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Role of in-laws:how to handle this situation ?

2006-07-01

Name: PB Dear friends
I have been married for over 3 yrs and have had my share of inlaw problems. My husband did not like my family and finally this year we came to an agreement that I will not meet his family if he does not meet mine. So, since the beginning of this year, for 7 months, I have not met his parents (he meets his parents on his own). My parents live at home in India.
Now, my husband's birthday is coming up, and I guess I will have to meet his parents. I dont mind meeting them, but at the sametime, I want my husband to meet my family too in India (we live in the UK and will go for our yearly visit). Judging from the past, every time I give into my husband's wants (example meeting his parents now), when the time comes for him to meet my parents, my husband always backs out, with an excuse.
Can you please advise me how to handle the situation, so that my husband does not back out this time ? Thank you....

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Dear friends
I have been married for over 3 yrs and have had my share of inlaw problems. My husband did not like my family and finally this year we came to an agreement that I will not meet his family if he does not meet mine. So, since the beginning of this year, for 7 months, I have not met his parents (he meets his parents on his own). My parents live at home in India.
Now, my husband's birthday is coming up, and I guess I will have to meet his parents. I dont mind meeting them, but at the sametime, I want my husband to meet my family too in India (we live in the UK and will go for our yearly visit). Judging from the past, every time I give into my husband's wants (example meeting his parents now), when the time comes for him to meet my parents, my husband always backs out, with an excuse.
Can you please advise me how to handle the situation, so that my husband does not back out this time ? Thank you.... bb replied. hi dear,

why dont u do one thing... tell him ok i will meet ur parents this tm also..... but why dont u meet my parents... why u call my mom \";mummy' are u not feeling from heart or saying it for the sake of it..... emotinal black mailing and all....

Go and meet his parents in very reseved manner... do only to the points talk.....my dear there is no escape.... u have to meet them... i m also going thru same problem..... so go and meet them but maintain the distance... and if ur hubby tries to avoid meeting ur family than dont worry... as times passes everything will be alright.... but dont show it to ur husband that u dont want to meet his parennts... why maintain a distance with them ...
After 2-4 visits at ur inlaws place than u can tell ur hubby in a polite manner that ur mom was remebering him a lot.... try to mold him...
i know its very very very difficult to mold a person towards his in laws but try try and till u succed

And Dear after marriage in any circumstance we have to adjust with our husband and jheloo our inlaws... we cann't totally cut off with them.... life is too long.... maintain a relation in a very very reserved manner.
Bye
BB SR replied. Hi

Hope you're well.

Well the only thing I can suggest is that get him to meet your parents first then meet his parents.. Refuse to meet his ones until he's met yours.
I take it his parents are in India too.

2006-07-26

Name: bb
Subject:

No escape

hi dear,

why dont u do one thing... tell him ok i will meet ur parents this tm also..... but why dont u meet my parents... why u call my mom \";mummy' are u not feeling from heart or saying it for the sake of it..... emotinal black mailing and all....

Go and meet his parents in very reseved manner... do only to the points talk.....my dear there is no escape.... u have to meet them... i m also going thru same problem..... so go and meet them but maintain the distance... and if ur hubby tries to avoid meeting ur family than dont worry... as times passes everything will be alright.... but dont show it to ur husband that u dont want to meet his parennts... why maintain a distance with them ...
After 2-4 visits at ur inlaws place than u can tell ur hubby in a polite manner that ur mom was remebering him a lot.... try to mold him...
i know its very very very difficult to mold a person towards his in laws but try try and till u succed

And Dear after marriage in any circumstance we have to adjust with our husband and jheloo our inlaws... we cann't totally cut off with them.... life is too long.... maintain a relation in a very very reserved manner.
Bye
BB

2006-07-03

Name: SR
Subject:

Hi

Hope you're well.

Well the only thing I can suggest is that get him to meet your parents first then meet his parents.. Refuse to meet his ones until he's met yours.
I take it his parents are in India too.

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