Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Many people stress the importance of a joint family. I feel that it is not good to advocate a particular solution to every circumstance. There is nothing like ideal. I wish to know from online friends, about their experiences. Please express your inner true experiences on the issue of need for joint family.. neha replied. I strongly feel that when a man gets married he should give his wife an option of staying joint/nuclear. Bcos largely it depends on women whether they want to stay joint/nuclear and many issues stem from the fact that DILs dont want to stay with in-laws and other members. Sons too may have reservations abt finance, privacy, independence but they don't mind as long as their wife gets along with his parents and the overall atmosphere is okay. Still children and parents should help each other in need - when sick, money matters, babysitting. But staying together ppl tend to take each other for granted. Also we indians have a long way to respect every family member, their decision making. Elders in India are of this general opinion that the young DILs how much ever educated/talented dont have brains when it come to running a household, and poke their nose in every matter - be it couple having an argument, any major shopping, spending on movies, eat-out - it gets to a point where even a DIL who wants to stay joint has to call it off. Much comes from the less respect that ppl in India have for women. Less said about a couple's privacy the better - bcos in India marraige and sex is only associated with baby-making. There's not much need of romance after marraige, bcos who has time and place for it. In case you get bored there's cooking, cleaning, religous feativals & more cooking for that, unwanted relatives, marraiges , threading ceremonies.... maskara replied. No one can advocate one type of family system for everyone. In any case, it is not a matter of choice. One is compelled by circumstances. I am a product of a nuclear family. And I am very happy to be brought up in independent surroundings. I did miss my working mother sometimes. But that did not make me bitter. rama replied. It depends on every person. Joint or nuclear, a person should decide the size as per choice. It is what one is comefortable with. jhama replied. You may not lose much. But, children might want to be with their grandparents. So, a joint family gives a healthy and secure environment to the kids. leela replied. Sometimes it is difficult to manage on our own but that is not always.We will learn to manage on our own and definitely our children will learn to manage on their own.They will learn to be independent. Moreover we can bring up our children according to our ideas without someone imposing their thoughts on us.