Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Dear ALL

I am writing to all of you who are depressed and worried about in-laws problems.
I got married 6 yrs ago. My husband is the only son of his parents so as usual my in-laws expectations were too much on me. I faced all the difficulties that you all are facing, but i wanted to write this to u all today to tell it is good for women to be financially independent I think that will solve lot of our problems, we must not be submissive as many of friends said, don't get so worked out in life for these in-laws problems, they have lived their life if they are not letting us live in peace,just ignore them as much as u can, but be clever, don't ever fight with them this will put u in a weaker position. Learn to live for yourself, i think that every human beings life has a purpose. We are not born just to fight and make ourselves miserable throughout our life, some people they niether live happily not they let others to live happily, this kind of people must be ignored. I think all of us must adapt this habit, if our husbands don't listen to our suffering also don't bother just go ahead you show them how strong you are i think people who create problems will get back, think for yourself and for your kids if you have, don't ever get depressed in life for your in-laws problems, try to cheer up yourself, i am trying to live for myself, my husband supports me, but as u all know come to talk about their parents they are very possesive, so don't care . Life is yours don't waste it for others, I know it is very difficult to do all this, but we as DIL have no choice other than this, i think ignoring this kind of people is better than make our life miserable for nothing. I still don't have a kid, I am working just don't take the time to think about it , and inspite of working stress i have to put up with all in-laws nonsense, but i still have hope that one day i will have a kid also and that will be free from all problems, be bold and face it live our life in the way u want, i was very submissive in the first years of my marraige, but now i am a very confident person, hope all of you can come out of all these problems and I wish you all good luck

My problems are not over yet, i know it is going to be forever, but i just don't bother. Let them say whatever they want to say, Even if they say something very surcastic, i don't react not even to my husband, i just ignore them this way you can maintain a good relationship with your husband. Try not take your in-laws problems to your heart. Try it i think you will find a difference. I hope most of you will agree to my sugesstion abc replied. Thanks for alterting me, but my husband is not like that, i know him very well, he too is very disturbed because of this, i doubt they just record our conversations, which we were not aware about, infact he himself was surprised when he can see a differencein the way these people react next day morning, I am quite sure they are by some way recording our conversation, though he first deined to me that nobody will do this kind of thing, and their family is not like that, later he got the doubt himself, so nowdays we don't talk much at home, we go out and talk, what a funny life. *********** replied. Hi abc,

Its very simple. Don't be shocked. Its your husband whose the spokesperson for your parents. Though I might sound very unreasonable, some husbands ( or most ) are mama's boys. We due to over trust or love towards our husbands speak very frankly about everything to them. But you later realise that you need to be calm and not blurt out everything. Just love your husband don't overexpress your feelings. Good luck.

********** wellwisher replied. Well said. One of the most effective ways to deal with difficult ILs is to \";kill them with kindness.\"; This means that no matter what they do to you, or say to you, you smile and keep cool. You speak to them in a calm, cool voice. Try this technique and it will amaze you how it boggles their minds every time as they don't know what to do to make your life miserable. They simply cannot understand how you can be so calm and unaffected by their remarks.