Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

You please understand universal concept of marriage. Both sexes- men and women need each other for procreation of their children.It is the love that matters between the families and absolutely immaterial who shifts with whom.Particllarly in today' s time when families are breaking away. If a girl can not part with love to boy' s parents or vice versa, there is no point to stay together and make your and others' life miserable.
I will put forward you another concept- Why on marriage of one girl and boy both sides parents do not stay together?

I am intrigued by your last line. \" I am not against living with parents but there should be fairness ....\"
Are you saying you woul dlike both the husband s and wifes parents to live with the couple?
Now that would be an interesting dynamic!
How many of you reading these boards would like to have this model of a family?

Shelly,

Is´ nt is interesting that you yourself are taking it for granted that all (including girls and boys families) living together will not work out? Yet society takes it for granted that parents of the husband living with the couple has to work out and even if it does´ nt work out the parents have a right to stay with the couple?
What if the wife´ s parents stay with couple and the husband has a problem with it? Would it be OK for them to take it for granted that they have a right to live with the couple?
If you think logically and honestly " No one can take it for granted that they have a right to live with someone. But we do have a basic human right to seek happiness and peace in life" . If invalid and imbalanced traditions like " Only parents of the husband have a right to live with a couple" continue then the unhappiness, stress and all the other tragedies associated with it like female infanticide, treating the male child as a Godsend and the female child as someone one has to put up with till she gets married and is " seen off" , male chauvinism etc will remain in Indian society.
Please question yourself why is it that you and everyone in general take it for granted that both husband´ s and wives parents living together will never work out?
If there has to be fairness in relationships then either both partners families live together or both partners parents let the couple live as a nuclear family.
There cannot be hard and fast rules set in BOLD that ONLY HUSBANDS FAMILY IS ALLOWED TO MOVE IN WITH THE COUPLE.
I think we both agree on this.It is only on the fairness issue that we have slightly differnt perspectives.
Again I would like to retierate that I do not condone any person who forsakes responsibilities and breaks relationships with a selfish interest in mind so I hope that people who read my posts bear this mind and try to understand that my intent is only to make both men and women look at the root cause of the problem rather than turn away from it. One has to weed out the root cause otherwise there can be no cure. No amount of psychotherapy or counselling or laws can cure this malady.

All I was trying to say that there should not be a taboo in the society if the girls parents want to stay with the couple. Off course the model of all staying together will not work out. but in cases where the boys parents are not staying with the couple for any reason.. in our society the girls parents cannot treat that home as their own whereas the boys parents even if visiting breifly can do so.
I hope you understand.
the other point when i said that i am not against living with parents is because i dont beleive in forcing a right or wrong way. if the family can respect each other and stay together thats the way to go else live separately. and the word family should also include girls parents.