Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I am married for 7 yrs with 2 kids. mIne was love marriage my husband's family had very strong opposition and they even continued for upto 2 yrs after our marriage. They didnt even bother to see their son whether he was alive or dead. My family was supportive but not happy i guess they gave up on me. We had very bad time in earlier days of marriage we didnt even have enoguh money to survive. We literaly started from scratch. My hubby is a Software eng. i always knew we will pass this phase and get settled one day which we did. now we own a house car eveything which is required for luxury life. But now suddenly my MIL is become very very caring towards my husband. we did patch up after 3 yrs of my marriage when i was pregnant with my first child. But i am very strong and mu fat kind so they stayed away not bothering me much we just met occasionally on festivals etc.I realised that my mil is very caring in front of my hubby and when he is not aorund she takes different roop. but since i used to be ther at their place only for 2 hrs max i never messed things up. But during my 2nd delivery my hubby bought her at my place for taking care intension inspite of my telling him he did it as he had travel abroad for a month and was worried i allowed with good intention of bonding. BUt no she started talking shit with my neighbours and i had lot of prob i did not utter a word in front of her but told to my hubby. he wanted me to adjust and allow her to stay at my place i dont have fil. but i refused after what had happened now hubby is taken a step that he wont contact his mom again in future and that he does not want to keep any relations with her. I sometimes feel bad i never stopped him from meeting her or going to his mom's place but only this instance has put everything on my back i have a feeling i broke his mom from him which is not the case. for 5 yrs i have been on my own solving my problems without anyones; guidance when i needed someone ther was no one i feel that since now everything is very very happy at my home this things are done purposefully. i am really confused. i have a very storng guilty feeling. i love my husband so does he but this one topic has made our life hell its been 2 months he has not called his mom or met. she called up n number of times but he did not respond. one day she even came home to find out what happened but my hubby just did not talk a word to her. she asked me whats worng i said i dont know and she was so furious but did not react i cud just know . pl. guide me kikilia replied. Tell your husband you appreciate him standing by you and being supportive. Also tell him that you don't wish for him to have nothing more to do with his mother, but that you wish not to see her anymore.

Let him know that it is okay with you for him to visit her- she just isn't welcome in your home because of how she treated you.

Tell him that if he chooses not to see her- you don't want it to be because of you, you love him and if wants to see his mother it is okay. If he still chooses to cut off contact- then he needs to tell her why- even if it's in a letter. Perhaps it would change her behavior to know this from her son.

Good luck!