Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi friends i have posted here earlier.i am the same girl who posted sometime back under topic hello and one that concerned my recent argument with my in-laws.they are mean,selfish,greedy people.i have had many troubles with them in the past.they now want us to go back to india so they can come live with us.they are very good at emotional blackmails.
the last time we had an argument coz i lost my cool after hearing their crap and cribbing.
now my sister called today and she tried to explain to me that i should be good to them,call them more often,be nice and see to it that my hubby is also happy with what all i am doing with them.she says i should allow them to meet my parents more often(which i do not like bcoz she misinterprets what my mum says and then instigates my hubby against my mum also)we are very well to do and they are middle class.my sister says they should go to my city,live in my house and be treated well so that they feel happy about who their son married,and feel that they are getting something outta the marriage.since me n their son r here since the time we married,they have nothing acoording to her.their 2nd son is here too and his wife n family also.so they are alone in india.
my sister says my husband is siding me now but it will not take long before his mom/dad will emotionally blackmail him and sway him towards them...and that i will be all alone then with him n his bro and his parents on one side.
she says he will definitely start swaying a few years after marriage as now he is newly married(2 yrs)so he's on my side.
he will also see how too have never forgiven them or had a good relation with them and will feel guilty.
now the problem is i hate them so much for how they have behaved in the past that i cannot bring myself to be really good to them.
i cannot send gifts,be like their daughter etc like my sister had adviced.
she says when we go back to india i can again spoil my relations with them if i do not want to live with them then.
all this time i have been calling them once in 3-4 months and have not been great with them.
they feel their son has changed becoz of me.
i need advice friends.
i don;t know what to think
is it better to let it be like how it was few calls and formal relations wth in laws
or should become the good bahu so that they feel secure and stop cribbing so much and so that hubby too feels happy.
i am sure he is sad with the way things are but i am also scared that if i am good to them now they will sit on my head and want to come here and when we go back want to live with us etc and start expecting more n more from us.
also i think it will come as shock to both hubby and them when all of a sudden i might have to be firm when it comes to living with them in future etc
i donno it's all so so confusing,
i need your views friends
thanks
confused girl
aakash replied. hai dear,
i can understand your problem i would only advise u to be patient and try to be nice to your in-laws in order to win your hubby's trust and once u win his love he will be able to stand for you. do not think that your partner does not notice the way his parents treat u, he will speak up once u win his trust. shower him with all your love and effection. your husband must have spend his entire life with his parents and with u it's just 2 years, keep yourself in his position and see u will find he has become sandwich between the two.(his parents and u). do u