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Role of in-laws:what to do..tell me.
2007-08-24
Name: xxx



hi,

well i read this board regularly and today i myself want a solution to my problems-

when i got married,everything was fine for atleast 1 year.i live with in laws and hubby.as time passes by somehow my in-laws have become very irritating.i thought maybe by time they will have more confidence in me as well as hubby in managing our lives,but somehow they still treat us as kids.i mean sooooooo interfering.my hubby thinks thats they are concerned.

see they dont illtreat me or say bad things,but they are very much discipline types..its good i know but not always.if we are late some nights they keep on worring specially my MIL ....too much interference.She cant thinnk of lying a back seat now.she is so sensitive if we try not to listen what she says.
nowdays so many boys live separetely from parents,my hubby is so respectful and caring towards them but my in-laws demand a little too much from us in terms of respect and care...not money.my MIL is always scared that we should not leave them...she will die of lonliness.i think she is a crack.very insecure and very emotional.this is what i dont like.i dont mind taking responsibilities of house but i dont want them to dictate me terms.y will i do something wrong with them?

i dont know how to put in exact words what i mean but as they are getting older they are becoming weird.specially my MIL i dont know whats happen to her.i feel she should go to a pychatirist.uselessly sitting at home and watching serials.dont to like this,like that..whole day kit kit.im so irritated.
I WANT TO SEPARATE and stay somewhere closer to their house but not with them.i told my hubby to change his job to some other city but right now he is not in applying anywhere as he is content with his job.WHAT SHOULD I DO?he is only son i feel guilty also in thinking of separeting..but im now fed up with their stupid interferance and irritatting habits.they think they r elder so they have more experiance in everything...and we both are fools.
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2007-08-30
#1
Anonymous Name: xxx
Subject:  thanks



thanks pallavi for your advise.atleast somebody understood my problem and replied even if its late.

i know pallavi,such things come up in life with ladies...but sometimes i get very irritated and loose patience.inspite they being loving and caring i dont no y they are so worried about us.
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2007-08-29
#2
Anonymous Name: Pallavi
Subject:  Patience



Hi,
I can understand ur situation. Your inlaws are still living in the 20th century. And you are living in the 21st Century. Your husband wants to sit on the fence and I dont thik he will ever support your decision to live separately.
Also please note that it is your duty to take care of your inlaws just like you would expect your parents to be taken care of by your brother .
Now the question remains about how to deal with your inlaws. You have agreed that they never say any bad words to you. So this is something that you should appreciate. Try to treat them just like you would treat your parents. Wouldnt your parents get worried when you come home late. Just a simple phone call from outside would solve the worries.
About other advises, give them an ear but do as you want to do. If they r not happy, then let them talk to your husband, he will solve the problem. You keep away from it. Be polite to them , respect them , but dont compromise your desires and wishes. Try to be independant and show confidence in whatever you do, however you do it. This is a trying time which all ladies go through in life, accept the challenge and have faith that God wants you to serve them.
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