Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hello all
been reading this section for a while now. So just thought i wud post this q to you all. Hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel with ur answers.
This does not concern my ILs. They are quite Ok people. of course there are a few issues on and off, but as i stay abroad its ok I give a deaf ear to them. The issue is my husband. He is one of the \";least concerned\"; kind of a person. he believs that his job is to go for work come home, watch tv, go to bed. No concerns abt finances, or waht can we do for the weekend, or what to do for the coming hols. If we go in for any investments, he is not concerned abt if we will have enough money in the end. He keeps telling me \";you think too much\";. He is not bothered abt long term plans. He says they are a waste. and does things at the spur of the moment, and so on and so forth.
So the problem is I am a planning kind of a person. I usually think a little before commiting and checkout every aspect before to anything major. I perfer a previously booked tickets rather than being on tenterhooks as to when the ticket gets confirmerd, wheter i do or dont have to pack. We differ hugely on financial issues.
i am now so completely fed up of the quarelling that is going on, which zaps me of the energy and time, that i let him do what he wants, and do not say anything even if i want more information and coviction to take any particular thing up. But this has left me feeling insecure and has increased my anxiety.
so ladies any suggestions on what i can do abt this? augustborn replied. Hi Capricorn
Its a good thing that you are the kind of person who is strong on planning.
Many a fortune have been frittered away by spendthrift women. If the lady of the house does not keep a tight hold on the finances, it would surely be an ill-managed household.
If your husband is not the 'planning and saving' kind of guy, its your duty to take over the financial and planning aspect. You two are equal in this marriage and should complement each other. Idea is to plan and save, either you or your husband can do it. In your case, it would be advisable that you do it. Seeing your effecient ways, your husband will also take interest in it eventually.
Hope this helps... born again a bahu replied. hi there,

me and husband are just the opposite. Id ont like to waste too much time thinking and analyzing options. I usually prefer fast action. (ofcourse the tickets on time is a no no with him as well as me, thank god!)
but as you said we do quarel most of the times on such issues. I guess thru the years, we have learnt to accept each other and look for a middle solution than stick to our guns. saves a lot of tension.
whatever he is, he has succeded so far because of his ways. accept that. (unless he is grossly irresponsible) try to find a middle. try reading on the net about battles between spouses about handling finance. you will find plenty of day to day solutions.

hope helps.