Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I ve been married for 2 years. me and my hubby are only child of our parents. am very much attached to my parents. my parents and in-laws ve been friends for a long time(even before me and my hubby were born). we agreed for this marriage only for two reasons, which my IL' s knew 1) we are in the same city 2) parents are friends.
but after marriage my in laws behavior towards my parents changed. they never openly insulted or fought with them, but did things like not talking to them at all when they visited, they clearly showed their dislike whenever my parents gifted me anything...and a few more of such instances. Even my husband has insulted my father a couple of times and my mom a few times.
i didnt make a big deal of this, as my father said, during initial days of marriage the groom' s side has insecurities.
all this happened during the first 6 months of marriage. After that my husband' s office asked him to go to another country for project, with lots of difficulty i left my job and moved...and during our stay there our parents became friends again (they went on trips and eat-outs etc) so i was happy they ve changed, but when i came back for sometime. their behavior has gone back to the same thing. this time i cant take it. it hurts... i cant say abt my husband..he does love me a lot,but am not sure if he will listen to me in this regard..
my in-laws treat me very well... but i get a kind of feeling they want to cut off my parents from my life. i cannot let that happen..i love my parents a lot and cant cut them off and see them getting insulted.
how do i convey to my in-laws? Sabina replied. Hi,

In-laws do not always respect the daugther-in-laws parents. Your case is a bit strange since they were friends. My in-laws do not even want to sit and talk to my folks when they visit us. My Mom-in-law offers tea and goes and sits in her bedroom. She has made nasty comments about my family. My in-laws also try to be nice to me but they don' t like me visiting my folks or they visiting me.

Is it possible to find out from your husband what really is the problem between your folks and his? He might know something that is causing friction between the two parties.

Let us know what happens and good luck to you. sad daughter replied. hi...now i ve taken a firm stand. i treated my in-laws with respect, never ignored them and answered all their questions politely and did all the little household chores expected of me...
BUT...No chatting and laughing with them. and told my hubby, if he wants me to live happily with his parents, he and his parents should be respectful with my parents.
otherwise i will just do my duty as a dil. with no attachment.
And my parents are extremely reasonable ppl they never come between me and my hubby...they ve nothing but respectful to everyone... Sad daughter replied. also they hardly allowed me to go to my parents' s place...in the first six months i ve stayed less than 10 days and that to after a lot of crying...and when we visited India after 4 months, i stayed for 2 days and now am back after 1 year, they sent me for4 days..i really miss my parents...