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Role of in-laws:is there a remedy

2006-09-03

Name: shruti with all sorts of bitter experiences i have developed strong dislike for my in laws But my hubby keeps on pushing me to build terms with them.Infact i feel like running away from him now.I cannot please anyone for whom i dont have any respect.is this an abnormal feeling.
why my husband does not understand me
i have not stopped him from maintaing his relations. But i hate to be forced into the same mess.His father is a m.c.* ( to which my hubby himself agrees ) i cannot stand people like that what shud i do
i have talked to him several times

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with all sorts of bitter experiences i have developed strong dislike for my in laws But my hubby keeps on pushing me to build terms with them.Infact i feel like running away from him now.I cannot please anyone for whom i dont have any respect.is this an abnormal feeling.
why my husband does not understand me
i have not stopped him from maintaing his relations. But i hate to be forced into the same mess.His father is a m.c.* ( to which my hubby himself agrees ) i cannot stand people like that what shud i do
i have talked to him several times kuntala replied. oh yeah, all such abnormal feelings are common after marrying into the wrong family. I don't know why we girls and our families fail to notice such behaviours before marriage. In India, marriages are taken for granted. Anyways, don't worry, these unusual feelings will disappear after some five or six years. Because by then, it would have been a routine and you don't care anymore for such feelings. Though my husband knows that we will get bricks and bats from my ils, he forces me to maintain a cordial relationship with them. Its more like how two enemy countries try to maintain relationships. You always try to be diplomatic. kalpana replied. HI shruthi,

I am in the same boat as yours. I had tried confronting my husband with all IL issues, but it just created more problems in our married life.

After an extreme situation, I just stopped being sweet to them, I am just ignoring them these days. I donot bother about what my husband does with them. But I don't force myself to please them even when my husband pleads me ....

I feel very light these days. Very less tensions.

I do get angry when they create dramas while visiting us ... but I just learnt to ignore.

-Kalpana sherry replied. shruti first of all be very very reserved to your inlaws.i know these people are such bullshit people that they can ruin your life.dont give away to these idiots whims and fancies.talk very little only when required othewise a snobbish attitute is correct for those .....tell ur husband to do and amaintain his relationships with them but not force you to otherwise it can hamper ur married life

2006-09-06

Name: kuntala
Subject:

oh yeah, all such abnormal feelings are common after marrying into the wrong family. I don't know why we girls and our families fail to notice such behaviours before marriage. In India, marriages are taken for granted. Anyways, don't worry, these unusual feelings will disappear after some five or six years. Because by then, it would have been a routine and you don't care anymore for such feelings. Though my husband knows that we will get bricks and bats from my ils, he forces me to maintain a cordial relationship with them. Its more like how two enemy countries try to maintain relationships. You always try to be diplomatic.

2006-09-05

Name: kalpana
Subject:

suggestion

HI shruthi,

I am in the same boat as yours. I had tried confronting my husband with all IL issues, but it just created more problems in our married life.

After an extreme situation, I just stopped being sweet to them, I am just ignoring them these days. I donot bother about what my husband does with them. But I don't force myself to please them even when my husband pleads me ....

I feel very light these days. Very less tensions.

I do get angry when they create dramas while visiting us ... but I just learnt to ignore.

-Kalpana

2006-09-06

Name: EO
Subject:

Hey Kalpana

Kalpana...what do you do when you go to India? I am asuming you live abroad, or atleast don't live with them. How do you handle it, that you ignore you ILs and still they complaint to your husband and make him all mad about you? Do they tell him how rude you are?

2006-09-03

Name: sherry
Subject:

try this

shruti first of all be very very reserved to your inlaws.i know these people are such bullshit people that they can ruin your life.dont give away to these idiots whims and fancies.talk very little only when required othewise a snobbish attitute is correct for those .....tell ur husband to do and amaintain his relationships with them but not force you to otherwise it can hamper ur married life

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