I have been married for 6 months. My in-laws organized the wedding in India since I live with my parents in US. When it came time for my parents to pay them for the wedding venue and the catering, they charged my parents twice the original amount. My parents are blindly trusted my in-laws and gave them whatever amount they asked for. But my in-laws took advantage of our trust. They did not even buy bridal outfits for me which I was supposed to get from them in my marriage. Now, when I confronted my hubby about his family's greedy actions, he and his parents blame my family for everything. I used to respect him and his family like my own. But, now I have lost trust in my husband because he lies to defend his family. I'm very sad that my marriage was turned into a business profit by his family. I feel soo unlucky to have been married into a greedy, cheap family.
My husband is still in India..waiting for his US spouse visa to be issued. I'm not sure, that I trust him enough to sponser him to the US because what his family did with us, he can do that with me when he comes here.
Please help me, am I feeling the wrong way about him?
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I have been married for 6 months. My in-laws organized the wedding in India since I live with my parents in US. When it came time for my parents to pay them for the wedding venue and the catering, they charged my parents twice the original amount. My parents are blindly trusted my in-laws and gave them whatever amount they asked for. But my in-laws took advantage of our trust. They did not even buy bridal outfits for me which I was supposed to get from them in my marriage. Now, when I confronted my hubby about his family's greedy actions, he and his parents blame my family for everything. I used to respect him and his family like my own. But, now I have lost trust in my husband because he lies to defend his family. I'm very sad that my marriage was turned into a business profit by his family. I feel soo unlucky to have been married into a greedy, cheap family.
My husband is still in India..waiting for his US spouse visa to be issued. I'm not sure, that I trust him enough to sponser him to the US because what his family did with us, he can do that with me when he comes here.
Please help me, am I feeling the wrong way about him?
loveguru replied. Dear megha or divya whoever you are, as you are writting your problem again & again with different names i understand that you r really confused today.
i want to give my opinion to you, so try to understand my points.
at first you said that your in-laws had arranged the whole party,you write this in just a line but megha, this is not easy to arrange a big party, it was a big responsibility on them. They did it only because your parents were not able to do this as they were in usa.
even your in-laws were busy because it was their son's marriage too.
this is the first positive aspect of your in-laws.
and tell me don't you have any relative in india who could have taken this responsibility.
If you r saying that they had charged you twice, then tell me are u confirm before blaming them,
you r using such bad words for your husband's parents{also yours}
are u sure about all the bills.
do you know the quantity and prices of all the items.
Megha, i have two sisters, i arranged for everything on their marriage that's why i am asking you these things.
These days in india it is a trend of spending a lot on marriages that is why prices have rised much like palace-rent, cooks etc.
maybe this is your imagination that your in-laws charged you twice.
so please don't use such language if you are not sure about everything.
you are saying that you are going to sponser your hubby to usa.
Your in-laws know this that you are helping their son to get settle in usa, i don't think they could ever cheat you for money, this is the question of their son's future and moreover they have to give their son in hands of you and your family.
So, if they love their son i don't feel they could ever do anything wrong to you.
Write me that before or after marriage have your in-laws asked for money or any other demands.
tell me openly so that i could understand better and give you a better opinion.
One most important thing is that you must try to understand a husband's psychology.Like others he also needs respect from his wife.
We must understand one thing that after God there are our parents, who had not only given birth to us and but also fulfill our all needs and many times they sacrifice for our happiness.
As all good sons your husband also needs respect for his parents.
So, try to understand his feelings.
You also said that they didn't give you outfits,
megha, don't make it a big issue, they had given their priceless son to you.
So, i advice you to solve your problem calmly and with patience and try to understand your husband as this is a question of your life.
and also remember the moments when you decided to marry him.
you must consider their positive points also.
And don't decide immidiately.
I hope this could help you. If you need more help then write in detail, how much your hubby loves you, cares for you etc.
i would feel great to help you in such a situation.
