Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

its nothing like u should throw them out of the house...or be rude to them ...i think it will be very worng on our part too...
after all she is ur husbands mother..n ur husband loves her..may be more than u ...he wont say that but it is fact ...
personally i always wanted to stay with my husbands parent s he had asked me b4 mrrg n left decision on me..infact he had warned me that my fahter is a very nice person ..but i am very sure that u wotn get along with my mother...still i said no...infact i am blessed with such a nice family ...we are all 15...n we all enjoy a lot...
but the only prob in my liufe is my mil....
my mil is first very traditional...n very old now...with age u tend to become cranky...insecure...jealuous...high ego prob...when some1 praises me..she gets upset...may be when i am old ...i too will feel smae u never know....
i am very very reserved n quite person i dont lose temper on any1...b4 mrrg i was very patient...sober...but the way my mil behaves with me i lose my temper...my mind just blows off...still i go n cry in one corner n never back answered her...now she is become alright coz i hv started giving her bakc...what to do ? cant help if there is some1 who has changed my behaviour its she ..she is the only responsible person...i dont behave same with others ..no way..my in laws are very nice touch wood...i jsut love this joint family...it makes a difference....
i hv learnt on e thing...u cant help all mil are same...
still if u ask me if i want to stay nuclear or joint i wud go for joint..
but mil...no way...trust at times they are very ver irritaing...i myslef feel like doing soemthing so bad that she will remember all her life....
i feel like stiching her lips whn she opens her mouth...u just cant take it.......

moral of the story to all the dil :

IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH MIL...U HAVE TO LEARN TO BE DEAF... gg replied. not at all...i felt bad...i was not telling u what i believe..my mil keeps on telling me continoiusly...u know that typical standard line...after all i am a mother...i hv gvine birth...n not only her even her friends whn they come they will gv us same lecture....no matter how much my son run after u...he loves me more thatn u...when at home generally not even intentionally if she sees my husband walking behind me ..she will comment look how my son is following her...let her take whever she wants but my son will come to me coz ia m a mother...alll the time ..365 days ...24 hrs we hv listen to lecture...
n touchwood i hv no problem with my in laws at all...we are all 15 ...love to enjoy life...n whn we all relatvies are 2gether...we just hv a blast...
only only prob is my mil...she is not with me..but also with her relatives...4 any get together she has to say something..nasty about some1...or back biting..or taunting...
n how much she has done for her dil...its nothing special for us...just for one person i cant ask my husband to get rid of entire family...n i cant remove my mil..out of my house all alone...so i use to take her non sense...but now i know how to handle her...
my prob was i was only new perosn in family..it takes time to adjust n gain every1 respect ...that time she took full advantage of my situation..i never took any1 advice or told any1 ..coz mine was love mrrg...
if i tell my side about my mil..they wud hv said this is what happens in love mrrg..bla bla..i was sick of that too...
after i met my sil..i am feeling better...she is of my age...nice she is ...atleast i hv company..best thing she is very understanding too.. but she knows how to tackle my mil...she really knows that ...
i tried my best to win my mil...coz again mine was a love mrrg..everytime she wud say in my family no one went for love mrrg ...my sons are never like that i dont know what made my sone go mad after u..?
she wud tell ever1 not to talk to me at home...so many thigs to tell u...
she never let me do anything ..she use to be like u cant take care of 13 members...
then came my bro-in laws mrrg...he too fell in love with this girl...all her big talks..went for a toss...
now other members of my family talk to me properly...previously they wud get scared talking tom e in front of my mill....
all i can say my stars were bad thats it...that i gv up...
now her situation is sit quietly in one corner...n keep thinking bad about us ..now also she continues talking ..but i dont pay any attention to her...after sometime she beocmes alright....
talking about girls side parents..then plsssssssss.........
once she draged my mother ...she said something bad about her...i clld my husband he was at off..i said if u want to spent rest of ur life with me u will come home right now........my bro in lw...n other relatives...n created a big huge scene..that was just small thing i got in my hand...i told everything to all her relatives about how she beahves with me.in front of her...i was only talking she was totally blank ddnt know where to go..n where to look..after that she has stopped taking my mother' s name..she wont dare to ....i made her cry...that day...she must hv never expected this from me....not even in her widlest dreams...
n its not that i cant gv her back..but who has so much of energy n brains...she can think ...speeak ....make stories all lies...non stop...all around the clock...tell me ....me with one daughter n working ...my husband is also a busy man...i wud prefer giving time to them rather than answering her back..n breaking my head on her silly talks...as a dil i am keeping that respect between us.....n all those massages n chamchagiri...was the story of the time when i had no children ..now 4 get it...even if she tells me i wont do it..... Swapna replied. HI gg

Ive been reading your MIL issues and I should say that you are super patient. If I were you,I' d have either run away or turned them over to cops depending on my mood. But in your above post,
\" i think it will be very worng on our part too...
after all she is ur husbands mother..n ur husband loves her..may be more than u\"

I do not agree. What if she' s my husband' s mother? If she does something that no sane person can tolerate ,it doesn' t matter if she' s mom or dad. If your mom were to treat your husband like that ,will he have the same words to say? Does he agree ,\" oh after all she' s my wife' s mother ,she birthed her and brought her up and if it wasn' t for her, I would have never got such a wife\"
So why should we pity such ILs?
I think my husband has to have the same amount of respect and love towards my parents that I have towards his. It' s not just me who' s become a DIL ,he' s become a SIL too.
I did' nt mean to be rude or demean you or anything,it' s just that it rubbed me the wrong way when you said it' ll be wrong if we are rude just because they happen to be parents of our husbands.
Please write back if you have other views on this.
Once again ,nothing personal against you and I really have great respect for women who tackle ILs and their loony designs. Dd replied. Very true.