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Role of in-laws:marraige

2003-09-25

Name: ruta I have a question. How to relate with ILs or husband's siblings after marraige? I am on the verge of being married and I have a sense of no-belonging for his family. No matter how much I try they are not MY people whom I love or care for. They are strangers (other than hus) and I don't care at all about anything that happens with them (good or bad). Thankfully we two are going to reside in a different city (thats where we work) than all his family and in future I will not move to go closer to them. I will appreciate if ladies can give me insight if they love & bond with their marital home.

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I have a question. How to relate with ILs or husband's siblings after marraige? I am on the verge of being married and I have a sense of no-belonging for his family. No matter how much I try they are not MY people whom I love or care for. They are strangers (other than hus) and I don't care at all about anything that happens with them (good or bad). Thankfully we two are going to reside in a different city (thats where we work) than all his family and in future I will not move to go closer to them. I will appreciate if ladies can give me insight if they love & bond with their marital home. friend replied. I got married 5mnths back and had to stay with my BIL's family for nearly a month before me and hubby moved to another city.But the one month has not helped to create any bonding between me and them and i feel absolutely nothing for them(but the hubby expects me to feel great admiration for them?!!)...
Also my BIL and his wife didn't really do anything much to make me feel comfortable or wanted.
I guess we all have become too materialistic and self-centered to care abt each other.....
Hope u have a better response from ur hubby's siblings....
keep us updated.... Aparna replied.
I guess the first bond will be that you love your husband and realize that he loves his family, just as you do yours. That made me want to be nice to them - it helped that they were very nice to me too, and I started to care about them. It helped that my inlaws visited us (pretty long visits), that helped me get to know them and feel like they're part of my new family. But the real bond came when I had a baby, and realized that my inlaws, especially mom-in-law loves her as I do.

It helps so much that they respect me, and my husband cares about and behaves wonderfully with my parents. Sure I have differences of opinions with inlaws sometimes, but who doesn't? The key is to be nice even when I disagree - I think about what I would want my husband to do when he is around my parents.

Hope that helps. Congratulations on your impending marriage.

2003-10-03

Name: friend
Subject:

hello

I got married 5mnths back and had to stay with my BIL's family for nearly a month before me and hubby moved to another city.But the one month has not helped to create any bonding between me and them and i feel absolutely nothing for them(but the hubby expects me to feel great admiration for them?!!)...
Also my BIL and his wife didn't really do anything much to make me feel comfortable or wanted.
I guess we all have become too materialistic and self-centered to care abt each other.....
Hope u have a better response from ur hubby's siblings....
keep us updated....

2003-09-30

Name: Aparna
Subject:

I guess the first bond will be that you love your husband and realize that he loves his family, just as you do yours. That made me want to be nice to them - it helped that they were very nice to me too, and I started to care about them. It helped that my inlaws visited us (pretty long visits), that helped me get to know them and feel like they're part of my new family. But the real bond came when I had a baby, and realized that my inlaws, especially mom-in-law loves her as I do.

It helps so much that they respect me, and my husband cares about and behaves wonderfully with my parents. Sure I have differences of opinions with inlaws sometimes, but who doesn't? The key is to be nice even when I disagree - I think about what I would want my husband to do when he is around my parents.

Hope that helps. Congratulations on your impending marriage.

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