Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi
can anyone suggest how to tackle inlaws probs,
inlaws who interfere24/7 and try to dominate me and my hubby. how can one control husbands.
any good tactics and suggestions ladies
plz i will be really grateful to all
how do i dominate my hubby and how can i convince
him to get seperate which he is not willing to??
plz suggest
thanks another hurt DIL replied. Hello Bhavna Koli,

I am very sorry to say but I think you are too much focused on how to dominate others including your husband !

Frankly speaking, I was really surprised to read your post....what is your goal- do you want to be loved & accepted by your husband & in-laws or do you want to RULE them?

See I am a woman too, I too am deeply hurt due to my in-laws constant nagging & interference and I don't have my husband's enough support, but inspite of all this, I never thought of dominating anyone. All I want is some peace & happiness in my married life and most importantly my husband's true love & support. And one can never get love by dominating the other person. It is applicable to everyone , inculding your in-laws, who will never get your love & respect by dominating & controlling you. They should also realize this fact.

You have said that your in-laws dominate you , so I think you probably know how it feels when somebody tries to dominate you, rule you and kill your wishes- Don't you feel hurt? Don't you develop hard & bitter feelings for that person? Don't you start disliking that person? Would you like if your husband develops the same feeling for you if you learn to dominate him? What would you get by dominating your own husband? Has he been unfair/cruel to you - why do u want to control him?

In my opinion, inspite of spending your precious enregy & time on learning the tactics to dominate someone, you should try talking to your husband calmly & cooly....make him understand your view point. If you are totally unhappy with your in-laws, speak to your husband about it. Make a list of convincing & valid points that why you want to live separately and then explain it to him. A mature conversation helps !

See it is difficult for a son to leave his parents, but at the same time, I understand that sometimes circumstances force you to live separately. Sometimes it becomes next to impossible to live with interfering in-laws and then its probably the best idea to live alone. Its better to live separately & be happy rather than living under the same roof & going through the same trauma day in and day out.

So lady....think before you act. Sit with your in-laws and tell them about your problems. Request them to make some adjustments on their part and tell them that you would do your duty....if they still don't get the message, then I don't think there is any option left.

And lastly- try to win your husband's love & trust- don't even think of dominating anyone in the life- you will end up hurting others.

I wish you lots of luck for your life ahead. God bless you always.