Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello,
well i have been married for 8yrs,and in my 2nd year of marraige i came to States and my motheriin law came with me too and she started telling all kind of stuff to my husband like i drank the kids milk,i am wasting lot of vegetables and i am a big curse to this family and i always watch television without taking care of my kids and my husband is always on her side and he believed her and she also told things like i donot wash his clothes and nor iron his clothes and he believed all this and keeps on trusting this things that his mother told and even today he tells me you are wasting the vegetables and now i wash his clothes but since he has been telling that i donot iron his clothes .now i have stopped ironing his clothes and now he doesnot let me buy the vegetables that i think is good for my kid as a mother i know better what kids like and he goes to buy vegetables all by himself and nowdays he says i will cook the food and you do all the washing cleaning and feed the kids,so i told him since you are cooking you need to feed the kids as my elder kid is very picky in eating i prepare the food in such a way that he like it and nutritious too .but i think my husband is only interested in money,he comes to the kitchen ,checks the refrigerator and asks me all kind of questions,every day if i offer the same food ,my kids donot like it but my husband says you are wasting vegetable.i donot to know what to do,now my mother-inlaw doesn't stay with me.but the thing that she has told my husband about me he is still on it. for 3days i am just cleaning washing and doing house work and I also work and i earn and all the money goes to his account but i work in a departmental store i earn little not like him.but please help me how ot solve htis problem. Latha replied. You have been married for 8years, speak up and be strong, tell you husband not to interfere in the minute details of the household stuff and instead teach the kid some thing valuable. Be strong and assertive. Whether you work or you dont work, it isn't correct for him to nag you everyday for such small things earning a good salary on his own. vs replied. I think you have tolerated too much too long.To be reminded of a few mistakes(if at all)commited when newly married thru the years is JUST NOT DONE.Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that you are also a mature person who puts in long working hours for a little money and that you value money as much as him. Set down a monthly expenditure budjet and both of you stick to it.Dont let him question you when you stay within the limit and question him when he goes overboard.Show you are a equally responsible partner in the house and not someone he can push around.please dont overwork at home just to please your husband. asyou have found out,it is doing no help. xxx replied. If your husband wants to cook. Let him cook. Also let him shop groceries. Since you are working let him also share the chores.

I don't think its right to give all your earnings to your husband. Keep some for yourself.

You need not have to prove to your husband about who is more knowledgeable in caring for kids. Its just division of labour at home. You are lucky atleast your husband is willing to cook. Some mother-in-laws don't allow their sons to work at home, but expect their dils to take on all the responsibility of the household chores plus work outside also.

Do you discuss your household expenses and savings with your husband or you just blindly carry on household chores and leave all the monetary business to him ?