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Role of in-laws:drama

2006-12-16

Name: xyz Hi everyone
I am wondering if anyone could give me advice to handle the situation properly.when i delievered my first son , my mil made my life hell by saying girls are better than boys because her daughter had two girls. then she was snatching away my husband and intererfering in each and every thing which could make me happy. now her second daughter who delievered after 10 years of her marriage and its a boy. so whole attention is on her and her kid. that remind me my time , the sufferings because of my mil. i am happy for my sister in law but still i am not feeling comfortable with the attention she is getting from everywhere. i want to take revenge from my mil but i don't know how? can anybody tell me something so my mil gets message.my mil is now saying baby is so cute, my daughter is so brave this and that and i am so allergic to all this that this disturbs me.so please give me advice to handle this diplomatically. thanks

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Hi everyone
I am wondering if anyone could give me advice to handle the situation properly.when i delievered my first son , my mil made my life hell by saying girls are better than boys because her daughter had two girls. then she was snatching away my husband and intererfering in each and every thing which could make me happy. now her second daughter who delievered after 10 years of her marriage and its a boy. so whole attention is on her and her kid. that remind me my time , the sufferings because of my mil. i am happy for my sister in law but still i am not feeling comfortable with the attention she is getting from everywhere. i want to take revenge from my mil but i don't know how? can anybody tell me something so my mil gets message.my mil is now saying baby is so cute, my daughter is so brave this and that and i am so allergic to all this that this disturbs me.so please give me advice to handle this diplomatically. thanks ruchika replied. hi,
i know it really feel bad when MIL are always binding bridges of their daughters and continously finding tits and bits in her \" bahu\" .
dear XYZ i know u felt really bad that timebut if u now starts saying bad words or think of taking revenge then ur mind will work in that direction and u ll be distracted from ur hubby and ur kid i know the feeling of revenge will be there for ever so u can sometime \" at right time only \" can show ur feelings to her how u felt that time but very very politely otherwise she can spoil ur relation with ur husband by poisning his ears abt u.
best of luck yamini replied. Revenge or negative things dont \" hurt\" as much positive things do. If you repel back, MIL will enjoy it as hurting you has been the intention all this time, and seeing you repel back means prrof of you being hurt.

If you react the positive way, showing u r really happy, and offer help to MIL/SIL for the baby, join her to say baby is really cute. This should \" hurt\" her more.

I am using the word \" hurt\" in quotes because i dont really agree with hurting your MIL. Accor to me, you will be showing her the right way to behave by behaving like that, and u will also be proving urself as a mature and forgiving person.
I understand ur position, anyone will lose patience by such behavoir of MIL. But let it go yaar, think she is behaving kiddish. U dont hv to fall to her level to make her understand.

And remember that, somewhere in her heart, MIL also knows how she has behaved with you. Your positive behavior and maure approach will make her shameful in her own eyes though she cant say to anybody.

God is there to teach her a lesson. Why not spend thay time in thinking abt ur hubby and child instead?

2006-12-25

Name: ruchika
Subject:

MIL

hi,
i know it really feel bad when MIL are always binding bridges of their daughters and continously finding tits and bits in her \" bahu\" .
dear XYZ i know u felt really bad that timebut if u now starts saying bad words or think of taking revenge then ur mind will work in that direction and u ll be distracted from ur hubby and ur kid i know the feeling of revenge will be there for ever so u can sometime \" at right time only \" can show ur feelings to her how u felt that time but very very politely otherwise she can spoil ur relation with ur husband by poisning his ears abt u.
best of luck

2007-01-16

Name: xyz
Subject:

Thanks!!

Tha nks a lot for suggesting me to be calm and control my emotions. I am doing the same thing. Now the question is even if i am not saying anything to mil she is acting weird. on phone she doesn't talk much to me.same with fil(no need to expect something different from him). they talk in very taunting way and sil who had a baby, she is acting more weird. she is acting as if she is the only one who become mother. now when she talks she starts it like that, oh he is sleeping or about to wake up so in the meantime i thought i call you. and whatever she talks clearly shows that she wants to show that she is more intelligent than me(actually whole family talks like that). Now i am no more in the competition with tham still they don't leave any chance to humiliate me9indirectly though0. so could you please suggest some nice answers to give them when they try to act smart. I will really appreciate that.
Thanks once again

2006-12-19

Name: yamini
Subject:

Revenge or negative things dont \" hurt\" as much positive things do. If you repel back, MIL will enjoy it as hurting you has been the intention all this time, and seeing you repel back means prrof of you being hurt.

If you react the positive way, showing u r really happy, and offer help to MIL/SIL for the baby, join her to say baby is really cute. This should \" hurt\" her more.

I am using the word \" hurt\" in quotes because i dont really agree with hurting your MIL. Accor to me, you will be showing her the right way to behave by behaving like that, and u will also be proving urself as a mature and forgiving person.
I understand ur position, anyone will lose patience by such behavoir of MIL. But let it go yaar, think she is behaving kiddish. U dont hv to fall to her level to make her understand.

And remember that, somewhere in her heart, MIL also knows how she has behaved with you. Your positive behavior and maure approach will make her shameful in her own eyes though she cant say to anybody.

God is there to teach her a lesson. Why not spend thay time in thinking abt ur hubby and child instead?

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