Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

dont know who to share my thots with..so decided 2 write 2 u. my inlaws r visiting us for abt 3 weeks. my fil is visiting for first time since i got married in feb. 04. mil was here last summer as well and my hubby gave her all the attention. he would even accompany her to the restroom if we would be at the mall etc. mil loved all the attention and the son being in her control. This time its the other way around or so it seems. we moved to a house from an apt and bot new set of pots and pans. the old ones mil had bot and i didnt know that till i asked hubby recently. the coating was coming off and they were real cheap quality and old pnas- so i told my hubby to buy new ones once we move to new home. He agreed and threw away some of the used pans. We bot a new set plus my mom had bot us an expensive set of pans for my wedding as well. my hubby knows that and my mom kept that set with her till we moved in. when i visited mom (my parents live in north america)i just picked 1 pan and brought it with me. there was a knife block set which his sis had bot for him and i threw that away and got a new 1. this was with his permission as well. my hubby even threw away some of their clothes since they were old. anyways, mil arrived and questioned abt the pans and my hubby told her that he bot new ones which r better quality. he told her off in my presence. mil still uses her set of pans and pots(we didnt throw away a new set of 3) to cook everyday for the past 10 days shes been here. The same evening she brot up the topic at the dinner table. She kind of was pissed off abt her son throwing away pans and my fil was also at the table. my hubby said 'i dont know what mom's fascination is with those pans'. he was very firm and a bit loud. And, then my hubby took out the pan i got from my mom. I didnt even know where it was kept. He brot it to the table and showed them and said 'look this is quality'. and ofcourse my dad deals in metals(he knows quality) and i said my dad picked this for me. Next day at dinner my hubby says 'mom u made nice veggies' my fil replied'its cos of the pan she used'. Just showing support to his wife. OMG! MIL now has a major buddy. They behave like kids. Over the weekend, there was another issue and my inlaws refused to beleive my hubby. MIL just got her greencard and told the officer that shes here 2 months (half time she is with my SIL in USas well) and officer said 'GC means intention to stay and she sb here 6 months'. Now, MIL talked to my SIL's fil since he came bk to US within 6 months. And, she has to let my hubby know that she cheked with him. Then, family freind's son called and his wife is a GC holder. She used to come and stay 6 months in an year. My hubby tried explaining to my inlaws that theres no need to come every 6 months if u dont need citizenship. They just dont get it and they brot up this topic when we went out for dinner Fri. and I was there too. My hubby had already sent them a uscis.gov link as proof that its ok to b back within an yr.. I guess they wanted 2 c my reaction. Then, sat. morn MIL talked to SIL and again arguments with my hubby - i was in my room and didnt come out. My hubby had told me b4 marriage that his parents will move in with us after retirement. So maybe they think i have poisoned his mind. Thats why they r so persistent. My FIL called my SIL's fil Sun. evening telling him that its 1 year as per uscis. Then finally my hubby told my FIL that he will give a lawyers number. They dont have 2 beleive all these people. He did the right thing but they irritate people. So persistent. One more last issue. There is this DR. cousin of my mil who lives in NJ- his wife, son and DIL r all DRs as well. MIL/FIL fascinateds with DRs and their money. My FIL told me how many millions they have and they r so down to earth- my hubby wasnt around. So, now they want 2 visit them. Last summer they even ignored my mil by not returning her call - she desperatley wanted me to visit them. Just 2 show how rich her reelatives r. So, they told me over the phone b4 visiting US that they would take me to the cousin's house. Later they talked to hubby and told him the same. And hubby called me and i told him abt the cousin's behaviour last yr and he just kept quiet. For this coming weekend, we had planned to visit their family freind's daughter on Sunday. Now, my SIL's FIL (he's visiting and is with his older son and wife in US) were supposed to invite my inlaws on Sat. and didnt. Now my inlaws r plannin to visit frein's daughter on Sat.. Iasked them to call last nite and MIL said not rite now, we have to talk to our son first abt visitng the DR.. I knew my hubby wouldnt go so I just went to my room like i normally do after dinner. So last nite they talked to my hubby abt the DR. and my hubby refused to go. I was eavesdropping. He said to them'everyday its something or the other'. He doesnt want to drive so far and come back the same day and he refuses to stay over at their house. My hubby isnt impressed with money like my inlaws and he has refused to stay at their place earlier as well. Yes, he(my hubby) did attend their daughter's wedding cos they called him twice. My MIL wants to do a puja at home as well. And i dont believe in all this. So, she wants to make sure she does it. I just let it go. I was talking to my mom and she said that shes all abt 'stri hat' as per the vedas. Very stubborn and wants her way all the time. So how do u analyse the situation. I am not still sure if we r going to the Dr's this weekend or if mil is returning in 6 months. The way they r stubborn and persistent they mite have their way even upon my hubby's arguments with them. No self respect at all. May be they have been like this all the time which i never knew of. Hope to hear from u soon.... prumessence replied. Heavens! My inlaws behave the same way right down to the pots and pans. Even to FIL commenting. Freakish.
