Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hello Friends,

Well can't tell you how much sad and frustrated I am feeling today.

I had a very bad fight with My husband today, on the day i am leaving out of station for my cousin's marriage.

Well, My inlaws are very quite interfering and controlling. They have pulse of my DH in their hand. my DH will himself gets irritated with them some times still he wants me to behave very very nice to them.

Recently, my inlaws stopped talking to me after they had a hot argument with my DH for something. They are such a dramebaaz that i can't tell u. They emotionally blackmail my DH and MIL starts crying like anything even for a small thing such as my DH didn't call her from office to know her haal chaal. Am sick of them.

All these i have been leaving but whenever there is some festive time or puja time, They create fuss and make that worse day of my life. I had a very bad diwali, very bad karwachoth last year. And these time too wn these days are near by. They have started creating drama at house.
Well end of the day i see my DH, my inlaws and BIL get gel on the festive day and am totally left out like a staranger.

Today, i felt in my MIL's voice as if she wants to tell me that from the day i had come she is very upset and all her festivals are going bad (its just 2 years that i got married). i had a fight with my DH today as my inlaws stopped talking to me for no reason and even didn't answer me correctly wn i went to them for something.

I told all their behaviour to DH. He said that i know and really don't understand why they behavign with u like this, wn i had a little argument with them. I said but i don't have any role to play in that. They know I won't there in the house for 3-4 days still no one asked wn are u leaving wn will be u come back. As if they don't have any concern or atleast for the sake of formality. on the other hand, wn they go even to a relative's house within the same town they start talking abt it 1 week before ane want to involve everyone. He didn't understand and forced me to go to them and sit with them. I said no as i have been doing this for last 4 days and now am totally fed up as end of the day. He gels back and i am out of the picture as if i am done anything.

We fought like anything, shouted at each other, even he slapped me on the day of Ashtami :-((. His parents saw that we are leaving without having the lunch so they started like anything saying they want to die, mil said my son is so upset he is leaving home with tears and having no food, be it any festive day it goes bad.........all this for me.
I felt as if she was being sympathetic to my husband. REally confused thinking kahi aisa to nahi ki my DH is collecting sympathy from both sides and being goody goody. AS wn her mother shouted he just said - stop shouting. nothing that why are u saying all this without any link

am really sad and do not feel like going back home today.

Why womens are always left alone........even though they do so much for their families.........

pls help if someone can advise me, i am really geting fed up of my life...wanna be in peace
Tony S replied. Dear wanna live,
My husband has slapped me once and hit me otherwise another 4 times. 2 days back on our 8th anniversary day he got angry due to some silly reason and raised his hand on me. he did not hit me but threw the pen he had in his hand on me and pinched and squeezed my nose and pushed me. Imagine my inlaws, my father , my brother everyone was at home in the hall. I got so shocked that i shouted at the top of my voice . My MIL came into the room and held me trying to calm me. I asked my husband to shut his dirty mouth. he raises his hand for every petty disagreement. he is v. dominating and wants me to listen to his every word like a command. we can never do any tean work. The only team work we have done is our 2 kids, aged 3.5 and 1.5. After some time, I told my MIL u make him also understand that he cannot insult e like this every now & then. My father was shocked and highly hurt. He almost slughtly fainted and started feeling unwell. i simply dont like all this. he has no respect for me girls, and i am very sad because of all that. thanx for reading. Guddy replied. It is very sad that your husband is not able to get a percent of your feelings also. First thing, dont give a chance to him to raise his hands onto you.
Also, if your in-laws are ignorant, you also try to be ignorant to them. Respond to them only when they ask anything to you. What I have seen from me and my friends is that, we, DILs can never make a emotionally happy relation with our MILs. We can make them happy by doing all that they say, spending like hell (incase the DILs are earning) but at the end, a small \";no\"; or failure to obey , makes all those nullified.

So, it is better we start to think about ourselves. We concentrate on our family, I mean, self, Husband and kids, if any. This is my suggestion to you, may work for you. Try to be good to your husband, never complain in tears.If you have a problem which makes you cry, then cry alone somewhere (bathroom or park nearby) till your heart says, then come out of it, relax. Now it is time to let your husband know of what happened in a pleasant and light way. Just let him know what happened , dont wait for his reply or expect him to react but keep watching his face for reactions. If he has love for you, he will record what you said in his mind. You can just change topic after telling to a topic which he likes. With time, he may start thinking that you are very genuine,though being gurt by his parents. He would realize how good you are to him inspite of whatever his parents do to you, and also he knows he is not supportive to you, even though he does not show off that. Everyone know what they do, though they dont let others know that. So you let your husband know what is happening around you in a non-complaining, non-demanding way and make it as if you are just informing, and cleverly change the topic.

It is difficult to stop showing emotions when you talk about something which made you very sad, but we got to do something to deal such ILs issues. And, trying is no harm. All the best, wish your problems get solved. Take care. Be strong replied. Dear sister,
DONT LET HIM HIT YOU. How dare he raise his hand on you. Tell him that if one more time he hits you, you will send him to police with his whole family.
Then calm down and talk to him that you have done nothing wrong and cannot bear the injustice of his mother.
Dont bother what your mil says or does, turn a deaf year.
Keep your spouse happy and yourself happy.
Men are cowards, cant tell their mothers or wives that they are wrong and be balanced and right.
So before your mil guilts him into thinking you are the bad person. Be the first person to tell him that you care about him and cant take his parents but you care about your marriage & want to make it work.
And if he forces you to be good to his parents and not ask them to do the same then it is injustice.
But for no matter,ever let him raise his hand on you. Take care