One wrong advice can spoil your life, so think yourself.
loveguru
anjali replied. hi megha,
i think these replies r not helping u.In my opinion u r confident girl n u must be financially independent...so girl just chill..it's not a big deal.u can decide whether u want to live with that guy or not.
i think u rite now u don't share any close relationship with ur hubby becoz it's been only six mths..n these kind of problems crop up after marriage even if u know the guy before or not..it is a post marriage depression.it happens,i felt something like this even my was love marriage.
guys r more attached to there parents n they think they r true and they don't like anything against them.
give ur relationship some time, may be he is a nice guy..abhi u ppl don't share any bonding that's he is behaving like this.
nahi toh u can take ur own decision,there is no need to stretch such a relationship.n u can move on.i know it is hard ,sometimes we take decisions very fast keeping our parents in mind.
i had a somewhat same story i got engaged with NRI guy very fast as he has to leave early.but i started talking to him on phone i realised he n his family is greedy.they want money frm us.we r officialy married at that time,u knw court marriage for visa reasons.i took a hard decision i said no to him.later i have to take divorce.that time was hard for me n my family but now i'm happily married to the man i loved.
shk replied. You are born and brought up in the US and marry a pure Indian family and then call them cheap and greedy? Maybe you should marry some white guy and share a flat with his ex-girlfriends.
Rekha replied. If u r not staisfied with the replies u got..u kind of know what direction u want to go...so why r u back here....Do what u think is right..cause frankly...we don't know all the details...like other than in- law issues..how do u get along with hubby...how u r...etc etc.
Everyone has in law issues....even if u have great in laws..sometimes they just say or do the wrong thing..and u always have more tolerance for u'r parents than u'r in laws.
U been married 6 months..no bond with u'r hubby and u call his parents cheap and greedy..he has no loyality to u. Nobody likes to hear bad things about their parents..what did u realisticly expect him to do?
This is u'r married life..u don't need us to tell u what to do..u need to live with him and form a realtion..not us
Megha replied. Nazia, you're right,I'm not satisfied with the reply I got. Thanx for your support:)
xxx needs to chill out and GET LOST!!!!
xxx replied. hi,
this message is posted in month of nov last under divya's name.its same message.Even u r divya or megha whoever u r u got numbers of replies ther.n i think its enough for u to have decisions got from this forum.
xxx
2006-02-19
#1
Name: loveguru Subject: don't get confuse but think properly
Dear megha or divya whoever you are, as you are writting your problem again & again with different names i understand that you r really confused today.
i want to give my opinion to you, so try to understand my points.
at first you said that your in-laws had arranged the whole party,you write this in just a line but megha, this is not easy to arrange a big party, it was a big responsibility on them. They did it only because your parents were not able to do this as they were in usa.
even your in-laws were busy because it was their son's marriage too.
this is the first positive aspect of your in-laws.
and tell me don't you have any relative in india who could have taken this responsibility.
If you r saying that they had charged you twice, then tell me are u confirm before blaming them,
you r using such bad words for your husband's parents{also yours}
are u sure about all the bills.
do you know the quantity and prices of all the items.
Megha, i have two sisters, i arranged for everything on their marriage that's why i am asking you these things.
These days in india it is a trend of spending a lot on marriages that is why prices have rised much like palace-rent, cooks etc.
maybe this is your imagination that your in-laws charged you twice.
so please don't use such language if you are not sure about everything.
you are saying that you are going to sponser your hubby to usa.
Your in-laws know this that you are helping their son to get settle in usa, i don't think they could ever cheat you for money, this is the question of their son's future and moreover they have to give their son in hands of you and your family.
So, if they love their son i don't feel they could ever do anything wrong to you.
Write me that before or after marriage have your in-laws asked for money or any other demands.
tell me openly so that i could understand better and give you a better opinion.
One most important thing is that you must try to understand a husband's psychology.Like others he also needs respect from his wife.
We must understand one thing that after God there are our parents, who had not only given birth to us and but also fulfill our all needs and many times they sacrifice for our happiness.
As all good sons your husband also needs respect for his parents.
So, try to understand his feelings.
You also said that they didn't give you outfits,
megha, don't make it a big issue, they had given their priceless son to you.
So, i advice you to solve your problem calmly and with patience and try to understand your husband as this is a question of your life.
and also remember the moments when you decided to marry him.
you must consider their positive points also.
And don't decide immidiately.
I hope this could help you. If you need more help then write in detail, how much your hubby loves you, cares for you etc.
i would feel great to help you in such a situation.
