Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello, I am so fed up of my mil's artificial nature. She is all so goody-goody and sweet talking infront and will talk bad things behind the back. She says she wants to keep good impression on everyone. For example she will be talking very nice things about me in front of me and say unbelievable horrible things about others (I used to suspect she does the same about me, but I felt that was just my imagination). I am kind of a person that i just can't bear this hypocrisy. If I dont like someone I can't put a nice and sweet face when that person is around. I know its wrong but I just can't be like my mil. She herself admits that she is an expert in talking bad only behind the back. As such she is good to me (maybe on my face) but once we had a small misunderstanding and then I saw how much she despises me. Now the thing is when I am around she is very good and well mannered with me, but me being myself again (can't be as sweet talking as her). I wish I didn't have that misunderstanding such that we both had good opinion about each other. Now even if she says nice things which she genuinely meant, I just keep thinking what she might be saying behind my back. I know its all in my mind but this is really killing me a lot. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks. asg replied. quiet natural to feel that way. Jyoti replied. Hi Chhaya,

Some women are very manipulative. My mil for example, she'll say one thing in when she's with one person and another when she's with another.One day over a small thing like -- i was using a steel spoon instead of a plastic one (that she wanted me to use), she started a fight with me, yelled at me for hours, told me how i couldn't do anything and how she's done everything spotless. Once i learned that she just didn't like anything i did and wanted to argue with me on everything. i just do my duty towards her and dont care about what she thinks or says to me or about me to others. her words and actions have no meaning to me. so i just let her be. it has helped me. just keep on doing what you think is the right thing to do. do you duty towards your husband's mother. so respect her as a mother, but don't wish for everything to be nice and smooth. I wanted that and it only hurt me inside. so i just stopped expecting, let her be and i keep on doing what i think is right.
good luck. don't kill yourself over it. don't feel bad, try to be indiffernt towards her.
hope this helps.