Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi

I am vinaya again. I am here again, my emotions forced me to write to you all again. It is again the same problem of in-laws, back in my house this year. They are creating tension in the family

I thought my relationship was ok with them this year, when there are here to visit us, so far things were fine, i was able to maintain a cordial relationship with them, but u know I have one sil who keeps adding oil to fire, she is still doing it after so many years of our marraige, so now there is a big crack in the relationships but lucky my husbands understands the problem that i am facing, believe me i didn't even utter a word to my in-laws when they talk nonsense, i just keep tolerating and tolerating, until now i feel i lost all the patience for it.

We gave them all that we could, even beyond our strength, though i say to myself that i shouldn't worry about all this the thought is killing me a lot. I feel like dying, so that i don't have to put up with the problems that in-laws are giving me. If i talk to them, they find faults in it, if i don't talk to them, they are more angry, i don't know what to do, infact my hubby is also very scared of his parents, so he is also tolerating, why? must they create so much problem in the family,. I think i will have a nervous breakdown, sooner or later. Any suggestions friends. LightsOut replied. SIL and parents. What the hell is next? Are these people living with you? OK, why is everyone tolerating such crass behaviour? A family meeting needs to come in order. Furthermore, that damn' SIL needs to take a hike. Allright, your husband needs to be a MAN! You both, need to face the issues together. Communication with firmness helps. I, believe that if someone treats you like a stranger. Please, do no different to them. Currently, my family is in the process to help my sister with a divorce. Life, no matter where you live is hectic. Respect, is the cornerstone in life. Someone, if they can't relate to that-then let them go!! Goodness prevails over evil. Why are people so testy? Please, let me also remind you that any kind of abuse. Abuse, such as mental is deadly then physical. Spiritually, your family needs to find a higher power. Once, this spiritual connection is made-then things can smooth out. Good luck. divya replied. Hi Vinaya,
I really cant give u any advice, because it is very difficult to tolerate such behaviour from inlaws and they will never understand how much good you do for them. DIL work is to take and take and take.
Vinaya replied. Thank you for ur support, I think i should talk to somebody about it otherwise with working stress together i will definetly go mad.

xyz replied. Hi Vinaya,
I can completely understand ur situation. My in-laws r the same(especially my mil). No matter what i say or don't say they r never happy. there is not a single day that goes by when i don't think abt the way they have behaved with me or worry about my future.

They put me down all the time. I have started losing confidence in myself which had never happened to me before marriage since my parents always made me feel that i am someone special.

I can understand ur thoughts of dying but DON'T EVER think about anything like that. If something happens to u its ur parents who r going to suffer not ur in-laws.

Talk abt ur problems with ur husband. If he does not understand u, think abt meeting a therapist/psycologist - NOT BCOZ THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH U but sometimes talking to somebody who understands u makes u feel better.

I am myself planning to meet a therapist just to talk abt my feelings and to vent my anger. If i don't take any steps now i will lose all my confidence and will have a nervous breakdown in a few years. And i certainly don't want to see my in-laws having the pleasure of seeing their dil depressed. That would mean they have achieved their goal. i will not let that happen

i would suggeast u to do the same i.e. meet a therapist. If u r in the u.s. ur insurance will cover the visits.
(it would be better if u can find indian therapists, they will understand ur situation better)

Take care and DON'T GIVE UP HOPE