One wrong advice can spoil your life, so think yourself.
loveguru
2006-01-28
#2
Name: anjali Subject: gud luck girl
hi megha,
i think these replies r not helping u.In my opinion u r confident girl n u must be financially independent...so girl just chill..it's not a big deal.u can decide whether u want to live with that guy or not.
i think u rite now u don't share any close relationship with ur hubby becoz it's been only six mths..n these kind of problems crop up after marriage even if u know the guy before or not..it is a post marriage depression.it happens,i felt something like this even my was love marriage.
guys r more attached to there parents n they think they r true and they don't like anything against them.
give ur relationship some time, may be he is a nice guy..abhi u ppl don't share any bonding that's he is behaving like this.
nahi toh u can take ur own decision,there is no need to stretch such a relationship.n u can move on.i know it is hard ,sometimes we take decisions very fast keeping our parents in mind.
i had a somewhat same story i got engaged with NRI guy very fast as he has to leave early.but i started talking to him on phone i realised he n his family is greedy.they want money frm us.we r officialy married at that time,u knw court marriage for visa reasons.i took a hard decision i said no to him.later i have to take divorce.that time was hard for me n my family but now i'm happily married to the man i loved.
2006-01-20
#3
Name: shk Subject: i see..
You are born and brought up in the US and marry a pure Indian family and then call them cheap and greedy? Maybe you should marry some white guy and share a flat with his ex-girlfriends.
2006-01-20
#4
Name: Megha Subject: To shk
I was born and grew up in India.
2006-01-14
#5
Name: Rekha Subject: ???
If u r not staisfied with the replies u got..u kind of know what direction u want to go...so why r u back here....Do what u think is right..cause frankly...we don't know all the details...like other than in- law issues..how do u get along with hubby...how u r...etc etc.
Everyone has in law issues....even if u have great in laws..sometimes they just say or do the wrong thing..and u always have more tolerance for u'r parents than u'r in laws.
U been married 6 months..no bond with u'r hubby and u call his parents cheap and greedy..he has no loyality to u. Nobody likes to hear bad things about their parents..what did u realisticly expect him to do?
This is u'r married life..u don't need us to tell u what to do..u need to live with him and form a realtion..not us
2006-01-15
#6
Name: nazia Subject: to rekha!!
sorry to say this but rekha urnot helpiing at all by say things that are unneccesary.........look everyone has problems.....and when they feel they cant to anything or dont kno wat to do..tahts why they share their problems....ya i undertand u saying that "its ur problem sort it out urself..we cant really do anything for u"....but hey....whats rong in sharing with sumone....it makes the person feel beter...and gives them ideas...anywayz so ur trying to say that every person that has submitted their problems on here are rong..and shudnt coz its their life..and their problem...!!!???? wel am sory to say u think rong...
anyways megha i wish u luck an hope ur problems are solved soon...tc allah hafiz
2006-01-15
#7
Name: nazia Subject: to rekha!!
sorry to say this but rekha urnot helpiing at all by say things that are unneccesary.........look everyone has problems.....and when they feel they cant to anything or dont kno wat to do..tahts why they share their problems....ya i undertand u saying that "its ur problem sort it out urself..we cant really do anything for u"....but hey....whats rong in sharing with sumone....it makes the person feel beter...and gives them ideas...anywayz so ur trying to say that every person that has submitted their problems on here are rong..and shudnt coz its their life..and their problem...!!!???? wel am sory to say u think rong...
anyways megha i wish u luck an hope ur problems are solved soon...tc allah hafiz
2006-01-13
#8
Name: Megha Subject: !!
Nazia, you're right,I'm not satisfied with the reply I got. Thanx for your support:)
xxx needs to chill out and GET LOST!!!!
2006-01-12
#9
Name: xxx Subject: whoever u r !!!
hi,
this message is posted in month of nov last under divya's name.its same message.Even u r divya or megha whoever u r u got numbers of replies ther.n i think its enough for u to have decisions got from this forum.
xxx
2006-01-13
#10
Name: nazia Subject: .........
to XXX.....(person who just wrote a comment b4 me)
yes i also hav read this before....but i dont see why people cant post their storys on here again....maybe megha doesnt feel satisfied with the replys she has had...leave her alone man who eva u r...lolz :P jus kidding....
maybe she did this so her story is on the front page...and get more attension to her story..right megha :)
tc cyaaaaaaaaaaa.xxx
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don't get confuse but think properly
gud luck girl
i see..
Name: Megha
To shk
to rekha!!
!!
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