Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

im very upset nowdays.my in laws have gone out of town for some days.now they keep on calling us to know whats happening at our end.

me and my hubby are working.after a long day we both get tired and dont call them though my husband regularly speaks to them but still they keep on worrying about us as if we are babies..and cannot manage the house.whenever i speak to MIL she keeps on asking me things...i tell politely,but she feels tht since the time they have gone we are enjoying and not bothered to talk to them.its not like that though since the time she has gone im a little relaxed but busy with work.

My MIL is weird...my hubby talks to her but she wants all detail about whats happening...what we ate for dinner,when did we go for movie,what time did maid come.i dont understand y cant hey manage their own business.y r they worried so much.Both my in laws have become weird.

i had an argument with my hubby and told that his mom dosent like us being alone in for a short time.always inquiring.even if we forget 1 day to call them they get upset.so much expectations to be cared and given attention.im very irritated and to be frank happy now that she is away.she has some guilty feeling because she keeps on saying to me\" now u r having honeymoon time\" .
how to explain hubby that they are very interfering and always want presence even when out. simmi replied. Hi,

I think we all go through similar problems. My in-laws are also nosey, bossy and interfering. When I first got married my mother in law wanted to know what I cooked and all other petty details. Recently she made a stupid comment \" I have to dig, dig and ask questions.\" I found that very absurd. I do not know what she really wants to know about us more than what we can share. She would get some wrong information from my husband and then complain to my mother (now deceased). My mother just wondered if she had done a bad job with my upbringing. My mother in law gets some joy in getting all details from us. I guess she has nothing better to do. She even called my Dad one day and complained that we do not have children as if he can do something about it. When it comes to their daughters all is well and perfect in their world. Daughters are flawless and worthy of praise. M-I-L will then gossip with her sister and friends and slander about their d-i-l' s. It is their favorite hobby.

Dear friend, just ignore these people and their odd behaviour. I think they are just bored and have nothing else to do. So they interfere in the lives of their children. Namita replied. Its high time our society should come up with nuclear family immediately after marriage instead of handling and wasting our precious moments solving this stupid inlaws prob...

i can only give one advice stay separate one and only one solution ... even i m waiting for the day when i can leave of my own with my hubby ... 2day my inlaws are coming back from native place after 1 week and i m feeling sooooo much nervous and bored to go home. Swapna replied. I don' t live with ILs but they get super crazy if I don' t call them 2-3 times a week. They don' t mind if my hubby doesn' t but I need to speak to them if possible every damn day. When I delivered I was in a ton of pain and had bad PPD and still they yelled at me for not talking to them.
Now MIL is here visiting us and she wouldn' t let me and my husband have a minute of lone time. She keeps a long face and refuses to eat and talk if we went out even to run a errands. It' s been 2 months since we even spoke well to each other let alone doing things out of the designated area..lol..That was just a joke for Madhuri.
So ,again,all I can say is that it' s the same everywhere and sorry no advice on how to tackle it. I simply rambled on your post. madhuri replied. My Dear friend
I dont know if this is any consolation but 99% of bahus of joint families in India are in the same boat. When we were living with mu inlaws in India they did not leave us even for a day. They needed to go to native place to handle some property issues but they were so posssesive of thier son & their house that they did not go & almost lost their inheritance.even after we moved to a different country they r here with us & when they go to India for a month or two they will still call 2-3 times in a day & make all inquiries. Even during our honeymoon my FIL would call everyday & speak for ever. All i can say is that enjoy your freedom even if it is for a few days. When u marry into a family inlaws are some thing that we have to accept wheather we like it or not. You are lucky to get some time alone with ur husband. go for movies , invite friends over.. enjoy ur second honeymoon... do stuff that u wud not normally do out of the designated area... if u know what I mean ..lol...U dont have to call them evryday.. when they call say..ohhh we were just talking about u.. we were just about to call you & sweet talk etc.. A word of caution from my experience.. if u r newly married & dont have kids from my experience all I can say is that things can get worse with inlaws issues esp when u have kids when inlaws r possesive & the bahu is not the typical sati savitri types that they glorify in those crappy hindi serials.So either steel youself for rough times ahead or make a clean break by moving out & setting boundries before kids come in the picture & complicate issues. I am sorry if I end up being the cause of tension in your family instead of solving your problems but I am trying to deal with my own inlaws issues & your message is giving me a bad sense of deja vu of myself few years ago.