Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

i all,,

my problem is similar to most of u all on this board...nowdays even im very irritated n depressed abt my life.

my inlaws r nice and caring...but the problem is that they are interfering.my hubby is the only son,so MIL is very possesive about him.even small things happen to him..she gets tensed and worried making the atmosphere of the house dull.
i can understand some mother's have insecurity problems after marriage of their son..but she knows we are staying with them.i also love my husband and equally concerned abou him,but do not react in way she reacts.she always wants her way,n if no like that then gets upset and tensed.
otherwise she is nice to me till now(i dont know what happens in future)but some things abou her irritates me.she is a little interfering in our lives...ok i sometimes take it in right spirit as she is caring..but what irritates me more is when she tells everything to my SIL on phone.all about our peronnel life.till in laws it fine we discuss things with them,but y she needs to tell my SIL all this.and my SIL is very much interested about whats happening in our house.she is married not staying with us,but she knows all whats happening in our house,cause my mom in law tells her.i mean its ok if she tells general things..but not about our personel life..my SIL is concerned as how my hubby behaves with them after marriage,whats happening i our life etc.i never ask my MIL whats happening in her life then y is she concerned about our life.once me and my hubby had argument on some thing so we didnt speak to each other th day.i guess my in laws came to know tht something happened between us,but they were quite.but MIL got tense and told her daughter,now what can her daughter do in this situation frm so far.we both became normal the nxt day.every married couples have small issues but its ok,v sor it out ourselves.i got irritated tht y she told her daughter.not that she has been bad to me but she knows all things about me and hubby.i told my hubby all this,he said to me give some time he will explain to mom that not to blurred out things of house to her place.i trust him,even he didnt know tht mom said this to her,but i knew it because she spoke this to her daughter on phone.
problem is tht she eaily gets tensed on small things.im still young,ok.in life i will also have ups and down if my mom in law dosent support or gives me courage to handle things then i will be very depressed husband is there,but i cannot eat his head all the time on small things.in laws have to understand as much as they need support we also need it.but i dont like ten people interfering in our lives.i will stop telling or sharing things with her if she tells her daughter.i feel soo bad when she blurs out family things to her..her daughter is married now.she should mind her own business rather than interfering in our family matters.
im upset n irritated.plez help uma replied. hi friend ...
My MIL also tells everything to her daughter on phone.

Let me tell you, it is not possible to stop it 100% (unless your SIL itself says so!)

I came to know through our maid that my MIL tells everything to my SIL over phone. I did not want to tell MIL that the maid told me because i did not want to stop this source of information.

However, I started telling this to my hubby in very casual ways - we all know hubby's do nothing and dont speak against mothers, thats what i wanted. I wanted to let this go for a few times. Then, when once something serious happened between MIL and me - and next day maid told me that everything has been communicated to SIL, i again casually told it to hubby and also said i am not expecting him to react on this.

But - after that when the family was planning to go to SILs place for something, I talked to hubby and said - \";i dont know what impression SIL has about me, I feel ashamed to go to her place, what must she be thinking about me, she knows only one side of matters. Till now i thought she knew nothing about our matters, but now that i know she knows, i dont feel comfortable going there'.

Then i refused going to her 2-3 times. Once when they visited us, I gave reasons of office work and left for office after entertaining them a little. This trick worked on hubby.

He did \";discuss\"; this with his mother, but i dont think she has completely stopped doing it. My maid tells me that MIL whispers to SIL over phone.

I am prepared. I have clearly told my hubby that if i see this happening again, i am gonna talk about family matters to one of their relatives (this relative is close to me but is a big mouth). This is not the right way, i know. MIL can do the same with my relatives - but i am prepared.

Just telling u what i did. Take suggestions and decide on your own! hi replied. hi friend


i understand u dear. i am also in same situation. now it is about six years and studied a lot

my mil would interfere with everything. means if my husband says ' i have a slght headache, why to say such a thng, if he is not smiling always, if he is thnking somethng, all she will start telling, 'oh my son is having some problem. he is in tension. don't know dear, she'll create a drama. but my husband remans calm. but he also don't say anything. luckily he is the only son. but mil will say everything to her brother and sister. everything.

so dear friend, i now will not tell anything to her that is really important or asre anything with ere.
i am keeping her at a distance.

also she will not show that type of concern about me.

because they seemed to be loving( i don't know about that dear, bcause pure motherly love is not like this) u can safetly keep them at the distance. start that now. otherwise we'll feel congested.

once my kids born , my god, she thnks she is the only mother in the world.

but now i know things, i'm the mother, i'll decide thingds for my kids.
i'll make her understand that lovingly.
i sad this because, otherwse, if u don't move wisely, we'll get tensed during all these things.

love ur mil. show that to her. but alkways keep her in the safe distance.

do url husband's things by urself.

if u have any doubt, ask ur mother. don't rely on mil.

deasr friend. thids married life is such a mysterious path,

SO WE HAVE TO BE VERY WISE STRONG AND THOUGHTFUL AND WE'LL BE HAPPY. WHEN U HAVE A PROBLEM THINK ABOUT THAT, DEFENITELY U'LL HAVE ASOLUTION, IF U THINK POSITIVELY
NEVER EVER THINK NEGATIVELY, IT'LL NOT GIVE US AN SOLUTIONS.

consider our mil's as small hearted persons.little se4lfish also. ignore them as possible

WITH LOTS OF LUV
UR FRIEND