Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I have a very notorious kind of motherinlaw.kitty parties,movies,shopping,gossiping,creating differences among people and lying are her favourite passtimes.Not once in the past 10 yrs has she looked after my son for even 5 imins,but she insists that he must go and wish her all the three times in a day,he doesnt feel like so tries to avoid her on that she says that your mother has taught you all this behaviour.what should i do should i force my son to go and wish her or talk to her,even when he used to go on my forcing she would ask what is your mother doing or was she saying anything about me or what purchases has she made etc. etc.i only dont want my son to be in the position iam while he should concentrate in his studies,how can i tackle this problem kuntala replied. I know etiquette is very important. But I'm not a person who does not know how to do that. I've always been acknowledged for polite behaviour. But my mil wants to prove that my parents did not bring me up well and that after marriage I was enlightened by her. I learnt this ignoring business from my husband. I've seen him to be cool whenever my mil blames him for not controlling me. You get married, thinking that you are part of a new family and you land up being treated like an intruder. kuntala replied. Hmm. Dont tell me. I too had this crap business going on after marriage. My mil had ordered me thru my husband to wish her like a school teacher every time I had a darshan of her. I do greet people with \" Hi How are you\" in my day to day acquaintances, but I found it really funny doing that with my mil. Further I was not supposed to talk anything more. Just wish her. Even if I enquired about her health, she would sense something sinister from me. She did excellent bookkeeping. She would remember which morning I forgot to wish her and then immediately it would be my judgement day in her court. My my dont tell, how dramatic it would be. Finally it would lead to my parents upbringing. In the beginning, I did wish her like a good dil, because I did not want her to blame my parents. Now I've given up, I dont care what she says about me or my parents. I've started ignoring her. If you want a good name or are behind fake etiquette, then you can try forcing your son to wish her. And I know he wont do that, because your mil never built a good rapport with him ever since his birth. Dont feel guilty for being blamed for wrong upbringing. elena replied. Hi dear,
How old is your son? I think that you can talk with him - dont say nothing bad for your MIL to your son. If he feel that you respect her he will respect her too.
Do you know my MIL she is the same - she always ask my daughter - what your mum cooked? what she do? ................but i think that grandkids should love and respect their grandparents.