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Role of in-laws:Thanks gals!

2006-03-08

Name: Angelica Thanks gals for you suggestions obviously they are all well meant but I cannot adopt any of the strategies suggested to me because I cannot do something that I find disgusting in others just to teach them a lesson. It is against my beliefs I have long ago come to the conclusion that there really is no solution to the problem and that is the truth. I have to accept my fate, I feel badly for FreakyDesi. At least in my case I have a really nice man for a hubby and the only reason I put up with the crap is I cannot bear to see him so torn by this situation so I try not to make it worse for him. In fact I also put up with MIL because she brought him up to be a nice guy. But of course her eccentricity and selfcenteredness puts me off and naturally I get stressed out with her around and I would give anything in the world for her not to stay with us but what can I do? We feel duty bound by values that really do not make sense to follow but we lack the courage to defy those values.
The Gita preaches Do your actions without expecting fruits of them. Sadly most people do not live by this least of all mothers of sons! My MIL feels triumphant that she only concieved male offsprings and I have never understood why women feel so happy when they have sons. They get too attached to them and can never let go of them when it time to let go. This is the root cause of the MIL DIL problem. They raise sons with the expectation that he will pay back in old age. Let us not do this to our sons. Let us set them free! Of course living in the USA the land of the free we have no option but to let them free!

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Thanks gals for you suggestions obviously they are all well meant but I cannot adopt any of the strategies suggested to me because I cannot do something that I find disgusting in others just to teach them a lesson. It is against my beliefs I have long ago come to the conclusion that there really is no solution to the problem and that is the truth. I have to accept my fate, I feel badly for FreakyDesi. At least in my case I have a really nice man for a hubby and the only reason I put up with the crap is I cannot bear to see him so torn by this situation so I try not to make it worse for him. In fact I also put up with MIL because she brought him up to be a nice guy. But of course her eccentricity and selfcenteredness puts me off and naturally I get stressed out with her around and I would give anything in the world for her not to stay with us but what can I do? We feel duty bound by values that really do not make sense to follow but we lack the courage to defy those values.
The Gita preaches Do your actions without expecting fruits of them. Sadly most people do not live by this least of all mothers of sons! My MIL feels triumphant that she only concieved male offsprings and I have never understood why women feel so happy when they have sons. They get too attached to them and can never let go of them when it time to let go. This is the root cause of the MIL DIL problem. They raise sons with the expectation that he will pay back in old age. Let us not do this to our sons. Let us set them free! Of course living in the USA the land of the free we have no option but to let them free! prabha replied. Hi,

I don't really understand why mothers want their sons to be married .
Once they are married they create lot of problems to their daughter in law.
Whole lot of insecurity . Why should they get them married !!!!!!
If every mother in law thinks that their daughter-in-law is also like her daughter their won't be any problem in this world.
when will this happen!!!!!
priya

2006-03-08

Name: prabha
Subject:

There should be a change

Hi,

I don't really understand why mothers want their sons to be married .
Once they are married they create lot of problems to their daughter in law.
Whole lot of insecurity . Why should they get them married !!!!!!
If every mother in law thinks that their daughter-in-law is also like her daughter their won't be any problem in this world.
when will this happen!!!!!
priya

2006-03-09

Name: a dil
Subject:

Good question

hi Prabha,
I also wonder "why mothers want their sons to be married" actually mil wants grandkids n without a dil how's that possible, that too in india ;)
If there was a way to produce a legal grandkid without marrying their son off, mil would have surely used that method in order to eliminate the presence of a dil in their lives (but so far that has not been possible). Also fear of society is there (as such commonly said in India "bachho kee shaadi ka bojh") I think that's another guilt mil's want to overcome. (but all this is applicable only to those mean n selfish mils' who just can't see their son happy with their wife)
I too very much wish if all mils treated their dils as their own daughters, then there wouldn't be such problems.

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