Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hello friends,
few days back i saw this website and after reading some of the messages here it feels that why the heck these inlaws dont want to see their son and dils happy after marraige.
mine is not the different story from most you girls.It has been 2 and a half years for my marrige.ours was the love marraige.my inlaws were not happy with the choice their son made but eventually they agreed for it.
we all live togethere in US... and it has been like living in a HELL for me.they want to always have upper hand in our lives.i am working since past few months so i am able to keep my self occupied with some work.my problem is that i am so damn fed up living in that house with them tht i dont feel like entering that house.
you ppl might feel that this is the crazy post but i couldnt control my self so just letting my feelings out here.
thanks for reading it with patience
nef replied. hi there,

I am in the same situation as i think my ILs drive me nutz with wanting control and wanting to knw every detail of our lives. It drives me crazy as we have no privacy and i feel nothing is sacred then. We could not even go out for dinner cos my MIL is so sensitive! I cannot believe it. I was shocked and was not expecting this as i am used to loving parents. You see my x's family was very loving (inc sisters and extended family!) and loved me, showered me with gifts etc etc. It was so awesome but i didnt get along with the son and now i get along so well with my hubby but ironcly i dont get along with the ILs! So i totally understand all our positions. ILs r nutters! anyways after 3 months of living with them i made my hubby move and now we going to sell that other house and move further away! I have kept my distance, emotionally and physically and been firm in my decisions esp bfore the kids. I am so grateful for discovering this site and realising that there r others out there in similar situations tho i wish that it was not like that cos we all deserve love and happiness and most of all PRIVACY and the right to create our own lives with our own families.!
all the best and good luck! Nef. amira replied. First stop worrying puja. ours is arranged marriage ,but still lot of irritations disturbances in all the ways through phone, mail, in financial matters from them i started arguing with him so he went to that side, so please dont argue with him tell him in a polite manner, he is important to u do ur duty as a wife just forget others and enjoy. Everything is in ur mind. Tell urself i want to live happily, dont bother about anybody . Definetly ur husband will realise ur love soon . Generally males are innocents, they wont easily understand their parents they will think as if they are in their school days , they need time to realise them . Please be affectionate , truthful to him . Never give up ur right as a wife , u enjoy ur life. REad good books , improve ur positive thoughts, faith in prayers. Be confident in life.
BEST OF LUCK. nidhi replied. Hi DIL

I also share the same story like you and you pl dont worry about this as it will take time to control the situation... one thing which is very important is never ever misbehave with you In laws whatever is the cause and reason and you will see a change in your husbands behaviour ... he will always be there in all your decision.

I know its terrible as I am also going thru the same Love mariage and then not accepted and the same story ... but do not worry we will one day get our HOME ... just wait for the D DAY.

All the best.

Nidhi mama replied. hi,

yes this is the place to release pent up emotions. sometimes ppl have good ideas to help but always someone here knows just how you feel and will just reach out. prumessence replied. I can totally relate to you. What can you do? Just keep your support and love for your husband strong,for he is the one you want to understand you. Dont ever misbehave in front of him(or for that matter even when he isnt around) make appointments to meet him outside and have fun like regular couple and dont discuss them. Let him see how his life is more fun with you. And dont spend from your account. Save your money for future. Good luck.