Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I have been reading the messages on these post for quiet sometime and was thinkin of posting my story too but was delaying. But lookis like the time has come. My situation is same as most of your's MIL,FIL and SIL's involvement in my 6yrs of married life with my hus always partial towards his family i,e MIL FIL AND SIL. I have a long long story. But what happened yesterday was shocking to me. Ours was a love cum arranged marriage and we are currently in US without IL's. I had to some work and my daughter was troubling me i,e I was using the restroom and she was constantly crying standing in front of the door and my hus was watching TV. I just could not control my anger and came out and started shouting at him saying that can't u c her crying and can't I use the restroom(every sec my daughter is with me all the time even when doing my private chores. He just got angry too and said let her cry and when i back answered(when he is on phone or doing his private chores he wants me to take care of her. He in any way does NOT help me in any work everything I do without any HELP) he just held me by my hand and pushed me in the restroom. I was totally SHOCKED at HIS behaviour and since then cannot stop crying. I am thinking of going back to India coz if I sit back now and forgive him he will in future take me for granted and one day he might even slap me or HIT me. so thinking of dealing it right now. I am so depressed that I donno what to do. He said sorry last night(no hug etc just uttered the word). Pl advice.
I am an educated girl with * of exp in IT field but right now on H4 becoz of my daughter.

Pl ignore the grammatical errors coz I am really shocked and depressed.

Thanks,
NeedHelp priya replied. Hi,
Before taking the step of going back to india ..talk to him once !
I understand eductaed Man raising hand on wife is not a good thing. But may be he lost his temper. Whatever it is Tell him you \" CANNOT\" tolerate this and once again if he does that ..you will inform ur parents .
Regarding hubby helping in household work .. thats a tough thing to do. I too trying very hard to make him do some work as I am a working mom . But whenever I give him some work .. He suddenly remembers he needs to go to restroom where he will sit for the next 30 mins with paper or he gets this one hour long official calls. So I end up doing it myself -:) !!!
But dont lose hope .. Give him a chance ! Things will get alright ! priya replied. Hi,
Before taking the step of going back to india ..talk to him once !
I understand eductaed Man raising hand on wife is not a good thing. But may be he lost his temper. Whatever it is Tell him you \" CANNOT\" tolerate this and once again if he does that ..you will inform ur parents .
Regarding hubby helping in household work .. thats a tough thing to do. I too trying very hard to make him do some work as I am a working mom . But whenever I give him some work .. He suddenly remembers he needs to go to restroom where he will sit for the next 30 mins with paper or he gets this one hour long official calls. So I end up doing it myself -:) !!!
But dont lose hope .. Give him a chance ! Things will get alright ! di bh replied. Hey dont bother too much.This time sit with your husband and tell him that u wont tolerate this behaviour again.Hey i have been there only thing is i didnt talk i just let it go my hubby got encouraged. of course my in laws same as u MIL,FIL and SIL (she and her dad are the ring leaders) are his big supporters. But i gave him back after 4 years of suffering. I live in US.i dont have kids.i have been there went thru mental physical abuse everything.Only last time i gave him a stern reply i called the cops.Now he is ok.But my in laws arent happy as they expected son and me to be separated. Such is their minds.Anyway dont bother about in laws too much.next time they say something give them a stern reply.Next time they will think twice.
As for your hubby u need to sit down and talk to him .Dont encourage this behaviour.You are a smart woman stand firm and give a straight talk and keep your parents and your family in the loop. i did it and my family helped me face it when i called the cops.They werent surprised as i had been thru it for quite some time.I Did not retaliate about his behaviour and regret it but ultimately i cud give back .Maybe not sooner but did it and it helped.
And also make your daughter spend some time with your husband .after some time u can also do your work or read when she is with her dad.Also he will feel responsible about her.Best of luck.