of this reason once you have a baby ...that baby will keep you busy all the time...all th best ..may god fulfill ur wish...
first change in my life was my baby ...all my attention as well as my mils' s attention was diverted to my daughter..n then came my sil...
hope god gvs my sil baby soon...then i will go another baby.... my dream to make my mil busy with babies...situation should be liek she clears one babies potty ...other one is ready ...she clears 2nd ones potty n 3rd one is ready...by the time i think my younger bro-in law will get mrrd ..n he will hv baby...wow........what a scene..lol...
then she wont get itme to scheme about us.. gg replied. 4get about the past i think u dd everything a good wife n dil is suppose to do..pray to god n move ahead dont ever look bad...even if they try to harass you just simply ignore..now you are totally away from them then y simply take tension ...instead think about ur children ...n go for another baby...
ur are not concieving bcoz ur thinking about stupid things...dont take tension...
there are so many tips available on net…u can always refer to them …mayb this one will help u…
...from the 1st day of ur periods...start having sex from the 7th day onwards...u must hv sex atleast every alternate day ..without fail...
whn he ejaculates inside...dont get up ...lie on ur back..atleast for half hour...after he ejaculates...continue till 7 days b4 u get ur next periods...if this doesnt work then ..keep a pillow under ur butts let him ejaculate in this position...i mean get ur head on a lower position..than waist..by keeping a pillow under ur waist..lie in this position for atlesat 15 mins after ejacultion...
i hope this works for u....let me know...all the best i think it should work for u....go to google search type anything like how to have boy or girl or how to conceive you will get so many tips follow them..
ther e ovalution calender when u hv sex on those days u can conceive eaily...this is available on this site itself...or you can go dr malpani site n chekc out...

jooti replied. i was reading your stories, you are very strong and courageous person to have lived with for 10 years! i hope that things work out for you! gg replied. 10 years...is a pretty long time. i can iamgine what you are going thru. even my thinkin is somewhere same. even i use to think forget it in laws have become old. but when i see my sil i realise at the end of the day my mil fights with me inspite of me doing all seva and good work for her ohter sons. whereas my sil who doenst do anything is happy coz my mil gets scared messing up with her, she gvs time to her husband instead of housework she gets her husband' s love also.
n i see myself as a fool when compare myself with her.
even have done a lot but i never got anything in return yes i know kicks, taunts, blaming fingers are always towards me. you have done your best leave everything else in god' s hand dont worry nothing will go worng with you.
move ahead. my mil says if u dont take care of us than in your old age your children will treat you same.
but i would ask such mil why dont you think like that today if you support newly mrrd dil with love and little care dont you think we will be nice to you also.
after all its always what you give is what you get ...just move ahead with life. and i think you were very nice you spent 10 years with them i can imaigne what you must have gone thru. i think it is right time to start with you ouwn family.
sometimtes even you need peace.
but REMEMBER DONT THE SAME THING WITH YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW.