Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Date: 2003-10-08
Name: kmk
Subject: being independent

Hi

I agree to all your views of women being independent, i am a working women also, since i am financially independent, i could handle my in-laws problems to some extend, if not my story would have ended long before, ( i mean me and my hubby would have got sepereated), by now i feel i want to take a break from my work, i am very stressed, but i am very scared and i feel insecured having the thought of not working. I am quite my in-laws will give me hell lot of headache if i am going to stay with them at home.

Though we claim to be financially independent, the actually it is very stressful to manage home & office, i am really getting exhausted nowdays.
It looks like all along your life, you have think about how to prevent people who try to make your life miserable rather than thinking about u and your family. I guess most of us are in the same position Isn't that true busybee replied. Its true that work gives you some freedom and excuse to get of house. Also financially you are better off than begging money from hubby. You can do what you like w/o answering anyone. And the most imp advantage is not seeing the face of ILs 24x7. I am working but even if there's half day or some reason I am home on weekday I dont know what to talk to them the whole day. Also cooking, religious stuff and doing all-women work (being feminine) is not my piece of cake. I am a go-getter, frank person wheras my MIL is one who expects girls to talk very femininely with respect & nonsense and keep's a bird's watch on what I do, wear etc. I feel being under her watchful eye bit too much. She's not a bad person just its a different generation with differing views on everything. I thot of resigning to be with my toddler but I get scared that my ILs wud come to US often if they find me at home. My MIL has said that she gets bored at home in US and i'm sure she wud enjoy me taking her out to malls and exactly I dont want to do that. I dont want to be taken for granted and being answerable of my every deed. Now at work I can go shop at lunch time or I sneak out after work saying I'm at work. I enjoy that than being a housewife seeing their faces and meeting their expectations. entangled replied. I too was a working woman and was very exhausted and decided to take a break. When I broke this news out to everybody at home hell broke loose for me. But still I quit. Now I am at home and want to go back to work. Whenever there was a feeling of uneasiness at home I could atleast go to work and put my mind to work. Now that is not possible. Atleast you get a good nights sleep after you come home exhausted from work. Well I don't mean that women not working outside don't get exhausted. Its better to put your mind to work than sit at home and get entangled in a vicious routine. We are lucky atleast we can go to work. Anyways things might get better in the future. Most of our elder women (our mothers and mother-in-laws) were not working so they treat us in a way which we are not used to. Let us make the lives of our children and their spouses better in the future.