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Name: donewithit

i am having a terrible time - my fil is visiting for 3 months fro india - his wife passed away 2 yrs ago - he is the rudest most arrogant individual. he has no manners and is a mean and coniving person. he has even been called by his wife a shatan. he drinks equivalent 9 drinks every night and then looks for confrontation. my hubby works 2 evenings and isn't home and i avoid him. he is demanding and treats me like a servant. a few days back i tried to talk to my hubby and he cut my sentence off every time i opened my mouth - my hubby did nothing and overlooked it every time his father did it -i got pissed off and haven't spoken to them since. i am very angry and bitter - he has an older son who is preserving his family and avoiding him (my hubbys advice was why ruin your family life!) brother's wife had a fight with him last year and they haven't spoken since - she's also coniving! the man is so happy that i am not speaking to my hubby - you can almost hear the happiness in his vioce - i know this is what he was planning - i will not become a doormat for fil but i am about ready to have it out with hubby . also - we have been married 14 yrs with 3 kids and have never had more than a handful of arguements with nothing ever related to his side of family. he has admitted to brother and other family members how terrible his father is but expects me to be blind to all this nonsense and take this crap!? my blood pressure and stress level have gone up maybe ten fold. i am thinking about calling the brother and telling him that now our family is getting ruined but i know he's content that his father is here in usa and not a burden on him. hubby over caters to him and enables more of his crap. when hubby is not home he drinks more and leaves a mess unlike i've ever seen anyone before - one day i left it and in the morning he picked it up - he ignores the kids and has no involvement except to tell us that we are not doing enough and to send out oldest son to india with him so he can become a BIG man. quite literally at my wits end. we are in the middle of building out drem house and i don't want our life to become a nightmare - i mean the man is enjoying this - now he has his son all to himself without any interuptions from any of us (wife and 3 kids)relatives in india are fed up of him and he is also good at playing the emotional blackmail games and is constantly testing his son to see how many hoops he will jump thru. it makes me feel like packing my bags and leaving - i'm let down in my hubby - doesn't he know after all these years that WE are his family - that he's suppose to DEFEND US and SUPPORT US - instead he has cast us off aside - this is not the first time but fil is taking full advantage of his son. please post ANY ADVICE you can - i need all the help i can possible get -

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