Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hello to everyone..
i am an educated woman in a sofisticated family. the family is a well renowned one in the city. my problem is that my in laws are so interfering in everything that i do or my husband does.. even his work or business. he has been in lots of trial and error in business and has not really succeeded thanks to their interference.

and even when he got a good job their involment in his work and everything was so much that finally he was blamed for every fiasco in the company and resigned. he was jobless for few months and during that time he realised that what mistakes he has done about saying every little thing about his work to his parents who give their own opinions when they dont know a thing. but after sometime he has got a new job and this time again he has started doing the same thing. i have explained to him from professional aspects and as a wife n friend, he says he has understood and will not repeat but it goes on the same way.

believe it or not but when he had this previous job out of town he did not call me to stay with him with some pretext or the other( my son was six months old).when i confronted him many times regarding our relationship he used to always say that he loves me and is only making me and my son stay with his parents because it makes them happy.

actually i work with my father in law and whatever i earn goes to him and he gives me money as my pocket money and not as what i earned. he runs the household, though my contribution is also quite a bit to it.

secondly now he has got a job in a good firm a good post but in another city.. he has promised me that he will call me as soon as he finds a house on rent. but his parents again are showing an indifferent attitude towards this. they dont want me to go again this time.. i can sense it they become too sweet to me at times. also my son is very attached to his grandfather and misses him when he is not around. so on that pretext they keep saying indirectly to me that he is so close to us he cant stay without us...

i donot get along with my MIL as she compares herself to me and always critisizes me in front of her husband about everything that she can think of( my complexion, my moods,my expressions, my dressing up ..) even the way i am raising my son. honestly i am not trying to praise myself but i am definitely better than her in all the aspects.. only one thing is lacking in me which is diplomacy. i am a little short tempered and i have back answered my in laws a few times when things have gone bad and because of this they have labelled me as bad tempered, arrogant, head strong female.

they even call pandits and ask them if everything is right in my kundali because of my attitude and as their son is not settling down after 5 yrs of marriage. i have borne with all sorts of petty things too like feng shui and vaastu and even dictating the terms where i should put what in my room. i have taken a lot from them but these people are so full of themselves that they have only self praise.

i am tired and my side of family too has come to this conclusion that their attitude is ridiculous. my husband is the one to take stand but he is so much under their shadow that i dont know how do i get that done.

i getting into depression and feel like leaving everything and going away somewhere... where i dont hve such psuedo people around me..

my son is 21 months old now and ready to go to playgroup.. he is a bright child and i want to give him love and care with all my heart that was once happy and ever smiling and not like a disturbed unhappy brooding mother.. pls help there is more to my woes but i hope you all friends their will spend their valuable time and give me some advice to go on..

help!
me2. Ritika replied. I think you need to go and stay with your husband..and find a job there for yourself if you want...

If you are not happy, you are not happy. You cannot be sad inside and put on a happy face for your child forever...

Tell your husband that you do not want him to be a virtual father...and yr child to grow up without his father being by his side...

Your child being attached to his grandfather is all fine...but all kids are like that..that does not mean that parents leave them at their grandparents place!

I mean - you two (yr husband and you) need to stay together as one family unit...your husband once he starts staying with you and yr baby will hopefully start enjoying the togetherness that comes from it...

All the best!!