Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

please help me. my husband's behaviour is killing me. there is so much interference from my in laws side, i can't tell you. so whatever he says its really getting impossible to believe him. it gives me so much mental tension hat whatever is coming from his mouth is controlled by them. very very irritating . i just hate hate it hate it. i wanbnt peace with myself and peace in my life. please give me some practical advice to control my life and my husband's behaviour.thanks i will be waiting for responses. thanks Guddy replied. Hi Sonia, I saw a post from you a week back on your family moving to Canada which you want to stop. Right?

Here is my suggestion - You first relax yourself, concentrating your thoughts on you, your husband and the kids. If we keep thinking about problems and feel self-pity it is difficult to solve our problems. We need to first make basic things clear like, how much does your husband value you, how much is he attached to you. (Dont compare his attachment with his parents or sisters here). Just feel and decide how he treats you, how he values you. That will be easier to make assertive statements to him.

As such, it is about 10 yrs since married, it is high time for your husband to realise that he has family of his own, which is his wife and kids, anyone other than this are just other family members. You can try to do this by visiting friends (his or yours) who live together happy which will definitely make him feel that he needs a family like that. As such, everyone wants to be happy and if they see someone happier, they would prefer to be like that too.. in general.

Then, instead of making complaints about him or his parents, you can insist that WE need to make a ideal family, WE need to be good parents to OUR kids, WE need to plan for the future of OUR kids, WE have plan for OUR retirement, WE need to arrange for a tour for vacation. Completely avoid talking about his mother or sisters for sometime, just insist on YOU , HIM and your kids in a nice way. Also, please him by being good to him. Mostly guys would get more attached to wives if they feel you do something to them just for themselves, like dressing something which he likes with extra care.

Then slowly, in your talks, bring in topic about his parents who dont treat you properly and just tell this lightly and then you can probably say \"; though i try to love them, when they do like this, i get frustated.anyway that is ok, as inlaws of anyone are like that only to dil, but i just told you how they are. (here change the topic), well, how about this dish for dinner today?\";.. This way, he will know how they behaved also, and he can think and respond as you didnt insist him to reply immediately. You see, anything replied immediately by guys, are not thought of them again, unlike girls. So dont expect them to reply if you want them to think about it.

May be, you can give a try. All the best, hope your problem gets solved.