Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello friends,

I recently came across this board and have gone through most of the posts.
We all seem to be having similar problems. YES its 'INLAWS'!!! I am so pissed
off at my inlaws right now. We live abroad.
My hubby's brother also live here but in a differnt city very far from our place.
My bil is inviting his parents (my inlaws) for his
wife's delivery. And he wants us to bare the expenditure for their trip (tickets
etc.) My hubby has agreed for that. His parents don't have enough money to buy their
tickets n bil says he can't afford right now as he will have a lot of expenditure
with the baby.

Earlier I didn't say anything was just sulking on my own.
Now what i hear is my inlaws have said they won't be visiting us. And will only
go to my bil's place since his wife is expecting. According to my mil 'what
work she has at our place'. (So is it that parents visit their kids only when there's some work!!!) Now I am so angry at my hubby that why he has to agree to pay for their trip when his parents will only visit their other son
not us. And then we have to go and visit them every now and then at my bil's place (who will take care of that expenditure).

Plz friens give some suggestions. Should I fight with my hubby over this.
Has anyone ever run into this kind of problem.
thanks in advance. saheli replied. U r so lucky that your inlaws are just charging you money and not visiting you. Here my in-laws are charging me for life as well as living on my head. I can't imagine someone could have this problem of in-laws not visiting. I wish I had that issue. My in-laws came here to the US one fine day and haven't gone back till now even after 8 years.
If I could pay some money like you get rid of them I would have paid a lot more than what your husband would be spending.
My sil's are all enjoying the convenience of having their parents nearby and I am the one bearing all the inconveniences. They never took care of my kids, we pay for their health insurance, they got their surgeries done here for which we paid 20% of 100K each. Not to miss they interfere in every aspect of my life, nag me but having ball of time themselves coz their son is always at their beck and call.
The whole family emerged winner in this arrangement and I am the one who is a big loser in all this coz my parents never visit me saying ur in laws are there so it will be so inconvnient for us. Coz they came twice and got major insults from them.
Anyways so be happy with what you have and don't dream about taking them out and being nice to them. It just does'nt work.

x replied. When I was expecting ,my parents and after a few months my in-laws came from india to see the baby.

My sister paid for my parents tickets and my BIL for my in-laws. In fact we asked both of them not to. But they said having a baby is a lot of expense in the U.S. You pay for the tickets next time.

(I have a LOT of problems with my in-laws. They have given me a hell of time - even when I was pregnant! But we don't have fights related to money matters)

All I want to say is having a baby in the U.S is expensive. A crib, car seat etc etc. You easily spend a couple thousand dollars. May be ur BIL's family is in financial need. Do help them this time. They will help u guys when u r in need.

As for the rest of family problems, thats a different issue. Don't take nonsense from anyone.

And like others said consider urself lucky that ur in-laws did not visit u. i wish mine hadn't.





Latha replied. Dear friends,

thanks for all ur replies. I know that its kind of crazy of me
to wish they visited my place. but i really want them to come
and stay with us. I want to take them around, cook for them.
Make their visit enjoyable. I had already planned about that :(
I am not a bad person to think that my inlaws r a burden n they
should not visit me. Well, I really dont' care much for the money as well.

The major problem is my inlaws attitude towards me. Ours was a
love marriage n I am from a different caste. No matter how much
I try my inlaws r never happy with me. And no matter how mean my co-sis is
with them they like her.

Dias their main reason for not visiting me is that I always had to fight inorder to visit my parents, during our india trip,(they never allow me to visit my parents). Now my inlaws wants to pay me for that by not visiting us.

Anyway, its his parents, if they r biased n want to visit one son's place
n not others' then what can i do!

thank you firends for all ur help!
abc replied. u shud be happy they r not visiting u. whenever inlaws come its trouble and nothing else.....u have a strange opinion!!!!!!! u shud be rather happy. why bother abt the expenditure. its ur husband's money and they r his parents. i i were in ur plc i wud not have bothered abt money and only want peace of mind. Dias replied. Dear latha,
Let him sponser them.
But do u thing there is any other reason for them to not to visit you?!

If it's only other DIL's delivery,Just accept their decsion with good heart.
Because It seems they r good at DILs and will help you too some day .

Dont think for expenditures in goingand visiting ur Co-Sister's place.Even If ur in-laws come ur place ,then also , u need to spend a lot money for showing them .Of course u shd never mind in spending in that way.

So,Accept how they r until they r not creating unnecessary scenes and passing odd comments on u .Money is always major constraint in saving good terms in families.

If they r good other way ...Pl accept their decisions and visit them and stay cool.

I've seen many in-laws mentally torturing DILs with their brainwashing programs to SOns...etc...Ur inlaws r not expecting anything from u . So dear,just make a casual visit and bless that baby with good gifts ,....and return with cool mind! Best of luck!

Take Care Dear! horrible replied. I will say you are really lucky.no inlaw trouble.there is nothing wrong in sponsering,they are his parents.but you guys there is no need to go now and then just visit them once when the baby arrives and then take care of your own work. latha replied. friends plz tell me what to do?
I am waiting for ur reply!