Unfortunately my husband doesnt believe in any retorts. He still holds onto pans and old clothes in basement!
They went to this rich relative's place and he is a bachelor..when i was in india they came here before i could as they had GC and i was waiting for my spouse visa and tried to fill my hubby's ears.
So they went to this bachelor's house and stayed there for a week!! And made my husband drive 6 hours 2 and fro to pick and drop them.
They lost their GC as they had to get one of their other son married around the same time when they were supposed to come here and they blamed it on me!
Even then came here on visitor visa to make my life miserable.
My MIL is so sick she holds my husband's arm and walks around mall and all and if my husband comes to me then she will butt in. My FIL intentionally will sit down somewhere and let her do all this so that my husband doesnt get to say that go with pappa.
I cried so much earlier when i came to US and it was after 2 years of marriage and wherever we went they came and didnt let us enjoy anything. Even to walmart she would take away my husband and ask stupid Q like what is this lotion..how much is this thing..what does that thing do etc etc. They taunted me when my husband got me anything for our weekend getaway it was my bday. That we had to hide it and bring it inside house. Now i feel i shouldnt have hidden it. Get them to see and shut up.
They didnt want me to call my husband at lunch hour and say stuff like\";this is not india where people work thru with legs on table and drink chai, he has work to do..let him do it\";
My husband used to come home at 8 after a long drive from work, we had dinner and then after i cleaned up kitchen and they went to sleep as they wanted to chat with him for half an hour, if we still had any energy we used to go out. our aptt was small so i couldnt tell him anything without them hearing us so we usually did 2 times a week as weekends were all for their plans..In US everything is closed by 8, so we went to see a movie and came home at 12 they had collected 2 of our apartment neighbors trying to make a search party saying that we didnt return home and they dont know where we are. So when we said that we went to see a movie(we went out at 10 and were back at 12:15)and any way they were supposed to be asleep.. they got mad and forebade us to do that again and if we need to we need to call & tell them our plans in advance!! My husband agreed.. i got so mad i refused to see any movie until they went back.
When we went to walmart and got grocery and came home. They got mad at me next morning saying we made lot of noise with grocery bag's..we tiptoed and whispered all the way thru..but they were like that.
MIL would wear pants to every function. Temple,engagement party etc. And when her bhabhi said that pl. wear a saree for engagement of her son.. my MIL says to her bhabhi.. this is my brother's house..so i am a daughter of this house. Just like your daughter(who is 16 yrs old) and just like your daughter can wear pants,so can i. You and your daughter in law,my daughter in law are in sarees and that is how it should be..this embarrassed us all and FIL/hubby even asked her to change but she didnt budge. She is 65 yrs old and cant even walk straight but she tells me she has a figure. Coz i am a little plump!!
When a common relative died and she didnt have white blouse she borrowed from her devarani and while returning rather than saying thanks says..it was too tight for me coz i am quite gifted in chest area and not flat chested like you.This infront of her husband and devar. All cheeks were red except hers. she will wash her sexy panties and hang in bathroom for all to see. When i said why wash like this put it in laundry and dry it she refuses. Cant even guess what is her reason.
Slowly and gradually i told all stories to my husband and he has gotten better in years not enuff to tell anything to them but atleast listens to me..
Freaky inlaws are scary esp if DIL's come from seedasaada families. So all i can say to u is hang on..and keep your sanity.