Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi friends,
I am just sick of my mil. When we visit her in india she doesn't let my hubby n me go alone anywhere she sticks to us each and every place. She will say she knows the shops etc. so she will help us in shopping not only this for certain things she will say oh u stay at home i will go with my son (my hubby) to do your shopping. I am like hello dont' have i any right to decide what i need to buy. Now she is here and in the same manner driving me nuts. Now she doesn't want me to accompany her here. when my hubby gets back from work she makes sure I don't go along with them. She will say oh i am going out with my son, I hope that's fine with u and gives me lots of tasks to complete. Either she will put something for cooking or start something just before my hubby is about to come back from work such that i stay back n don't go out with them. And then from there she will call n tell that they will get late. On weekends same thing happens she will say oh u work so hard everyday cooking cleaning etc. u rest my son n I will go out for shopping. She is too clever n cunning. How to deal with such a lady. I have told my hubby several times that she does this but then he is also helpless as he cannot say anything to his bossy mom. Please help me! Jyoti replied. Just a few thoughts, not sure what will work, but we DILs just have to keep trying until something works...

If she had the wisdom of her age, she would step back and let her son and dil run their life. but since she wants to be with her son all the time, there isn't much you can do, except make the most of little times you have together.
If she is at your place for a brief visit, i would just let her have all the time she wants with him. and come up with creative ways to spend more time with your husband. but your shopping, i would say somthing there...like, if i don't see it i don't know if i'll liek it or not. and i just want to go myself to look. and make it clear that you are the one who'll do your shopping, you wont' settle for what they bring home.
another option is go shopping without your husband, why do you need him around to go shopping? do you not have a car or something? if you are limited in that sense, then plan ahead and make it clear to everyone mil/fil/husband that YOU need to go out to so and so store. usually being firm and clear works.

good luck. frustrated replied. thanks friends for your kind reply. I tried this tactis of \" lets go together\" but she is so smart. Once or twice she agreed and now the new thing she has started is she makes my fil and I to stay at home (as she says her hubby doesn't like going out and look at this he agrees also). And she is free to hang around with her son. I just wonder this women doesn't have any respect for her husband also, so where do I sand. I am so angry! asdf replied. ur hubby is so sissy & a baby. can't he tell his mom lets all go out. does he need to take her to buy condoms too. 1st straghten ur hubby. when a man marries his 1st proirity is his wife. so next time use same tactics say lets go together i know the shops better than u. we'll eat out so don't cook in the evening or cook food in the morning for the whole day.....dear lady USE UR BRAINS!!!!! learn something from the older generation. NULLNULLNULL replied. if u strongly feel that you cannot bear this anymore, then you have to be smart. u said ur mil starts a job just before ur hubby comes from office. next time she does it, you can say, leave it maji, its time for him to come, you relax. or you can always say, maji how to do this??? i am not happy the way(say) food is turning out, not like how you make etc. u can also tell ur hubby to suggest next time lets all go out. if u can't do this grin & bear till she leaves. gunita replied. I think it is just a phase,may be she is longing for her son since you stay far off once you are out of india the problem would go .no doubt most of the MILs are cunning even i have one but in your case you have to bear her for a shortwhile,there are people who have life long commitment with such clever people.also talk to your husband and tell him that on some days we can have our food outside and lets do the shopping together or if he is a mummys baby then you can tell him lets go and get some surprise for his mother get some ordinary stuff but make sure you spend enough time with him also if you people have some friends in india visit to their place together keeping your MIL away