Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi frds,

My MIL is also same as she has also a desease of over possessivnes (ha ha ha) for his son..

i somehow accepted her nature after 3 yrs of marr and lots and lots of flghts and finally seperated kitchen system also...

now my problem is i hate my MIL and doesnt even feel like calling her mummy...
but i m working so i had to keep my maid and 9 months son with her ..

she is really outgoing person...
even after8 days of my delivey she has outstation for 15 days to attend a marriage...
and she shows so much concern for my baby and expects that he call him badi ma (which i refused)
he even created misunderstanding between my hubby and me when i was pregnent and 15days i was at my moms palce and he didnt even bother to call me to enquire abt my health now since i had a baby boy now ... she has become literlly chipko with my baby and doesnt bother to talk to me :(

from last one month she is abroad and coming back next month...
now i drops my baby in a nearby creche with maid...

Now she is comming back and i dont want to mingle my baby with her bec than she takes credit of every thing... i m doing for him.. i m doing that and truth is he she give one babana to him , we pay her for that fruit ...
and during holi my maid is also going home twon for one month...
than my MIL will not keep my baby w/o maid...
Now frds can u pls suggest how can i conveince my hubby that even my mil comes back let baby to continue going in creche bec than ard holi my maid will go ... how will i manage...

But deep down inside my feelings are that i dont want my baby to mingle with her and SIL also ... bec they dont talk to me and only talk to my hubby and babys... when he grows up what impression he will have of this situation
bec my SIL (2 marriaged) does same dont talk to me .. they only talk to my hubby and give gifts to my baby... but when i was pregent they even told my hubby to take divorec...

ONLY think is now i had a baby Boy so there cheap mentally of vansh has blown out of propotion.

well i have writeen quite a lot..
so frds plz give ur suggestions sr replied. Hi
I think you have to be very clever here...
Just say to hubby look its not MIL's age to do babysitting..she should be enjoying herself etc... i mean show that you care for her and are concerned.. and that way you can get to keep your baby at creche.
Good Luck psk replied. hi,
First of all my sincere advice is dont show your dislike towards your MIL and SIL explicitly since this will irritate your hubby and he will think that you r not respecting his parents and sister.so eventhough you dont like them ,just talk to them (even though they dont talk to U)atleast in front of your hubby and try to maintain a good relationship(i know it will be difficult at first)so that your husband will think that you are trying to keep up the relationship with your in-laws.
secondly it is unfair to keep your baby away from them.let them play with your baby any ways you are his mom that is not going to change and dont worry that your son will grow up with their qualities...when he is grown up he will defenetly understand who is right and who is wrong.so dont worry that your son will hate you if u allow him to be with them....
So if u cannot make up your mind to leave the baby with your MIL then try to find a Creache or daycare near your working place, so that you can leave him and bring him back by your self.I dont know how old is your MIL..If she is old then give her the reason that it will be difficult for her to look after the baby the whole day so you are leaving him in the creache and that she can take rest..
Anyways,you will be tired after your work so leave him to your MIL after you return home let her look after him in the evenings in front of you/your hubby..
Let me make onething clear if you are living with your MIL under the same roof you cannot control your son or hubby not to talk to her or mingle with her.Her only mistake is she is over possessive.yes i know that is difficult for u to digest if your are ignored.but dont do the same thing what they do..and dont expect the same treatment for you like your hubby or your son.if you are accepting it or not, they are their blood and defenetly she will have more concern for them.THIS IS THE REALITY .one more thing dont put everything in your mind and get confused cause it will supress your growth in your work.you cannot work peacefully if you are thinking what happened and what will happen to you during the working hours.So be relaxed and try to leave your son at home (so that you can save that money)as your MIL wont be doing any harm to your son.your son also wont miss the home.and sorry to say that if you are in India all the creaches are not that good and he can easily get the infections and that make the situation more worse..
Try to think about what i,ve said.just be cool and enjoy your life with your hubby and your lovely son..ALL THE BEST.