hi there,
we stay in us and MIL is in india, DH talks to MIL every single day no matter how late in night it is after he IS done with his office work (that is not my prob) but MIL discusses every single detail with DH abt watever has happened during the day , etc but i am always the last person to know anything,,wen i cal MIL i m just asked formal questions like how m doin n thats the end of our conv,i try n talk and ask so how things r at home but always feel left out, i try to ignore it but m not able to,spoke to hubby abt this he said make an extra effort maybe MIL is a little concsious or else he will tell me everything imp,
but still i feel left out.Also she is always cribbing abt money and every month though DH sendS a certain amt of money,always has some reason to ask for more , now we r expecting our first baby ,i want DH to understand that certain things regarding money shud change.PLZ ADVICE HOW TO GET OVER MY INSECURITIES ??
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hi there,
we stay in us and MIL is in india, DH talks to MIL every single day no matter how late in night it is after he IS done with his office work (that is not my prob) but MIL discusses every single detail with DH abt watever has happened during the day , etc but i am always the last person to know anything,,wen i cal MIL i m just asked formal questions like how m doin n thats the end of our conv,i try n talk and ask so how things r at home but always feel left out, i try to ignore it but m not able to,spoke to hubby abt this he said make an extra effort maybe MIL is a little concsious or else he will tell me everything imp,
but still i feel left out.Also she is always cribbing abt money and every month though DH sendS a certain amt of money,always has some reason to ask for more , now we r expecting our first baby ,i want DH to understand that certain things regarding money shud change.PLZ ADVICE HOW TO GET OVER MY INSECURITIES ??
SG replied. u may not like to tell it ur hubby.
SG replied. take it this way that when u talk to ur husband ...u dont want it to be told to anyone else or somthing u share with ur mother u may like to tell ur hubby.Yes it wud be correct if they wud hv involved u in small/ big family issues...
But if after talking to them u hubby is not creating prob for u then u hv to just avoid this..or else slowly he will start talking behind u.
Yes u can start investing some amt of ur or his income for ur baby' s future. And slowly when after baby he will start feeling responcibilty for his own family then he may send less money to them.Try to understand from ur husband with an open mind whats ur inlaws condition for asking money agn & agn.Fix a certain monthly to be sent & if not sent in that month then keep it aside so that it canbe send from that fix money when needed.
Enjoy ur pregnancy!!
Saheli replied. Depending on your plans to stay in US or return to India, invest in life insurance schemes for both of you, and some investment scheme for your child and make your future secure. For your hubby and child' s scheme, you should be the first nominee and child should be second. Same with the house/property if you have any in the US. I am suggesting this as you have mentioned hubby is sending money to mother (which is infac something should be applauded, but only if its not at the cost of those for whom hubby is responsible).
As for hubby calling his mom, just ignore that. Try and understand them. They have been doing this all life. Your main aim should be to strengthen relationships as far as possible. So also, ignore mil' s crib about money.
If you are wondering why hubby doesnt tell things to you, then the answer is- that rapport/relationship is yet to be built in two of you, its just been little time you are together, and she is his mother. You can develop that by talking to him when he is back and asking him about his day, no nagging, no cribbing. Yet, overall, I wd say dont bother too much about it if you have a good relationship with hubby. We have got better things to do!
swati replied. atleast your husband talks after work and infront of u....mine talks from work everyday and i dont know how many times...we live in the us too. i dont even know what they talk abt...but on weekends i find out thru my FIL abt all that happened in my house during the week...how long have u been married for?
2007-07-27
#1
Name: SG Subject: mistake
u may not like to tell it ur hubby.
2007-07-27
#2
Name: SG Subject: think
take it this way that when u talk to ur husband ...u dont want it to be told to anyone else or somthing u share with ur mother u may like to tell ur hubby.Yes it wud be correct if they wud hv involved u in small/ big family issues...
But if after talking to them u hubby is not creating prob for u then u hv to just avoid this..or else slowly he will start talking behind u.
Yes u can start investing some amt of ur or his income for ur baby' s future. And slowly when after baby he will start feeling responcibilty for his own family then he may send less money to them.Try to understand from ur husband with an open mind whats ur inlaws condition for asking money agn & agn.Fix a certain monthly to be sent & if not sent in that month then keep it aside so that it canbe send from that fix money when needed.
Enjoy ur pregnancy!!
2007-06-29
#3
Name: Saheli Subject: re: abcd
Depending on your plans to stay in US or return to India, invest in life insurance schemes for both of you, and some investment scheme for your child and make your future secure. For your hubby and child' s scheme, you should be the first nominee and child should be second. Same with the house/property if you have any in the US. I am suggesting this as you have mentioned hubby is sending money to mother (which is infac something should be applauded, but only if its not at the cost of those for whom hubby is responsible).
As for hubby calling his mom, just ignore that. Try and understand them. They have been doing this all life. Your main aim should be to strengthen relationships as far as possible. So also, ignore mil' s crib about money.
If you are wondering why hubby doesnt tell things to you, then the answer is- that rapport/relationship is yet to be built in two of you, its just been little time you are together, and she is his mother. You can develop that by talking to him when he is back and asking him about his day, no nagging, no cribbing. Yet, overall, I wd say dont bother too much about it if you have a good relationship with hubby. We have got better things to do!
2007-06-28
#4
Name: swati Subject: i understand
atleast your husband talks after work and infront of u....mine talks from work everyday and i dont know how many times...we live in the us too. i dont even know what they talk abt...but on weekends i find out thru my FIL abt all that happened in my house during the week...how long have u been married for?
2007-06-28
#5
Name: abcd Subject: thanks for replying
hi swati,
i have been married for 1.5 yrs now,,relatively new i guess. I dont have any probs with DH at all..he tries his best to keep me involved from his end atleast. I just want to not think and get insecure abt this crap thats all.In fact u know they dont even call me , its always only on weekends they call wen DH is there like there main intention to call is to speak to them and i feel hurt by that....
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mistake
re: abcd
Name: abcd
thanks for replying
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